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I Played Duke Nukem Forever--Was It All A Dream?

I can't tell if anything is real anymore, but in case I'm actually writing this story right now and am not trapped in some sort of dream prison, Duke Nukem Forever actually exists. And I played it.


 At one point, before we were all born, Duke Nukem Forever looked somethng like this.
 At one point, before we were all born, Duke Nukem Forever looked somethng like this.
Rumors about upcoming video games are always weird to deal with. Even when you hear something and know it to be true, you usually don't know enough of the how's and why's to piece it all together. The Duke Nukem Forever/Gearbox rumors went around for a bit, and earlier this week we had them all but confirmed to us via a series of winks, nods, and knowing glances. But even once I knew that Gearbox was really going to be announcing a Duke Nukem game at PAX, I had no context... and in a tale as long and convoluted as Duke's, context is everything.

We'll look to get that context later on during an interview or two here at the Penny Arcade Expo. But in the meantime, Duke Nukem Forever is a video game, and it's being shown here in playable form via a two-level demo that sets its tone right out of the gate by putting you at a urinal and informing you that the right trigger will, in fact, "piss." Duke's not one to disappoint, so it looks like he'll go for as long as you hold down the trigger. The rest of the bathroom is also a good throwback to the interactivity of Duke Nukem 3D: the soap pump works, the sinks all function, and the mirrors are totally functional... except for the part where they're all horribly cracked.

I can't think of a good enough joke involving Duke and
I can't think of a good enough joke involving Duke and "head" right now, but you get the idea.
This first sequence quickly turns into an updated re-creation of the boss fight at the end of Episode 3 in Duke 3D. After running around some tunnels and locker rooms (where you'll be able to draw on a dry erase board using the left analog stick), you'll head to a football field and fight a large Cycloid boss. He's not especially tough, but it's meant to be a prologue. After kicking the beast's tongue through the uprights, the scene pulls out, revealing that the prologue takes place on a TV in Duke's mansion, and he's playing while receiving oral service from two ladies. Classy.

From there, the demo transitions to something labelled "level 15." It opens with a driving sequence, putting Duke behind the wheel of a monster truck. If you spent any time digging through the different leaks that sprung out in the wake of the game's previous "death," you've probably seen some of this section already. After the truck runs out of gas, Duke hops out and continues on foot. This sequence appears to have been put in to let players try out a variety of weapons, including a rail gun--which seems great for shooting pig cops in their pig cop faces--and the shrink ray, which works as advertised, allowing you to stomp out tiny enemies after you blast them. The classic Duke shotgun also makes an appearance. The shooting is handled console style, with the left trigger used to aim down the sights of the gun and the right to shoot. Though the demo stations were set up with 360 controllers, the game was actually running on PCs.

Or maybe it was all some sort of beautiful dream? The notion of Duke Nukem Forever somehow continuing to be a product that now, perhaps more than ever, looks like it's actually going to be released in stores as a product you can purchase with money is extremely hard to wrap my mind around. But that's the plan. Unless this is the world's most expensive and elaborate prank, Gearbox is working on Duke Nukem Forever right now and is looking to release it in 2011 on PC and consoles.

Always bet on Duke?
Jeff Gerstmann on Google+

360 Comments

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plumeria

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Edited By plumeria

This must be a dream within a dream. 
The fact that this game is coming out after all this time makes that game the bomb no matter what. It can suck and haul ass, but it is still going to rock!

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kmdrkul

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Edited By kmdrkul
@Seraphim84 said:
" @kmdrkul:  The thing is though, is Duke is made through its sense of humor and throwback to the 90s.  If you're looking at this game for new mechanics and a revolutionized genre, you're asking too much of any game.  Even if it's taken a decade to make. "
I think that with such a high concentration of shooters, a games lead character and sense of humor isn't enough to make it do well, or be a good game.  Somebody in this thread mentioned how they don't even get the appeal of Duke Nukem so I'm sure there are others like him.  
 
By all means, I am going to like the game for the nostalgia and humor but I just don't think that would be enough.
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Zlimness

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Edited By Zlimness

Duke Nukem Forever will drag Gearbox down into the void as well, I'm calling it.

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MrChuckles

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Edited By MrChuckles

I still remember playing duke 3d way back when I was too young (10 or 11?) to even understand half the shit that went on in it. Playing through it again (now 18) is a blast on way too many levels. From the sounds of it, its going to be more of what I love with a more modern feel/look. Cannot wait.

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Levio

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Edited By Levio

Sure it's in production again, but for how long?

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ectoplasma

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Edited By ectoplasma

The first time I got excited about this game was 12 years ago. And that is not a joke.

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Arne

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Edited By Arne

Anyone else looking forward to the collectors edition dual layer blu-ray disc "Behind-the-scenes look at the development of Duke Nukem"?

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MetalGearSunny

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Edited By MetalGearSunny

This article is a lie!

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gegnre

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Edited By gegnre

Bet on Duke (esp. a Gearbox Duke) to be overwhelmingly "meh" and filled with too much tom-fuckery to be taken seriously.  
Who knows, maybe it'll be just the right amount, but Half-Life Blue Shift still exist in this world, raging its awfulness against all the ground Borderlands regained for Gearbox.  
We shall see about Duke, we shall see.

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xrolfx

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Edited By xrolfx

So... How did it actually play? Was it fun? 
 
I dunno about DNF anymore. For like 10 years, I believed that it would be awesome (yes, I'm an idiot). Then 3D Realms got all dismantled and I figured 'well, that was that. At least it's over.' 
 
And now it's coming out. I'm confused.

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sketch

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Edited By sketch

Is it true you can only carry 2 guns?

If so, I'm not sure how I feel about that...

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Yummylee

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Edited By Yummylee

Gearbox damn better create something magical...something pure...something GORY! with DNF.

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MrKlorox

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Edited By MrKlorox

Totally sounds like Duke Nukem to me. I guess that's a good thing.

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dvorak

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Edited By dvorak

This sounds like exactly the game that people would want in a modern Duke game.

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august

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Edited By august
@Jeff said:
" @louiedog: I believe it's PC, PlayStation, Saturn, and Game Boy Color. "
So did Pitchford take you behind closed doors and show you an early build of Shadow Warrior 2? It's cool you can tell us.
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McRibs

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Edited By McRibs

I think this game will meet my expectations, being that I have absolutely none.

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ectoplasma

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Edited By ectoplasma
@Arne said:
" Anyone else looking forward to the collectors edition dual layer blu-ray disc "Behind-the-scenes look at the development of Duke Nukem"? "
LOL!
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DBagalot

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Edited By DBagalot
@crusader8463 said:
" Can't wait to play this game, and all the people pissing and moaning about it can go fuck themselves. Every shooter in this day and age is exactly the same as all the other ones, the only difference is what gets wrapped around it, and the Duke-A-Verse is one hell of an interesting one to play in.   The only thing I'm worried about is gearbox's involvement. After them butchering the PC version of Borderlands I have zero faith in them as a company and a development house to create a quality product. I'm hoping that we won't get a repeat with this game, because I love the Duke character and I don't want to see them ruin a game I was looking forward. "
Word.
So since this is all a dream, im guessing half life 2: episode 3 will be announced next month?
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coolfurby

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Edited By coolfurby

interesting

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walreese55

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Edited By walreese55

I fear this will be like the release of Chinese Democracy; so much time has passed by that no one gives a shit anymore

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BraveFart

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Edited By BraveFart

"and he's playing while receiving oral service from two ladies. Classy."
 
hahahaha :D

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Death_Burnout

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Edited By Death_Burnout

Balllls of steeeel. I am still very very happy about this.

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MajorToms

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Edited By MajorToms

It's finally time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. We're all full on bubblegum pop. Let's chew this shit up.

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vik212121

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Edited By vik212121

I am buying this, as long as its playable !
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jonnyboy

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Edited By jonnyboy

You didn't Bet on Duke Jeff. Frankly that's ill-advised.

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MisterMouse

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Edited By MisterMouse

wow that is crazy that it is coming out, but that is cool the gearbox  guys picked it up and are working on it. Also hopefully when it comes out it, it will not feel like a couple years old.

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Tordah

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Edited By Tordah

My mind is blown once again. I can't comprehend this news. 
 
I refuse to believe that this game exists until I see it on the store shelves.

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cornbredx

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Edited By cornbredx

As much as I hate George Broussard for ultimately taking away Duke and basically making him live in development hell for so long taking him out of mainstream conscience and therefore falling away as only a nostalgic dream, I am still going to buy this game.  
 
For good or bad, I feel basically it is my duty to play it. I may regret the purchase, I may not- all I know is if this game is really released it is my responsibility as a long time Duke Nukem fan to own this game. 
 
That being said I am not getting my hopes up. They have shown playable demos of this game several times and only difference now is a working development team has been given the reigns. I guess I dont have to worry as much, and I do think Gearbox can at least finish the game (if not fix any problems with it), I do however expect a jumbled mess of insanity from this game. I have to say, im kinda looking forward to that. So long as its runnable.
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Edited By Teaspoon83

I kinda hope that Gearbox can make something decent out of it. Great record in the past and the humor they had in Borderlands could sort of work for Duke. 
 
Now, the whole oral service part. I'm slightly uncomfortable with it being in the game. Nothing may be shown but it is suggested and even though all the previous games had breasts and strippers, this is weird. Even though the game's character about T&A, I just don't see it necessary.

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Greenshoes

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Edited By Greenshoes

I guess its one of those games I have to buy, not necicerily to play, just to own.

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pwnasaurus

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Edited By pwnasaurus

wait who should i bet on without a doubt even when the odds are ridiculous who should I bet on?

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warmonked

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Edited By warmonked
@Teaspoon83 said:
" I kinda hope that Gearbox can make something decent out of it. Great record in the past and the humor they had in Borderlands could sort of work for Duke.  Now, the whole oral service part. I'm slightly uncomfortable with it being in the game. Nothing may be shown but it is suggested and even though all the previous games had breasts and strippers, this is weird. Even though the game's character about T&A, I just don't see it necessary. "
I kinda agree. It seems like their doing it to be outrageous and shock people. Duke was dirty but never blatant like that (at leas that's what I remember).
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Krataur

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Edited By Krataur
@brainboy77: I hope so.  Even if no one else cared about Chinese Democracy, I loved the album.  If it's the same story with DNF, that's just fine with me.
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OmegaPirate

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Edited By OmegaPirate
@crusader8463 said:
" Can't wait to play this game, and all the people pissing and moaning about it can go fuck themselves. Every shooter in this day and age is exactly the same as all the other ones, the only difference is what gets wrapped around it, and the Duke-A-Verse is one hell of an interesting one to play in.   The only thing I'm worried about is gearbox's involvement. After them butchering the PC version of Borderlands I have zero faith in them as a company and a development house to create a quality product. I'm hoping that we won't get a repeat with this game, because I love the Duke character and I don't want to see them ruin a game I was looking forward. "
This x 1 million 
So many people bitching about it being irrelevant and nobody caring anymore, you all could not be more wrong! 
 
Im not going to do the standard thing of inserting a duke quote to end the post, but just damn well know that this game, if not as amazing mechanically as a 'modern shooter' will be far more memorable and fun than using an m4 to shoot yet another rag on head terrorist in unspecifiedistan. 
For that reason alone, twinned with being one of the people that was betting on duke when this was announced and i was a lad of 11 - this is a day one purchase. 
And the millions of others who do the same whether through morbid curiosity or through love of the duke will have these "Game is so lower class we've moved beyond it and no one cares herpaderp" thinkers proven wrong!
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PjotrLeschenko

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Edited By PjotrLeschenko
@jeff said:

 variety of wepaons

Sorry  if somebody already pointed that out, but I understand that Duke makes you all fuzzy and mistakes can happen
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goodwood

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Edited By goodwood

Was it all a dream,   I used to read Word Up magazine,   Salt n pepa and Heavy D up in the limozine.

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WrathOfBanja

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Edited By WrathOfBanja

I don't believe you Jeff...

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goulash_enjoyer

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Edited By goulash_enjoyer

Shooting pig cops in their pig cop faces. SOLD.
 
 
I secretly hope it never gets released and remains as mythical as any cryptid.

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Daveyo520

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Edited By Daveyo520

This is just crazy.

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dcfox

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Edited By dcfox

Any indication what percentage of the game is new Gearbox stuff and what is old 3D Realm stuff?

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fisk0

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Edited By fisk0  Moderator
@warmonked said:

" @Teaspoon83 said:

" I kinda hope that Gearbox can make something decent out of it. Great record in the past and the humor they had in Borderlands could sort of work for Duke.  Now, the whole oral service part. I'm slightly uncomfortable with it being in the game. Nothing may be shown but it is suggested and even though all the previous games had breasts and strippers, this is weird. Even though the game's character about T&A, I just don't see it necessary. "
I kinda agree. It seems like their doing it to be outrageous and shock people. Duke was dirty but never blatant like that (at leas that's what I remember). "

Duke was rather blatant, maybe not in the first Duke Nukem 3D (and of course, not at all in the first two sidescrolling platformers), but in the expansions and the spin-off titles. That might be explained by that  it was other developers that did them, I'm not sure.

Life's a beach and Manhattan Project were really blatant, to the point that I barely felt like playing them.

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kollay

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Edited By kollay

 

 
  Let's take a walk down memory lane...
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Ouroboros

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Edited By Ouroboros

I guess my 5 dollar preorder at Eb Games is still good!

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erinfizz

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Edited By erinfizz

Wow, I really had no idea that Duke Nukem was the antithesis of what I want in a video game.

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Jimbo

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Edited By Jimbo

If they release this in a dead spot next year it could do ok.  If they release it up against any real games it will probably get crushed.

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eqaddictedfool

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Edited By eqaddictedfool

think anyone will do a midnight launch? I am so in!
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Gregomasta

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Edited By Gregomasta

Oral service, good times.

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Gregomasta

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Edited By Gregomasta

Also, Cool.

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fisk0

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Edited By fisk0  Moderator

What I'm most afraid of right now, when we're the closest to actually getting the game than we've ever been before, is that we might just have waited 13 years for another Daikatana.