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This Is A Poor Excuse For A Halo: Reach Preview

Someone named Jeff doesn't like to carry a notebook.

No Caption Provided
So here's something you might not know about me. I typically don't take notes while reviewing games. The usual exceptions would be, like, if a specific line of dialogue jumps out at me and I want to make sure that I'm quoting it correctly or something like that. But I tend to go with the "if I can't remember it, chances are it doesn't necessarily make enough of an impact to be a point in the review" approach. It's served me pretty well over the years. In fact, the only times when this approach does me wrong is in cases like the one I'm currently facing.

I played Halo: Reach today. Before doing so, I signed a big ol' non-disclosure agreement, which covers things like not spoiling the story twists and not using footage of specific areas, and so on. It's nothing fancy and it comes with the territory. Some folks are quick to jump at moments like this as if it's some sort of shady dealing, but it's a standard part of doing business. When companies give you early access to their marquee releases, they want some legal backup to keep you from going hog-wild and posting video of the entire game online or something, and the agreements never encroach on a reviewer's ability to do his or her job. At least, none of the ones I've signed have been that way.

But that's beside the point. The difference with today's play session and subsequent legal agreement is that there are a couple of levels in the Halo: Reach campaign that I can freely talk about right now. Right this second, I could be typing it up instead of writing this nonsense. That is... if I could remember what those two levels entailed.

== TEASER ==It's tempting to go and find some other outlet's writeup of the two levels and skim them, if only to get a quick refresher course. But that'd be cheating! Gah, but it'd probably only take a sentence like "and then Noble Six cracks a dude in the skull on a bridge" to jog my memory. Wait... maybe I can't talk about the skull cracking or the bridge.

I guess it speaks to the different mentalities of the previewer versus the reviewer. I'm interested in taking the entire game in as a whole when I'm working on a review. Don't take this as me saying "most parts of a game aren't important" or anything like that. The individual moments are important when they're happening, but they're quickly culled down to a general feeling along with a few specific sequences to support points made in the text or accompanying video. Usually, by the time I've finished playing a game, many of my thoughts are organized well enough to begin writing almost immediately, though some games require a bit more thought for one reason or another.

Man, I should have just taken some effting notes instead of being all high and mighty, like I'm mister "bringing a notepad just slows me down." So here are a couple of things I can say about these two levels--whichever two they actually are--in Halo: Reach.

  • Spartans have cool armor.
  • I still enjoy the guns-followed-by-melee approach that has served the Halo series so well for all these years.
  • The armor abilities make for an interesting addition to the standard Halo gameplay... in these two levels, of course.
  • I should really go play those two levels again and take notes instead of being a total jackass.

As an aside, I threw up the following post on Twitter before starting on this little not-write-up:

NOTE: TAKE THE ABOVE AT FACE VALUE 
NOTE: TAKE THE ABOVE AT FACE VALUE 
That was immediately met with people trying to find hidden meaning in the message, as if this was some sly missive with loads to say about the quality of the Reach campaign. I swear, sometimes I think you guys at home are getting just as big on the misquotes and the art of the "scandalous" headline as some games writers are. Gross! Not everything has a double meaning. Sometimes my inability to parse and store level names is just my inability to parse and store level names, OK? 
 
Wait! One is the sort of... stealthy mission, and the other opens with all those Warthogs going balls out, right? Jeez, hope I'm right...
Jeff Gerstmann on Google+

262 Comments

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Aelric

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Edited By Aelric

Should have gotten 'My Notepad: Carbon'

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jorbear

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Edited By jorbear
@Aelric said:
" Should have gotten 'My Notepad: Carbon' "
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Zereta

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Edited By Zereta

Somehow this is the best preview yet and I learnt nothing about the game

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jagenheim

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Edited By jagenheim

And again I'm reminded why I love Giant Bomb over all the other gaming sites.  

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TigerDX

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Edited By TigerDX

I'm with you on not taking notes.
 
It's probably gotten me into trouble a couple of times, but it has likely afforded me just as much benefit in terms of concentration on the matter at hand.

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grhmhmltn

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Edited By grhmhmltn

Dude a lot of people in these comments have said they're absolutely going to buy this game. I'd say that's an effective preview!

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EpicReflex

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Edited By EpicReflex

Already pre-ordered.

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TenStoryMother

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Edited By TenStoryMother

I like your post better than a synopsis of the two aforementioned, or where they aforementioned, levels.  I don't want to be spoiled on the game's plot, although I've already read the book and should probably stop reading articles with the words "Halo" and "Reach" in them posted on the internet.  Anyways, good job on the preview and keep doing what you're doing - even if you can't seem to remember what you're actually doing.
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buzz_killington

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Edited By buzz_killington

Question: Why would they show you more levels and ask you to only talk about a few of them? 
Answer: To get a new preview every other week leading up to the release without having separate events. That's the problem, not Jeff taking notes.

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teh_destroyer

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Edited By teh_destroyer

I like this type of blog feeling preview of a game, make more please :).

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Hamst3r

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Edited By Hamst3r

Totally Halo: Totally Reach.

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SpacePenguin

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Edited By SpacePenguin
@jagenheim said:
" And again I'm reminded why I love Giant Bomb over all the other gaming sites.   "
Thats exactly what I was thinking.
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Djeffers03

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Edited By Djeffers03

People have already made their minds up about this game. Previews really aren't necessary, especially seeing as everyone knows what to expect from the game already. That said I still want to see a campaign Quick Look and a Video Review to wet my appetite. Keep up the good work.

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ModeratelySizedBomb

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sjupp

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Edited By sjupp
@SpacePenguin said:
" @jagenheim said:
" And again I'm reminded why I love Giant Bomb over all the other gaming sites.   "
Thats exactly what I was thinking. "
Spot on.
 
@Hamst3r said:
" Totally Halo: Totally Reach. "
Hype?
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FlyingRat

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Edited By FlyingRat
@Red12b said:
  Because you've played the game right? You wouldn't say this unless you've played the game, how else would you know?! I bet you don't make assumptions, you wouldn't do that would you, Nope never! "
Just wanted to check, you know he was making a joke right....? As in the fallof reach?
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Dylabaloo

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Edited By Dylabaloo

 Kinda disappointing seeing as its one of my favorite series but I sometimes games just don't click for certain people. I know my life will be destroyed when sept.14 hits.  P.s Should have got My Notebook Blue, looks like it got the last laugh.    

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bcjohnnie

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Edited By bcjohnnie

I do like Jeff's honesty here.  Honestly, a preview of this game, from what I've seen, should probably just say "This is a Halo-ass Halo game".
 
But come on Jeff, you have to admit that post on Twitter does seem like you're saying that those levels were nothing special, or particularly un-memorable.  I don't think you need to be a hater or a controversy-baiter to pull that meaning out.
 
I don't need any Halo coverage as long as we get an HKO endurance run.

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mikemcn

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Edited By mikemcn
@bcjohnnie said:
" I do like Jeff's honesty here.  Honestly, a preview of this game, from what I've seen, should probably just say "This is a Halo-ass Halo game".  But come on Jeff, you have to admit that post on Twitter does seem like you're saying that those levels were nothing special, or particularly un-memorable.  I don't think you need to be a hater or a controversy-baiter to pull that meaning out.  I don't need any Halo coverage as long as we get an HKO endurance run. "
I think he meant to imply that he understood why people took it the wrong way. its all interpretation though.
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Azteck

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Edited By Azteck
@Razputin said:
" Hidden meaning: those two levels were nothing special. Weee! "
Or he couldn't remember them because he so so many things? Nice to know that you know how to jump to conclusions.
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capthavic

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Edited By capthavic

If I had to write a preview/review for Reach it would simply be:
 
"It's Halo. If you like Halo then you'll like this game. If you don't, then it won't change your mind"  
 
I know that's pretty simple but I think it's an honest summation of the game.

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pepper_2000

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Edited By pepper_2000

It would be great if this game kicked ass. It seems like the first time Bungie has really messed a lot with the formula since Halo 2 with the regenerating shields.

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caseylakes

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Edited By caseylakes

Oh Jeff, I had to go to another website to read about it. I feel dirty. Let this be a lesson to y'all. From what I have read thou, it is "mind-blowing" so I can understand if you don't remember anything.

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Red12b

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Edited By Red12b
@FlyingRat said:
" @Red12b said:
  Because you've played the game right? You wouldn't say this unless you've played the game, how else would you know?! I bet you don't make assumptions, you wouldn't do that would you, Nope never! "
Just wanted to check, you know he was making a joke right....? As in the fallof reach? "
... 
 
 
... 
 
 
Just read it over, I read it as fails, I hate when people make assumptions of a product before it's out,  
 
Goddamnit, 
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MeatSim

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Edited By MeatSim

I don't think you really need a preview I bet Halo still plays like Halo.

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deactivated-5b65b74e68e3e

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It's called age and it sucks. Forget the notepad, use a recorder.

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PJ

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Edited By PJ
@capthavic said:
" If I had to write a preview/review for Reach it would simply be: "It's Halo. If you like Halo then you'll like this game. If you don't, then it won't change your mind"    I know that's pretty simple but I think it's an honest summation of the game. "
What if Reach will change the mind of haters? 
Even though I'm a guy who only plays the campaign and a few matches online(never played more then 10 matches in a single Halo game), I can see that they have done some changes that COULD change the way you play the game significantly. 
 
What I'm saying is that even though its a game in a long running series you should never judge an upcoming game based on the previous one. If that would be the case then Final Fantasy XIII would actually be a good game instead of the horrible piece of... well you get my point.
 
Franky, this is the first time I'm really excited about a Halo game. I played every Halo game but never been all psycho about it. The games are good but nothing I look forward to, except for this one.
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sizu

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Edited By sizu

Personally I would rather wait for Jeff's thoughts than read some cookie cutter preview on one of the numerous blogs out there. 
 
This is what I like about GB...honesty.  It would have been easy for Jeff to follow suit and re-write a blog's article in his style.  

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Jeffsekai

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Edited By Jeffsekai

It's all good bro.

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Colonel_Fury

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Edited By Colonel_Fury

When I read: "Spartans have cool armor" I knew this was the game for me.

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DarthB

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Edited By DarthB

love this so-called preview.  hope to read more rambling about reach in the future.  better have a halo reach tnt on sept 16th!!

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nickux

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Edited By nickux

Does this reflect the general feelings of a lot of gamers? I mean, are people excited about Reach? I'm sure a lot of us are so I'm genuinely asking (not assuming) if people are less excited for this as they were, say, for Halo 3. 

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poser

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Edited By poser

Halo is still a thing?

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meteora

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Edited By meteora

Ohhhh Jeff. -_-;; I appreciate the honesty.

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Edited By mattbodega

Another Giant Bomb article based on wild speculation, rumor, and half-remembered "things." Remember when Giant Bomb used to post only the meaningful and important articles? Now they're just like everyone else, posting "news" stories that have barely any news at all.
 
When is the GB crew going to get its act together and drop punk stringers like Jeff that are ruining the site?!

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Hashbrowns

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Edited By Hashbrowns

Was remembering details from Reach beyond Jeff's grasp?  Get it?  Reach...grasp... um... 
 
Anyway, why isn't it the 14th of September yet?
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bacongames

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Edited By bacongames

Oh man, this was amazingly hilarious.  Jeff coming out (as Jeff is want to do) and saying "you know I'd totally remember to write about those two levels I'm allowed to talk about...if I didn't forget them because I forgot to take notes :P".
 
Reality can be charming and funny.  This is one of those times.

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milpool

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Edited By milpool

This was so much more interesting than reading an article about Halo: Reach. 

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fjordson

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Edited By fjordson

Pretty interesting, I didn't know Jeff did his reviews solely based on memory. Impressive. To be honest, I don't think an in-depth preview here is necessary for Halo. There's way too much in Reach to cover in one article: campaign, the new matchmaking for campaign co-op, firefight with matchmaking, the new firefight versus, Forge World, the new game types for multiplayer, the Arena, the new armory and customization options, the new armor abilities, etc.
 
Previewing the campaign in depth would be fine, but it really is only a fraction of the package that Halo: Reach will be. I can't bloody wait.

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Yossarian

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Edited By Yossarian

Refreshing honesty is refreshing.

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calza

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Edited By calza

I really need to pre-order this

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Jackel2072

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Edited By Jackel2072

damn, i should buy this game for my girlfriend. maybe it will make her forget stuff too. 

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chewii101

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Edited By chewii101

Fuggadaboutit!

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MarkWahlberg

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Edited By MarkWahlberg

Maybe you should just stop being so damn drunk all the time, Gerstmann. Everybody knows about it; all the other press guys are like 'oh great, Gerstmann's here, now we have to listen to his impersonations of french game journalists instead of actually doing our freakin jobs'. Nobody wants to invite you to their press conferences anymore, but they do it anyway because they feel sorry for you. Seek help, sir.

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His_lane

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Edited By His_lane

I live on taking notes because my memory isn't that great. Jeff, just pull the trigger on myNotebook: Carbon. It comes with 128 pages!

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MisterMouse

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Edited By MisterMouse

Haha good article, and I guess hey, Jeff is human like the rest of us?!

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Karmann

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Edited By Karmann

Reach to me just sounds like "more Halo", to which I say, meh.

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twelve1784

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Edited By twelve1784

I'm a huge fan of the transparency and no-BS attitude of Giant Bomb and this honest post is a thousand times better, and more amusing, than if the preview was half-assed or stolen just to save face.  If posts like this were common, or even happened more than this one time, then maybe it would be worrisome.
 
I also want to know more about this bridge-top skull cracking.

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Karmann

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Edited By Karmann
@Milpool said:
" This was so much more interesting than reading an article about Halo: Reach.  "
This.
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PillClinton

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Edited By PillClinton
@yossarian said:
" Refreshing honesty is refreshing. "