(Wrote this yesterday, just getting around to posting this now)

The fact that I have been crying on and off for the better part of a day over the death of a person I had little to no interpersonal interaction with sounds nuts, doesn’t it?

I mean, it’s no secret that I idolize the folks at Giant Bomb. Attaining that level of perfection is my dream. Their persistent stream of A+ content helped me through a lot, like a breakup in 2011, the fast food job that is slowly eating away at my very soul, and the swirling vortex of insanity that is the college application process. Whenever I felt down, they were there. I have never laughed harder than at Giant Bomb’s very best. Part of that was Ryan Davis. Even though he wasn’t really in charge, the man was the MC for practically everything. The reason the Bombcast was so fucking good is because Ryan was a killer host and editor. He knew exactly what do with his guests. It was clear that his co-workers and friends adored him.

And now he’s gone.

I don’t know why; both in terms of existentialism and reality. Cause of death hasn’t been released. Doesn’t really matter. The guy literally just got married to a woman he clearly loved. He was 34. So many of his friends’ last interactions with him was at his wedding. As Rorie put it: "In the face of this awfulness, many of us will at least always remember him as we last saw him: outrageously, uproariously happy, looking forward to his next adventure with the biggest grin his face could hold." That’s an excellent way to remember somebody. And his fans and peers clearly remembered him well. ‘Ryan’, ‘Ryan Davis’, and ‘RIP Ryan Davis’ were all trending worldwide on Twitter today. Clearly, this man’s passing has affected people, myself included.

I don’t know why. Ryan Davis was funny, talented, friendly, and everpresent. I own 3 Giant Bomb T-shirts. All of them have something to do with Ryan. The guy was clearly popular. But we never really knew him. When Dwayne McDuffie passed, I was really sad. I never cried openly for the guy, though. It’s going to take me a while to get over this one. I won’t be crying for weeks, but Ryan is going to leave a hole in my life.

I don’t know why. Was it the raw amount of admiration I felt for him? Was it that I wanted to be in his position? Was it that I kind of expected Giant Bomb to be a constant? Patrick leaving was really sad, but he can always come back. Ryan is just…gone. Forever. We’re never going to hear his fantastic laugh again. He won’t amaze us with just how delighted he gets by dumb shit. The podcast is just Vinny, Brad, and Jeff now. Maybe it’s that I’m watching my favorite group of people fall apart before my eyes, and a fucking unfair death certainly isn’t helping. Is that selfish? Is all mourning selfish, because it’s based in never being able to experience that person again?

The point is, I’m going to miss you, Ryan Davis. And I’m not alone. You touched a lot of people.

See you on the other side.

For the uninitiated, Miracle of Sound (Gavin Dunne to people who prefer to use real names instead of internet monikers) is the guy behind the 'Commander Shepard' song and video that caught the eye of the internet a while back. He's done a lot of really good and varied stuff since then, like a jazz song about LA Noire or a metal song about Left 4 Dead. And out of all his songs, here are my favorites so far.

Number 5

Redemption Blues

Redemption Blues is on this list specifically because of the final chorus, specifically around where the 'Justice ain't no lady...' verse begins. I love quiet music that gets bigger and louder as the song goes on, and Redemption Blues exemplifies that perfectly.

Number 4

Age of the Dragon

There's something about the way Mr. Dunne's voice sounds in this one that I really dig. I've never played the Dragon Age games, and Dragon Age 2 in particular isn't something I'm thrilled about picking up, but this songs seems to really paint DA2 in a positive light, and is making me reconsider skipping it entirely. The chorus is sung pretty damn well and the mix of guitars really...do...something good. Man, I don't know. I'm not a music critic.

Number 3

Fire in Your Hole

The feeling I get from this song is the same feeling I get from eating one of the best fast food burger I've ever had in my life. The (well-sung) chorus is about a psycho shitting his pants and the verses are basically about all the wonderful ways you can kill somebody, but I'll be damned if it isn't really good.

Number 2

Comin' For Your Tank

Out of all the songs on this list, I think this one personifies the game in question the most. This is exactly how going up against a tank in Battlefield 3 feels.

Also it actually managed to make me like a electronica song. That's no mean feat.

Number 1

Sovngarde Song

It sounds really good, okay?