What? Were you expecting something else? Well, whatever you were expecting, you're getting Dragon Quest V instead. A game that I've already played through twice before. Yet despite this, there was so much here that I didn't see in those previous experiences. Enough, at least, to start another one of these threads. Let us commence, shall we?

All of Bianca's dialogue courtesy of the Ebonics Translator.

Should have played the DS version. Debora is the best wife.

I've really meant to play the Dragon quest games for a while now. From what I played of 4 a few years ago, I liked.

I already did a while ago, but I married Flora there, as I always do.

I had no idea they rereleased DQV as a PS2 game between the SNES and DS versions. I take it this is some kind of fan translation? It occurs to me how easy it would be (relatively speaking anyway, since you're still hacking the game's files and moving graphics around) to add the English script of a game that's been officially localized back into an older unlocalized version of the game.

I really ought to get back to IX one of these days. I don't even remember why I stopped. I think I got sick of trying to do all those promotion quests, or I tried one of those random dungeon grotto things and got horribly murdered by its boss. I'm going to say a little of column A and a little of column B.

Definitely.

Although you're wrong on this point. I know it's been a while since I've played a non PS2 version of this game, but I don't remember it being as British as it will inevitably become. Given how the SNES translation hedged more toward the literal side (as fan translations are wont to do), my best guess is that this is a completely new script.

@video_game_king: Oh really? So the big muscle dudes wearing helmets aren't all talking in cockney accents? I find the accents in modern DQ games to be thoroughly perplexing, and I live in the country they ostensibly originate from.

I guess it means something when a game has three completely different localizations. That's bizarre.

Well, that cat's gonna get rescued today. How efficient. Remember how my last thread took nine thousand updates just to introduce a team pet? Anyway, we'll call him Numor. It's only fitting.

Oh god, how long's this one gonna take?

DQ V is sooo good. Just looking at those screenshots makes me want to start another play through.

Truth.

@video_game_king: What's even weirder than the time paradox is that this is (I believe anyway) the only time a DQ hero has ever talked.

You should, it's great. So much to do in that game.

It gets a bit excessive, but I'm a fan of the newer localised translations. 'Ere m8 u cheeky wee fella, i sware on me mums lyf if u make fun of me mask 1 more time ill ave u m8 str8 up.

I've got 40 updates, so a little over a month?

What about VI, where you run into the real-world version of the protagonist?

Debora is superior.

This feature will say otherwise. Just you wait.

It will. But it'll be wrong.

Well that reminded me that I never finished that game!

Remember how I touched on the Fairy Kingdom yesterday? That shit's solved in a single update. THEY DON'T CALL ME THE KING FOR NOTHING, MOTHERFUCKER.

I hereby declare this the anthem of this thread:

A warning: some REAL heady shit's gonna happen in today's update. Viewer discretion is advised.

I should really cut back on all the Persona 3 references. This is a new thread, for god's sake.

It's continually bizarre looking at these screenshots. I'm far too used to the DS version for these crazy polygonal characters.

Alright. The King has been stuck in slavery for the past week. How's he been handling it? Not that fucking well.

I'm not gonna post seven updates worth of material in this one post. I left that shit behind in the Persona 3 thread. Let that be your punishment for your sins.

So now that The King is free, his first goal is to.....hell if I know. All we've got to go on is the vague clue that Martha's still alive and not much else.

I don't have time to read the captions I just open up all the spoiler blocks and scroll through the images really fast. I don't know what the fuck is going on.

Rotting corpses, pedophilia, Anita Sarkeesian....where do I begin?

Well, at least I know where to end:

During today's episode of The Internet Flip Book Endurance Run of Some Game I Have Not Played I may have finally noticed something. You named your character The King?

I'm gonna have A LOT of fun with that.

You know how our quest has been to find Martha? Well, I accomplished that oddly quickly. Sadly, I forgot to screenshot it, so instead, enjoy traditional Dragon Quest plot points.

Heh. I keep forgetting this thread exists. That's what you get for calling me dutiful.

Yes. I'm still mad about that.

At this rate, we'll be lucky to see The King get married. (That's also my way of telling you that this isn't gonna happen in today's update.)

I just wanted to say that I preferred Dragon Quest when it was Dragon Warrior. I know it was just a weird translation thing and that they changed it, but it reminds me of Dragon Warrior Monsters and Dragon Warrior VII. And those memories are comforting.

I should play this game.

Hammer time.

Somewhere, this update went a little crazy. Just like half my updates, now that I think about it.

Next time I do one of these threads, I should take a couple hints from my contemporaries and get all the characters naked within five updates.

Sneak attack!

Just checking to see if you have the post loaded up and are sitting in front of the computer waiting for someone to bump this so you can post it. Or are you not dedicated enough for that?

Fantasy movie buffs: you're gonna love today's update. Everybody else: it's gonna be a while before we see any nudity.

There's nudity? Damn it, now I'm going to have to start paying attention to what's happening.

Also I'm impressed. However next time I'll bump this at like 3 am eastern and see just how serious your dedication truly is.

Well, there has to be, considering what happens in the story. *mischievous smile forms*

It was just good timing. I'd just finished recording some Pulseman footage and decided to return to other affairs, and then saw this thread was bumped.

Damn it!

This playthrough is a complete failure.

Hey, guys, guess who's back? It isn't Deborah.

My guess is someone cut off their nipples and they fell into a radioactive waste and grew into those guys, sorta Godzilla style.

Also who is this Deborah chick and why's everybody all hot for her?

Hell if I know. I've always been a Flora kind of guy. I'm honestly more surprised that nobody called me out for the bait and switch from my last thread. Either I'm that predictable or you guys love Deborah that much.

I dunno, Bianca seems alright...

Debora (Actually spelled without an "h") is the third potential wife in the DS version of the game. She is also the best option.

This is it, guys. The big moment. Who will The King marry? I decide!

I trust you'll make the right choice The King.

This. Debora is pretty much the crazy, extra option they added. Her dialogue is really great.

It isn't Debora.

Boo! Hiss!

Hooray! We're married! Let's get drunk.

I don't want to set your expectations too high, but somebody we all know and love is making a very subtle cameo in today's update. That's right! Patrick Klepek is finally appearing in this feature! Isn't that amazing?

And on the whatever day this is, the lord (me) said "And let there be dragons!" And then I wondered, "wait a second, are there actually dragons in this game? I don't think I've seen any."

Rest assured, there will be dragons. But not today. Today, we meander around for a bit waiting for the plot to get its bearings.

WHO KNEW THAT THIS WAS REAL!?