Something went wrong. Try again later

Giant Bomb News

262 Comments

This Is A Poor Excuse For A Halo: Reach Preview

Someone named Jeff doesn't like to carry a notebook.

No Caption Provided
So here's something you might not know about me. I typically don't take notes while reviewing games. The usual exceptions would be, like, if a specific line of dialogue jumps out at me and I want to make sure that I'm quoting it correctly or something like that. But I tend to go with the "if I can't remember it, chances are it doesn't necessarily make enough of an impact to be a point in the review" approach. It's served me pretty well over the years. In fact, the only times when this approach does me wrong is in cases like the one I'm currently facing.

I played Halo: Reach today. Before doing so, I signed a big ol' non-disclosure agreement, which covers things like not spoiling the story twists and not using footage of specific areas, and so on. It's nothing fancy and it comes with the territory. Some folks are quick to jump at moments like this as if it's some sort of shady dealing, but it's a standard part of doing business. When companies give you early access to their marquee releases, they want some legal backup to keep you from going hog-wild and posting video of the entire game online or something, and the agreements never encroach on a reviewer's ability to do his or her job. At least, none of the ones I've signed have been that way.

But that's beside the point. The difference with today's play session and subsequent legal agreement is that there are a couple of levels in the Halo: Reach campaign that I can freely talk about right now. Right this second, I could be typing it up instead of writing this nonsense. That is... if I could remember what those two levels entailed.

== TEASER ==It's tempting to go and find some other outlet's writeup of the two levels and skim them, if only to get a quick refresher course. But that'd be cheating! Gah, but it'd probably only take a sentence like "and then Noble Six cracks a dude in the skull on a bridge" to jog my memory. Wait... maybe I can't talk about the skull cracking or the bridge.

I guess it speaks to the different mentalities of the previewer versus the reviewer. I'm interested in taking the entire game in as a whole when I'm working on a review. Don't take this as me saying "most parts of a game aren't important" or anything like that. The individual moments are important when they're happening, but they're quickly culled down to a general feeling along with a few specific sequences to support points made in the text or accompanying video. Usually, by the time I've finished playing a game, many of my thoughts are organized well enough to begin writing almost immediately, though some games require a bit more thought for one reason or another.

Man, I should have just taken some effting notes instead of being all high and mighty, like I'm mister "bringing a notepad just slows me down." So here are a couple of things I can say about these two levels--whichever two they actually are--in Halo: Reach.

  • Spartans have cool armor.
  • I still enjoy the guns-followed-by-melee approach that has served the Halo series so well for all these years.
  • The armor abilities make for an interesting addition to the standard Halo gameplay... in these two levels, of course.
  • I should really go play those two levels again and take notes instead of being a total jackass.

As an aside, I threw up the following post on Twitter before starting on this little not-write-up:

NOTE: TAKE THE ABOVE AT FACE VALUE 
NOTE: TAKE THE ABOVE AT FACE VALUE 
That was immediately met with people trying to find hidden meaning in the message, as if this was some sly missive with loads to say about the quality of the Reach campaign. I swear, sometimes I think you guys at home are getting just as big on the misquotes and the art of the "scandalous" headline as some games writers are. Gross! Not everything has a double meaning. Sometimes my inability to parse and store level names is just my inability to parse and store level names, OK? 
 
Wait! One is the sort of... stealthy mission, and the other opens with all those Warthogs going balls out, right? Jeez, hope I'm right...
Jeff Gerstmann on Google+

262 Comments

Avatar image for easypeasey
EasyPeasey

160

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By EasyPeasey

Hahahahahha this is why i love this website. I appreciate the honesty.

Avatar image for goodkn1ght
GoodKn1ght

522

Forum Posts

45

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By GoodKn1ght
@twosided said:
" Well it seems that Reach is in fact a Halo game.  The fact that nothing else about it stands out is a little disappointing, but I suppose not surprising.  Iterative sequels put money in the bank - I guess we should be thankful if one or two a year end up breaking new ground. "
That is not at all what he is saying....he is saying that he can't remember the which two levels are the ones he could talk about, like they said you can only talk about level c and level e but he doesn't remember which one of those levels they were because he wasn't paying attention to the names....your right though it probably plays like halo, because it is halo, thats how halo is. I'm just saying read a bit more carefully.
Avatar image for nytrik
Nytrik

171

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By Nytrik

I like the written form of your distress. It pleases me greatly. 

Avatar image for selbie
selbie

2602

Forum Posts

6468

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By selbie

The name always makes me think of a new line of toothbrushes :S
 http://www.reachbrand.com/

Avatar image for dragon_puncher
Dragon_Puncher

692

Forum Posts

15

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 6

Edited By Dragon_Puncher

That was great. Thanks Jeff, oddly enough I don't feel like a need to read another Halo: Reach preview now.. 
  
Must have been that serious information blow-out going on here.     

Avatar image for coombs
Coombs

3509

Forum Posts

587

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 5

Edited By Coombs

Honestly, This is almost all I need in a preview that doesn't have any video. 
The only thing you left out were the words " I ____ it." (Enjoyed, Hated, Was Bored With...) 
 
If you can't give away alot of info just give me your opinion, I enjoyed the read,  
But couldn't tell if you liked the game or just felt like it is what it is and not much more.

Avatar image for devwil
DevWil

976

Forum Posts

8022

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 11

User Lists: 7

Edited By DevWil

serious question:  why post this instead of just not posting anything? 
 
i have no investment in getting coverage of this game, just legitimately curious.

Avatar image for chris2klee
Chris2KLee

2402

Forum Posts

1090

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 6

User Lists: 13

Edited By Chris2KLee

Should have bought "My Notebook: Carbon". Would have solved your note problem.

Avatar image for dystopiax
DystopiaX

5776

Forum Posts

416

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

Edited By DystopiaX
@Coombs said:
" Honestly, This is almost all I need in a preview that doesn't have any video. The only thing you left out were the words " I ____ it." (Enjoyed, Hated, Was Bored With...)  If you can't give away alot of info just give me your opinion, I enjoyed the read,  But couldn't tell if you liked the game or just felt like it is what it is and not much more. "
Well seeing as his second bullet point was "I enjoy the guns followed by melee approach", substitute "it" for everything past the second word and you can conclude that Jeff feels that: 
a. This still feels like Halo (since he's mentioning the approach of previous games) 
b. He enjoyed it. 
 
Sorry if I came out as patronizing, it's late and I was taught to patronize in explanatory essays from an early age. No offense was intended.
Avatar image for green_incarnate
Green_Incarnate

1789

Forum Posts

124

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 7

Edited By Green_Incarnate

No biggie. The beta already convinced me to buy this game. I should just experience the campaign for myself.

Avatar image for 02sfraser
02sfraser

855

Forum Posts

43

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By 02sfraser

I read that tweet and had a wee chuckle. I just thought the game didn't make a big impression on you. Guess the moral of the story is stay away from Jeff Gerstmann previews

Avatar image for rjpelonia
rjpelonia

927

Forum Posts

18046

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

Edited By rjpelonia

This is my favorite Halo write-up ever.

Avatar image for papercut
papercut

4200

Forum Posts

10068

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 9

Edited By papercut

Oh Jeff.

Avatar image for flyingrat
FlyingRat

1454

Forum Posts

52

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 6

Edited By FlyingRat
@DevWil said:
" serious question:  why post this instead of just not posting anything?  i have no investment in getting coverage of this game, just legitimately curious. "
Because it's Giant Bomb.com
Avatar image for kajaah117
Kajaah117

1073

Forum Posts

18

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

Edited By Kajaah117
@Chris2KLee said:
" Should have bought "My Notebook: Carbon". Would have solved your note problem. "
He's holding out for "My Notebook: Shift."  
 
They'll never recapture the charm of "My Notebook: Most Wanted" though.
Avatar image for phatseejay
PhatSeeJay

3331

Forum Posts

9727

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 5

User Lists: 17

Edited By PhatSeeJay
@LunarAura:  I'm quite certain, in this case, that Jeff played the game at their studio so I'm pretty sure that doesn't matter here. But if you sign an NDA to bring a product with you home you get a certain responsibility to uphold it, even if it means threatening your homie with certain death if he sees something he shouldn't. The dude hasn't signed that agreement, but you have so if they trace a leak of information online back to him and then you, then it's you that burn regardless.
Avatar image for g0rd0nfr33m4n
G0rd0nFr33m4n

826

Forum Posts

2263

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 12

User Lists: 18

Edited By G0rd0nFr33m4n
@DevWil said:
" serious question:  why post this instead of just not posting anything?  i have no investment in getting coverage of this game, just legitimately curious. "
He probably posted this because everyone was like "OMG Jeff hated the new Halo GAMEZ" followed by a stoned "WAAAAA" and Jeff just wanted to be clear. 
Avatar image for jjweatherman
JJWeatherman

15144

Forum Posts

5249

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 10

User Lists: 18

Edited By JJWeatherman

Interesting article Jeff. Stuffed to the rafters with interesting facts about Reach.  :P

Avatar image for xeiphyer
Xeiphyer

5962

Forum Posts

1193

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 8

Edited By Xeiphyer
@G0rd0nFr33m4n said:
" @DevWil said:
" serious question:  why post this instead of just not posting anything?  i have no investment in getting coverage of this game, just legitimately curious. "
He probably posted this because everyone was like "OMG Jeff hated the new Halo GAMEZ" followed by a stoned "WAAAAA" and Jeff just wanted to be clear.  "
Plus people are wondering where the coverage for the game is since other sites have posted some stuff about it.
 
Its much better to tell somebody why something isn't there instead of just not telling them anything and leaving them in the dark. Jeff is just taking responsibility for sucking at having a memory.
Avatar image for karatekid
KarateKid

67

Forum Posts

3

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By KarateKid

I don't care one bit about halo: reach. But this article was still entertaining to read, which is why I love giantbomb.

Avatar image for foggel
foggel

2780

Forum Posts

531

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By foggel

Obviously this means that the game is boring. Obviously.

Avatar image for mau64
mau64

586

Forum Posts

10

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 4

User Lists: 3

Edited By mau64

It's a halo game, it will be fun i'm sure.

Avatar image for hilbert
Hilbert

347

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By Hilbert

Wait.. Is this a test?
Avatar image for mrxd
MrXD

267

Forum Posts

33565

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 16

Edited By MrXD

All the matter is to me that I just play the game and nothing else

Avatar image for jimbo
Jimbo

10472

Forum Posts

2

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

Edited By Jimbo

You've effectively built a mini-game into your job.  Respect.  This is just another reason why life needs quick saves.

Avatar image for pisk
pisk

80

Forum Posts

6

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

Edited By pisk
@Xeiphyer said:

" @G0rd0nFr33m4n said:

" @DevWil said:
" serious question:  why post this instead of just not posting anything?  i have no investment in getting coverage of this game, just legitimately curious. "
He probably posted this because everyone was like "OMG Jeff hated the new Halo GAMEZ" followed by a stoned "WAAAAA" and Jeff just wanted to be clear.  "
Plus people are wondering where the coverage for the game is since other sites have posted some stuff about it.  Its much better to tell somebody why something isn't there instead of just not telling them anything and leaving them in the dark. Jeff is just taking responsibility for sucking at having a memory. "
Also people already knew that he will be playing the game from the hint from I Love Mondays.
 
I actually don't like reading previews on games I know I will play, but the headline grabed my attention and I started reading with intend to stop when he starts describing the game. Never stopped.  I miss this kind of personal writing now when most of the news are written by interns.
Avatar image for soap
Soap

3774

Forum Posts

1811

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 9

User Lists: 29

Edited By Soap

Love it, at this point this is almost perfect Halo coverage.

Avatar image for smokepants
smokepants

286

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By smokepants

I'm here for the personalities, not the reviews/previews. I think Jeff in particular tends to overestimate or underestimate games more than he hands out fair assessments.

Avatar image for machofantastico
MachoFantastico

6762

Forum Posts

24

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 73

User Lists: 4

Edited By MachoFantastico

While I do occasionally appreciate previews, I usually don't care so I wouldn't worry about it Jeff.  
 
Plus seriously, does Halo: Reach need a preview? We know it's fecking Halo. 

Avatar image for scratch
Scratch

647

Forum Posts

2520

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 8

Edited By Scratch

Well atleast you're being honest about it.

Avatar image for cletusthefoetus
CletusTheFoetus

149

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By CletusTheFoetus

thats it. i'm not going to buy halo rea....no wait I am.

Avatar image for m0nty
m0nty

173

Forum Posts

92

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 4

Edited By m0nty

My interest in Halo Reach just piqued.  I expect it's all downhill from this point.

Avatar image for xrolfx
xrolfx

122

Forum Posts

7

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By xrolfx

This preview completely unsold me on Halo: Reach. Not gonna get it anymore. 
 
 
 
Ok, I'm kidding, I don't give a fuck about this game anyway.

Avatar image for grissefar
Grissefar

2904

Forum Posts

384

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By Grissefar

It's no problem, Jeff :) Written previews are generally uninteresting anyways - maybe because of the legal handcuffs. This article was more interesting.
 
I hope you keep on not taking notes, for reviews at least since it reflects how 100% of consumers play a game. Remembering the stuff not worth remembering would only lead to higher-than-deserved review scores.

Avatar image for dasoul
DaSoul

238

Forum Posts

34

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 1

Edited By DaSoul

Halo:Reach-Farm Simulator 2011:Cowz all up in your futures edition vol. 2 collectors edition,featuring the GiantBomb crew as preorder bonuses includes a free Halo:Reach patented can of urine.
 
So um yeah,GOTY 2010. But not really.

Avatar image for taliciadragonsong
TaliciaDragonsong

8734

Forum Posts

2

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 8

This is why I come to Giantbomb xD
I mean multiple sites have had this preview time and I could read the same story 5 times all over the web.
But this is just gold xD

Avatar image for demonstride
Demonstride

876

Forum Posts

5

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

Edited By Demonstride

Greatest article ever, I've already read the preview on Joystiq so I don't care if Jeff doesn't remember, but this is amazing.

Avatar image for blueblur1
Blueblur1

352

Forum Posts

3580

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By Blueblur1

Classic Jeff. LOL
 
I'm sure you'll take notes when you get back to the San Francisco review event today, Jeff. ;)

Avatar image for ptys
ptys

2290

Forum Posts

3

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

Edited By ptys

First "thing" I've read in a while on GB, need to do it more. Really getting excited about Reach, will be my first play-on-release Halo. Have no idea about the story, Halo Legends is a good appetiser to get the excitement level up if you haven't seen it.

Avatar image for c1337us
c1337us

5877

Forum Posts

56

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By c1337us
@Jeff said:
" @Nyro said:
" Halo "
Thank you for your insightful contribution. "
Almost as insightful as the preview. Almost.
Avatar image for verge
Verge

52

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By Verge

 This is why its nice to be your own boss. Imagine sending a guy to preview one of the hottest games of the season and he returns slightly confused, muttering things about not being able to remember. :) Thankfully I have a great appreciation for honest. I prefer this than a half assed preview and it reaffirms my trust in the site. Jeff have you considered investing in a dictaphone? Might be useful, faster than writing. Plus it looks cool.

Avatar image for jbird
JBird

588

Forum Posts

25

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By JBird

ha ha brilliant preview! normally i get the feeling with other game sites that previews are jam packed full of positives its as if they are scared to judge a game before release. This is the most down to earth thing ive read in ages! "probably good, can't remember" nice one jeff!
Avatar image for fontan
Fontan

319

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By Fontan
@Jeff said:
" @Nyro said:
" Halo "
Thank you for your insightful contribution. "

Touché.
Avatar image for professoress
ProfessorEss

7962

Forum Posts

160

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 11

Edited By ProfessorEss
@c1337us said:
" @Jeff said:
" @Nyro said:
" Halo "
Thank you for your insightful contribution. "
Almost as insightful as the preview. Almost. "
Haha, well played.
 
Funny reading all around.
Avatar image for blacklab
blacklab

2025

Forum Posts

22

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By blacklab

Sounds like he had fun. Works for me.

Avatar image for gbrading
gbrading

3317

Forum Posts

10581

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 34

User Lists: 5

Edited By gbrading

Jeff, I am shocked. Not taking notes? Not writing in shorthand? Not having a dictaphone at the ready? I have a feeling that stuff is covered in Games Journalism 101. I am shocked I tell you. :P 
 
Still, well done for admitting the truth. We forgive you. :)
Avatar image for hockeymask27
hockeymask27

3704

Forum Posts

794

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 0

Edited By hockeymask27
@Scratch said:
" Well atleast you're being honest about it. "


Avatar image for damodar
damodar

2252

Forum Posts

1248

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By damodar

Sometimes Jeff's  inability to parse and store level names is just a cigar... wait...

Avatar image for dingofighter
Dingofighter

1888

Forum Posts

251

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

Edited By Dingofighter

I want to play Halo: Reach now, awesome preview Jeff! 
But seriously, memory leaks are never good...

Avatar image for jack_daniels
jack_daniels

1619

Forum Posts

281

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By jack_daniels

Adderall!