Giant Bomb Presents: Nikki Glaser

@weapongod30@devildoll@retardedfishy

I don't think you understand what she was saying. She isn't saying men aren't allowed to make dirty sex jokes. She is saying men aren't allowed to presume what is and is not acceptable when engaging her based on her material, especially if they don't know her. Just because she has made a sex joke doesn't mean the topic of sex has been personally broached between her and the viewer. She makes dirty sex jokes for a living, so men directly contact her thinking that they can say dirty things to her. She might say, "I can't get laid these days," as a joke in a stand-up act, and men will contact her via Twitter, Facebook, or in person, and say "not sure why you can't get laid ur pretty lol", or, worse, "I'll fuck you right now." That is what she means.

The reason that I know this is what she means is because this is literally the lament of every female comedian. Men take a female stand-up's material to be their actual life story, and misinterpret performance as a private confession, every single day. Jen Kirkman is a successful touring comic of a coupla decades, and she spends a lot of time on Twitter retweeting the kind of bullshit she and other women in general are put through: twitter.com/JenKirkman Additionally, here is a blog that is largely populated by the negative sexually-charged interactions female comedians are put through by men: actualthingstheysaid.tumblr.com/

As far as this "not all men" bullshit: too bad dudes. You are a man, and you are going to be perceived as a threat before anything else. That is the world you live in. That is the world other men have created for you, for everyone. Women have every right to talk generally about men as being threatening, because, in general, men are threats.

Coincidentally, it just so happens that today the hashtag "WhenIWas" is trending on Twitter. The subject? As a woman, at what age were you first (keyword: FIRST) sexually assaulted? https://twitter.com/hashtag/wheniwas?src=hash

Actually, this is no coincidence. Women are speaking out about how the majority of men are threatening every day.

Whoa at some of the things said in here...

I'm going to bed, I would have liked to reply to more of your post, but I just had to reply to this bit now.

I can't comprehend living in an environment where the majority of men, or simply people were threatening to me.

Either, everyone around me would have to be evil, or I would have to perceive threats where there were none.

Seriously, that just can't be a situation that a huge number of people are in, cause in order for that to work out, they'd have to be threats themselves.

@devildoll: You are a male. You should seriously consider how much empathy you have for the admitted, self-described plight of

literally

millions

of women.

You will need to trust these women, since, in general, your only choice is to 'imagine' a life of fear. It is one that, statistically, you, as a male, will not lead. Choose to listen, or choose to pretend it doesn't exist. There isn't a middle ground.

I'm super excited to hear this. Loved Nikki on Danswers and her recent appearance on WTF with Marc Maron.

@president_barackbar: That WTF episode was really good.

how do you even go out and pay for sex in the states? It's illegal pretty much everywhere....

@dracomaster01: Nevada my friend.

@amyggen: I should go to Nevada...

lol at actively encouraging prostitution

Honest request: @danryckert and @dannyodwyer, if you guys can't make the time to have an even slightly consistent Danswers schedule, can you maybe just call the whole thing off? I understand you're busy guys with work and whatever other projects, so it happens.

Just saying, between earlier episodes there was a gap anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months, but then there was a 3-month gap between the Samantha Kalman episode and the Paul Ryckert episode, and now there's been a 3-month gap between the Paul Ryckert episode and whenever the next one goes up (if you want we can count this Nikki Glaser conversation, either way it's a long time). That's no way to schedule a podcast.

If it's a scheduling thing where visiting friends/guest Dans have been in short supply since Brad Muir and Samantha Kalman, then maybe power through with or without a guest? Rope in a random nearby CBSi employee, even if we've never heard of them? Or if a month goes by and you haven't put up an episode, just record one with Dan and Danny and no guest Dan?

FUCK YES, NIKKI! This was great last time!

@bisonhero: Easy there, pardner. No schedule was ever determined for Danswers. For me (and many others!) the frequency means ZIP, NADDA, as long as I know there's another one on the table! Cancelling it would be pointless and tragic. Many Giant Bomb features have seen lulls in frequency only to return; Giant Bomb never 'kills' a series anyway. What would be the point? I'm sure they're glad you love Danswers but you can't just decide what you want the schedule to be and hold them to that! Let's let ourselves have nice things please.

@devildoll: It's almost as if we're dealing with a cultural problem of some kind!

Which feed will this be in?

@kcin: I know what she was saying, thank you very much. I wasn't talking at all about what jokes people are and are not allowed to make. I also wasn't disregarding what she was saying about dudes saying creepy things to her because of her jokes. That's not okay, and I would hope that you wouldn't be able to find anyone saying that it is okay here on Giant Bomb.

As to the second half of your post, excuse me? Too bad for me? Fuck that noise. It's not okay to lump me in with a bunch of assholes who rape people. It's not okay to generalize and lump anyone into their "group." I'm not a threat, and I'm not going to sit back and be told I have to be okay with being called a threat, simply because some people can't control themselves. Please take that shit elsewhere.

Came to leave a comment saying how awesome this podcast was,

left disappointed in the shithole the comments are on a light-hearted, fun podcast.

Way to be, guys! Take something good and make it shitty, dark, and negative.

I hope you're proud of yourselves!

@weapongod30: Yo dog. This is not people calling you out as a specific threat, It's saying enough men are threats for you to be considered a potential one. It's saying that women have a right to keep a distance if they want to, because you just don't know.

Unfortunately it's gonna take a societal and cultural change for that to be less true.

@wikmalm: That person seemed to be specifically calling out me (and the other two guys), however. That in particular is what I took issue with. It's one thing for someone to want to keep their distance, which I never said I had a problem with, but it's another thing entirely for someone I don't know to say to my face that I myself am a threat due only to the fact that I'm a man, especially when they go on to say "too bad dude." *That* is what I was taking issue with in the comment I responded to.

Not gonna lie, misreading this made me listen to this podcast:

"sex between the American Dan and his college buddy-turned-Comedy Central star"

@bisonhero: Danny talks about why there has been a lack of Danswers here: https://youtu.be/7XQBrz1kupc?t=6m17s

Anyways, this is a highly entertaining podcast. My favorite Dan is him just shooting the shit about life etc with people.

eh, not my type of humor, but hey whatever floats your boat.

@none_braver: Giant Bomb Presents.

Nikki is great - love the crossover.

Yeah, I was mainly annoyed that this was in the "Presents" RSS when it really should have been in "Danswers".

I ended up listening to it and as you predicted, just really bad advice. Admittedly a pretty funny Danecdote (in retrospect, nothing exactly *surprising*) but overall I can't help but feel I'd have been better off skipping it.

At best the "career advice" part was a refresher on privilege and how it contributes to some pretty myopic worldviews.

Statistically? Men are more at risk of pretty much all violence, and the threat of stranger rape is exaggerated. That doesn't mean it's wrong to respect women's anxiety about it, but the whole "You're a man, you wouldn't understand" thing is pretty ridiculous, and I really don't think reinforcing patriarchal narratives about how men threatening and women are victims is all that helpful.

Also, Nikki's phrasing was "You're a fucking man. You're not allowed to talk to women like that, because you're capable of rape." which is just grossly offensive.

The bee thing....

I would pay a lot of money to never have to think about bees or fruitloops ever again

e: add mouse traps to this too

A lot of people don't agree that it's good and fun. Many think there are fundamental issues in the Danswers podcast format and that some of the advice being given is irresponsible. I'm inclined to agree with a lot of that feedback, and I've said as much myself in some previous comment sections.

It's fine if you think differently, but please be respectful and civil towards those that don't share your opinion - it's one of the core tenants of the community rules here.

Good podcast all around. Nikki's great. The weird porn talk while I was driving by an elementary school was really fun.

Also, I find the comment section ironic following last week's Beastcast. Some people around here are offended by a certain comment Nikki made (and I don't blame them) and they're being told they're not allowed to feel that way.

@kid_gloves: Well, nice to get an update on the situation, though I wish it was communicated better on the site itself, instead of expecting me to follow Dan and Danny on every possible social media and streaming video site. I agree with Danny that if they're going to do a serious advice podcast (as opposed to a comedy advice podcast), they need to do it right or not at all. And between the lackadaisical schedule and the issues that Chaser324 alludes to above, I was personally hewing closer to "hey, what about 'not at all'", but it's nice to hear that Danny is going to approach it with renewed commitment.

Slight pubic service warning, avoid mixing Xanax and alcohol, it can be pretty dangerous.

Let's get this back on track

• Nikki you are great
• Thank you for telling me what networks were using Snapchat for
• What a great interview/chat among friends

The "actual things they said" blog was interesting. It ranged from straight up sexual assault to "how is that even offensive to anyone?" Not that it's my place to say you can't be offended by something, but this for example:

I was hosting at the FunnyBone and after I brought on the feature and walked off stage the feature said:

“Give it up for her. I call her "her” because she told me her name and I forgot it. So we’ll just call her “Becky”. Give it up for Becky!“

I think if you're around comics, they are going to make jokes, sometimes at your expense. It's all based on context though, I suppose. If that joke was preceded by a bunch of other shit, then that's different, but taken on its own, that strikes me as harmless.

@kcin: I was with you until you started to defend generalizations. Why do you think grouping half the population is an acceptable way to think?

Eh, I gave her CC show a couple watches and it's pretty terrible. I get that she's one of those "sex" comics or whatever and in general I think she can be funny but her show is just straight up raunch. I was surprised it wasn't on at a later time considering the amount of explicit content.

"You are not allowed to talk to women like that, you are capable of rape" ... wtf?

If you're taking advice, from a Giantbomb podcast you probably have other problems going on in your life that no one can fix. It's funny stuff, enjoy it for what it is. I've never gotten the impression they billed Danswers as a legit advice podcast.

man- a lot of super serious chuckleheads in this comments section.

Pretty bad phrasing. loool

Irony of ironies - people actually actively showing how dickish guys can be on the Internet...on the Internet in a comment section.

What Nikki said isn't wrong. You don't get to make lewd, clumsy come-on "jokes" to strange women who happen to host a sex show because, overwhelmingly, men rape women. Unwanted sexual comments are part of the culture of rape. No one is trying to claim that it's the same thing as the physical act, but it's indicative of the attitudes around rape; that no one would really see it as a big deal. It's great that I haven't raped, and it's great that I don't have rapists in my circle of friends, but just because it's a chilly day today doesn't mean that global warning is a hoax.

That fruitloops anecdote almost made me vomit

Nikki says a lot of contradictory things.

She's a comedian, it's a joke, get it?

That was pretty bad.

At the risk of being called an MRA proponent (which I'm not!) I should say, that was a comment I had a problem with too. They shouldn't be talking that way for sure, but consent is consent from both men and women. Men might be more capable of physically forcing sex, but that's a pretty strict definition of rape. No means no, period. Drunk consent gets really gray pretty quickly, but that's a much larger topic for another time.

In summary:

• Try mixing xanax and alcohol
• Lose your virginity, pay for a prostitute if you have to
• Men are "capable of rape" (?) and therefore are not allowed to say certain things
• Female comedian talks about taboo topics like sex a lot (big shocker)
• Porn exists

What an uncomfortable hour.

So far there are six people here upset that Glaser generalized about men being inappropriate and threatening.

CHVRCHES' lead singer on the way men interact with her online, posted today:

"This isn't rape culture. You'll know rape culture when I'm raping you, bitch"

"I have your address and I will come round to your house and give u anal and you will love it you twat lol"

"Act like a slut, getting treated like a sluy [sic]"

"It's just one of those things you'll need to learn to deal with. If you're easily offended, then maybe the music industry isn't for you"

But why should women "deal" with this? I am incredibly lucky to be doing the job I am doing at the moment – and painfully aware of the fact that I would not be able to make music for a living without people on the internet caring about our band. But does that mean that I need to accept that it's OK for people to make comments like this, because that's how women in my position are spoken to?

http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2013/sep/30/chvrches-lauren-mayberry-online-misogyny

Nikki Glaser directly interacting with men who behave the way she describes in the podcast:

Women live lives in which no kind of man can be trusted. Fathers. Brothers. Friends. Neighbors. Strangers. Clerks. Police. Peers. Bosses. Patrons. Clergy. Judges. Elected officials. You take umbrage with women asserting that men are generally not to be trusted, because you yourself are trustworthy? How about understand instead that they aren't talking about you? Not everything is about or directly addressed to you. That kind of "this is about me" attitude is why female comedians are approached this way in the first place. Stand-up material isn't a personal conversation with you if she wasn't talking about you. A brief statement about men being threatening isn't about you if you are in fact not threatening.

EndlessMike, weapongod30, why do I think it's acceptable to group "half the population"? Because that is how women survive. They carry pepper spray. They do not engage cat-callers. They don't get into the cars of friendly strangers offering rides. They don't take drinks from the guy at the club. They do not trust men, because enough men have been untrustworthy that it is not only smart, but safe to assume that that man being sweet to you has an ulterior motive. Accept that that is a fact. The majority of women in my life have been sexually assaulted. And you wanna know the kicker here? I am a man myself, and the only thing that bothers me about men being perceived as threats is that other men are so fucking disgusting that they have ruined it for the rest of us. That is the world we live in. If you don't understand that, you are not listening to women.

Anund, you're right, the link I provided for you (one that I happen to have known about in advance, not one that I sought - which you are, of course, free to do on your own!) does not exclusively host reports of violent sexual assault. Why do you make so much of your post about drawing ire with one arguably innocuous exchange? Are the actual sexual assault instances somehow outweighed by the one you deconstructed? Yes, sometimes people complain about people being mean. Take those instances, set them aside, and look instead at the many hundreds of MILLIONS of words through the course of human history dedicated to describing sexual violence against women.

reruns, sure man. Men get themselves into violence all the time. Male on male violence. Violence that can be avoided and escaped. I'd take that over living a life where I can't trust any man around me. Poor you, though. Gotta push through the static of not being a bad guy before men can be trusted. What are you gonna do about that to make it better? Here's a start: challenge men who assert that the status quo should itself not be challenged. A few dudes said it's fucked up that Nikki Glaser said they are like rapists. If we could stop men from thinking that "not all men" is even remotely a part of the conversation around sexual violence and just let the conversation on sexual violence happen, we wouldn't be saddened by the default threat that women face from us from our biology alone.

"Please take that shit elsewhere." Don't worry, women do take that shit elsewhere.

I don't know what you listend to but in the context of the conversation that didnt sound like a joke to me. That sounded like a stupid, generalizing statement.

@kcin: Well said.