Hey guys. I'm here to ask a question that has only recently come to my mind, but it's about something that bothers me a lot and I've only recently started thinking about it.
Me and a buddy of mine play a lot of games together and I see him through his tough times and his better times through the games, just like you all probably have. But I find that for some reason, when my buddy is getting pissed off at the game, I feel really bad and I don't know why. I think it's a mixture of me feeling his pain, and a mixture of me thinking that I'm the one to blame by simply being in the room. Mostly the latter. At the beginning I used to feel uncomfortable about it but now I've grown more used to it, but I still can't shake these feelings of guilt, or something.
I'm just wondering if it's right for me to feel like this while he's playing. Because I know people who can just walk in when he's pissed off and they don't even mind, like they don't even care and just blow it off as nothing but for some reason I can't do that! I get too involved with the game and the player, I try to formulate things in my head to help him, and I get myself down just by not being able to help. And then, when I am able to help and when I do say some advice to help him continue, I feel like my ego is too big or something.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Or am I totally crazy? :P
Do you feel bad being around a gamer frustrated at a game?
Just spent the last few months constantly dealing with this, as two of my roommates have the tendency to get frustrated with video games, especially online mulitplayer. Generally, if I wasn't doing anything important, I would just hang out in the other room (two room suite set up). Definitely awkward to be around people getting angry at games.
Yeah, I feel guilty sometimes because I'll be laughing at my friend when he dies, but then I realize he's taking it seriously, so I shutup and wait for him to settle down. I don't really care though, that only happens when he plays call of duty, but he doesn't anymore, so he no longer gets frustrated.
I usually laugh at my friends when they fail at playing video games, but then I just get pissed because they won't accept my advice, so they just continue jumping down the damn ravine, even when I try to let them know there is a bridge nearby. I tend to stay away from my friends when they play games as well, because I am usually ashamed at their awfulness.
Yeah, that can feel a little awkward sometimes, though I usually just find it funny. I can always tell when it's happening, because he'll start yelling stuff like "Lag!", "That hit him right in the head!", or "This is bullshit".
Yeah man, I totally know how you feel. When I watch my buddy get pissed at a game I feel terrible too. I also feel like that if I said anything I'd get an earful or something. I know that he wouldn't do something like that, but I still feel weird about it.
The funny thing about getting pissed off is that if the game wasn't good enough to keep playing, there would be no anger. When a bad game throws a monster difficulty spike at you, you just shake your head and turn it off. When a good game does it, it's the worst thing ever. That makes it tough, because even when the game is being bullshit, you can't say it sucks or you're indirectly criticizing your friend for playing it.
I tend to get really pissed when struggling at a game, and my roommate is usually in the area. I can't think of what I'd want her to do really. I don't appreciate her pissing on the game because I don't think she's qualified to do that, and I really wouldn't like to be fucked with at those moments. Basically a good mix of shutting the fuck up and offering the rare bit of encouragement when the next run starts going alright. Lighten the tension, I guess.
The only way me and my friends make it through survival horror games is by constantly conversing about the action on the screen in order to lighten the tension. And that's also why we don't play Silent Hill by ourselves, because it would probably kill us.
I think I get why you feel like your ego is taking over when you offer advice to help him.. it might be because you're not letting him ask for help. If he wants to overcome some difficulty on his own, then you should let him.
Personally, when I'm with friends playing video games I just like to sit and observe.. and occasionally comment on something related to the feel of the game. I don't usually comment on how they're playing the game or try to tell them they're doing it wrong when in most games there's waaayyy more than one way to go about things. I've found that if I keep offering them advice on how to play the game, then in some cases with certain people, they start to rely on the information I'm giving them too much. It can get to the point where they won't even discover things on their own anymore because they're waiting for me to tell them what else to do. I've found this to be a problem with a lot games' tutorial systems nowadays. There's way too much hand holding going on, in my opinion. Games are supposed to be fun and a major part of that fun is exploring how the game works without anyone having to tell you.
i get frustrated at watching people who no nothing about games, play them... i find my self screaming " GO THAT WAY!" "NO NOT THERE!" "THATS A GODDAMN TREE, YOU CAN'T WALK THROUGH IT!"
" i get frustrated at watching people who no nothing about games, play them... i find my self screaming " GO THAT WAY!" "NO NOT THERE!" "THATS A GODDAMN TREE, YOU CAN'T WALK THROUGH IT!" "Yeah, I get more annoyed when I see the solution almost instantly and they don't have any idea where to go.
" @Bam_D_Leprechaun said:exactly, I remember watching my girlfriends uncle (who is a very high up in the FBI fyi) try to play Zelda Twilight Princess on the Wii, major fail ensued, although he was a badass at Wii bowling" i get frustrated at watching people who no nothing about games, play them... i find my self screaming " GO THAT WAY!" "NO NOT THERE!" "THATS A GODDAMN TREE, YOU CAN'T WALK THROUGH IT!" "Yeah, I get more annoyed when I see the solution almost instantly and they don't have any idea where to go. "
Feel bad? Ha ha, no. Well, to a certain extent, only because they can't beat it and I feel like I could. It can be annoying, it can be funny, it all depends on how I feel, or how someone loses, or their reactions. When my best friend dies at games I say (or think) "Oh my God dude, just give me the controller bro, you suck." and sometimes laugh with him if there's a funny death or something. Buuuut, to a certain extent, yeah, I guess I do feel bad in a way. I don't really like seeing people in a negative mood one way or another. Usually I'm givin' the controller to get passed parts so it's good for everyone ha ha.
Dude, yeah. It's no big deal, don't make anything of it. It's his skill at the particular time mixed with a possibility of anger issyas (I don't know him obviously, so this would be for you to deceipher). Just don't feel bad. I find it at times funny, at times awkward, and at times hilarious. I would say try to offer up something to say, but what is there to say? The only thing I can think of is if he keeps messing up and he's doing some part wrong, then you can kindly point him in the right direction or whatevs. I may be thinking of too many scenarios, but hey. Bottom line: you're overthinking it. Never feel bad about it, it's not your fault, I mean that's silly bro. May be downright awkward for sure, but don't let that make ya feel down. Ya know?
When I get angry at the vidya I actually want somebody to be angry with me. If you stand there silently then I don't know what you're thinking like "He sucks" or "The game is cheap". Talk to the person playing and give them advice or say that the game is bullshit lol.
" i get frustrated at watching people who no nothing about games, play them... i find my self screaming " GO THAT WAY!" "NO NOT THERE!" "THATS A GODDAMN TREE, YOU CAN'T WALK THROUGH IT!" "Sweet Luchadeer this is one of the most painful things to witness, You just don't know what to do as they fumble around with something so basic, I know it takes time to learn things but Damn, it doesn't take that long.
I feel bad in the sense that my brother is constantly playing games and constantly mad at then and cussing, and I have to share a room, so I have to yell at him to shut up a bunch. Really pisses me off that he's that ridiculous with his anger.
It really depends on the person. I've had some friends who just shrug it off eventually and generally laugh at the situation that they're in. Some can really make things feel really awkward and uncomfortable by being silent or even ragequitting. I know I've expressed my displeasure with games by yelling things like "fuck man, I'm gonna fuckin' teabag this motherfucker when I fuckin' kill him" (I remember doing this with Assassin's Creed during the battle with like 20 templars before you fight de Sable) after dying a lot, but I understood why I was failing and didn't blame the game (for the most part) because of my bad timing.
To answer your question, yes, I do feel bad when I see someone frustrated at a game. It really dampens the mood and makes me just throw the match sometimes. A real coward move to please your pathetic friends. Some people need to know it's just a game, Jesus Christ.
" Never. I find it funny when people get mad at video games. "I'm pretty much the same way. If a friend is struggling on a game and is making a scene out of it, I usually say they need to chill and then offer some help or something. If that doesn't work, I just sit back and watch them play until they figure it out. I don't really understand where the feelings of guilt that the OP is talking about come from.
I am that friend. Nice to meet you. I know very few people with a strong competitive streak that don't flip out at games from time to time - particularly online. The desire to be the best is a powerful thing. It's also unattainable for someone employed. Basically, you're not to blame if you're not being a dick. Let's break that down.
If you're not playing a game with me, but you're in the room, leave me alone. I don't want advice, empathy, or anything. My hollerin' is venting, that's all. I've had girlfriends who are bad at this and others that are good. Let me tell you: it can be an issue with the wrong chick.
If you're playing a game with me, the law is sportsmanship. I don't bitch over voice-chat or in person, I don't brag, just congratulate others on a good game and move on. Unless, of course, they want to trash talk. Then, I will pretty much be dead silent. Typically, trash talking turns me me into Angry Rainman. I will definitely... definitely kick your ass. (or not.) To avoid this whooping: don't trash talk, don't laugh at me if I'm not already laughing, don't use exploits, don't play against me in a game that I've never played and "forget" to explain some of the rules, etc.
If you're not to blame but being around the other person is making you feel bad, then remove yourself from the situation. If it's bad enough that you're constantly removed from the situation, maybe it's time to talk to the person when they're separated from their controller.
Depends who it is and what is happening.
Funny angry is great, because it turns into a big group piss-taking session, especially when it's me trying to perform Mortal Kombat Fatalities or other complete bollocks that I hate doing. Or when it's some of my friends playing NSMB Wii or Smash Bros etc.
But dude's just plain getting angry, like my brother, I wanna punch that little fuck in the face every single time because he literally (actually literally) screams at the top of his lungs and smashes things, throws shit, breaks doors, shelves, plates, tvs, xboxes. Yeah, he's a complete fucktard and no I do not like being around an asshole who thinks it's appropriate to act in this manner. He's not even playing difficult games, he's just a complete spazmo.
All about balance I guess.
Yeah, same here. The player shouldn't be getting that upset over something so trivial as a video game, and it hardly matters when someone does. It's honestly no big deal, unless he starts punching people out of sheer rage or something." Never. I find it funny when people get mad at video games. "
@Bam_D_Leprechaun said:
" (who is a very high up in the FBI fyi) "What does that have to do with anything? :p
I get kind of put off, actually, as gaming is generally relaxing for me and someone being all stressed out can hamper that.
It really depends on how angry they get, though. And how. Sometimes it's funny.
" I get kind of put off, actually, as gaming is generally relaxing for me and someone being all stressed out can hamper that. It really depends on how angry they get, though. And how. Sometimes it's funny. "I've definitely had to learn this. I have a buddy like you. Very relaxed and casual gamer, where I'm extremely competitive. He'll be humping mailboxes and giggling. Meanwhile, I'll be hollering, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING GET OVER HERE AND STOP THESE IDIOTS!@$#" Needless to say, we're better off playing games in separate rooms where I can employ extreme use of the mute switch on myself.
I nerd rage and laugh at those that nerd rage. No harm in it. Shit can get frustrating. Gotta blow off some steam.
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