My notifications are completely broken

As the title says, they have been for a while, and I've tried everything to get them to work, but to no avail. I literally don't get notified about anything (quotes, replies, PM's, etc)...

mine have never worked. not sure if anyone's do

@billymagnum: @dacnomaniac: Nay?

i should have clarified and taken more than half a second to think. my EMAIL notifications don't work. and nothing happens for me by following a thread...nothing ever tells me about new posts or anything...its supposed to right?

Go to settings and turn them on. I thought the same thing yesterday and asked rorie, and he told me to do that. I never even thought to check, so see if that's it

@billymagnum: @dacnomaniac: Have you both went into your notifications tab in your profile and made sure the boxes were checked? Something happened a few months ago that caused some users to have all of those boxes unchecked, so they stopped receiving all of those notifications.

(also, yes, I note the irony of tagging you in a thread specifically about how you won't get notified of this response) ;)

My notifications are broken, too. It tagged a message I'd already seen as new before realizing that there were quite a few messages after it.

I think my notifications have stopped working as well. Also the site is slow and i am getting a lot of 500 error pages.

@naru_joe93: Oh. Whoops. I swear I checked earlier and the settings were what they were meant to be...

I dont know what your problems with the forums or the search function is, because I have no issue with either. And they've been putting out a lot of great premium content that youre missing out on...

You seem really tense, here's a picture of a puppy and a rabbit and some smooth jazz to recalibrate your emotions! Have a nice day!

@naru_joe93: The puppy was nice, but the jazz has pissed me off. Or maybe the puppy pissed on the floor. Thanks, oh god, that jazz, fuck you!