Something went wrong. Try again later

Giant Bomb News

124 Comments

Aperture Science Has An E3 Surprise

by on

Another decisive victory for in-character press releases.

Just read it.

Dear Subject Name Here, 
 
Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word "surprise", of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.

If you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.

Thank you for <<RECORD SCRATCH!!!>>
 
PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.

When I grow up, I want to be the CSO: Chief Surprise Officer.
Filed under:
Portal 2

124 Comments

Avatar image for shibbxyz
Shibbxyz

289

Forum Posts

18

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By Shibbxyz

Expect the Suprise When the Clock Strikes 1!
Avatar image for hef
Hef

1239

Forum Posts

486

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 7

Edited By Hef

Vavle is the best company ever

Avatar image for plop1920
plop1920

562

Forum Posts

100

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By plop1920

They are going to flood E3 with a deadly neurotoxin
Avatar image for bollard
Bollard

8298

Forum Posts

118

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 12

Edited By Bollard

Aperture Science <3

Avatar image for cortez95
cortez95

8

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By cortez95

i'm actually excited but too bad i can't come -.-'

Avatar image for xenozak
XenoZak

172

Forum Posts

29

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By XenoZak
@9cupsoftea said:
" Valve, stop it. You're showing up how bad everyone else is at marketing. "
Ahhh, they always do. :)
Avatar image for selbie
selbie

2602

Forum Posts

6468

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By selbie

The cake will be revealed....and subsequently removed before we can taste its deliciousness.

Avatar image for rasgueado
Rasgueado

838

Forum Posts

2324

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 6

Edited By Rasgueado

They'll roll out a giant cake on-stage.Following that, a giant GladDos unit--with burlesque attire draped awkwardly across the chassis--will burst out of the cake and sing "Happy Birthday."  

Avatar image for olivaw
Olivaw

1309

Forum Posts

6

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By Olivaw
@Winternet said:
" @Olivaw said:
"EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
These words fully describes my inner thoughts.  I don't know why people are saying to forget episode 3 and asking for HL 3. HL 3 will be in a different time/space thingy. They need to wrap this setting. HL 3 can't be fighting combine with Alyx and Dog.  I say HL 3 is coming out in 2012. Six years after HL 2: Episode One. Makes sense. "
Saying that a game titled Half-Life 3 will come out within the next eight years is an extremely optimistic assessment.
 
Have you people forgotten how Valve works? Episodes take years to make, if you tell them to make a full sequel we will not see it in our lifetime.
Avatar image for darkjester74
darkjester74

1743

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

Edited By darkjester74
@Rasgueado said:
" They'll roll out a giant cake on-stage.Following that, a giant GladDos unit--with burlesque attire draped awkwardly across the chassis--will burst out of the cake and sing "Happy Birthday."   "
That would be the best thing ever.
 
Also, I believe Gabe has said that HL2 E1+ E2+E3 = HL3....soooo, yeah.  :-(
Avatar image for machofantastico
MachoFantastico

6762

Forum Posts

24

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 73

User Lists: 4

Edited By MachoFantastico

As great as Portal was, I'm honestly not the excited for Portal 2.  
 
Sort of wish Valve actually got their heads out of their backsides and revealed something to do with Half-Life.  
 
But still, that is pretty cool. 

Avatar image for foggel
foggel

2780

Forum Posts

531

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By foggel

Haha nice.

Avatar image for red
Red

6146

Forum Posts

598

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 5

User Lists: 11

Edited By Red

Valve sure has some high-larious press releases.

Avatar image for strangeling
strangeling

1317

Forum Posts

28

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 50

Edited By strangeling
@plop1920 said:
" They are going to flood E3 with a deadly neurotoxin "
That might hurt sales. 
 
They should give out shower curtains for E3 swag.
Avatar image for jeffgoldblum
jeffgoldblum

3959

Forum Posts

4102

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By jeffgoldblum
@strangeling said:
" @plop1920 said:
" They are going to flood E3 with a deadly neurotoxin "
That might hurt sales.  They should give out shower curtains RINGS for E3 swag. "
Avatar image for krismactavish
KrisMactavish

7

Forum Posts

1

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By KrisMactavish

God damn it, I love Valve!

Avatar image for lutonhatter
lutonhatter

389

Forum Posts

360

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By lutonhatter

Wasn't my email or image, but so rarely does something make me laugh so loudly:

http://i.imgur.com/IyLm3.png

Avatar image for mewarmo990
mewarmo990

862

Forum Posts

1131

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By mewarmo990
@LutonHatter said:
"

Wasn't my email or image, but so rarely does something make me laugh so loudly:

http://i.imgur.com/IyLm3.png

"
Oh hahahah, I actually laughed out loud at this. Isn't Gabe already an impenetrable safety bubble, though?
Avatar image for gamer_152
gamer_152

15037

Forum Posts

74588

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 71

User Lists: 6

Edited By gamer_152  Moderator

Very much classic Valve humour.

Avatar image for gozertc
GozerTC

503

Forum Posts

103

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 4

User Lists: 6

Edited By GozerTC

*Chuckles*  
 
Another great Valve PR move.  It is interesting to see how differently Valve works than other companies.  I think different is good. :)  
Avatar image for brackynews
Brackynews

4385

Forum Posts

27681

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 5

User Lists: 48

Edited By Brackynews

I am rightfully worried about the Surprise Party Escort Submission Position.

Avatar image for t2t2
t2t2

155

Forum Posts

324

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 4

Edited By t2t2

It got cancelled so TF2 Engineer update would get full attention:
 

Avatar image for digi7als3lf
Digi7alS3lf

96

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 4

Edited By Digi7alS3lf

I just don't get the love for this game. I'm playing it, and having fun. But it's nothing special in my opinion.