As heard in a super hot Korean cam girl's stream.

A chill went down my spine as the vile question came into existence. I finally figured out the 'what' of my short life, but just as I became comfortably content it hit me. Why the fuck was I doing any of this?

Was it for my own happiness? Am I happy? Am I living to the fullest of my potential? Is this the best person I can be?

I have no idea. I can't even begin to explain how disconcerting this feeling is; the feeling that everything I've done was for someone else. Someone with the same name as me, and the same friends, and the same family. As if I had been dumping water into a bucket with no bottom. But no more, I've been given sight.

I feel this freedom, and complete and utter terror. For the first time in my life I feel like I'm in control. As weird as it sounds I feel like my thoughts are my own.

I accept this freedom.

寝る

I've been trying to remember the little Japanese I learned, and surprisingly it's coming back to me. I might take a more advanced class next year.