How Do You Make Love to a Woman?

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Seppli

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#1  Edited By Seppli
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Seppli

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#2  Edited By Seppli

I'm Plumber Type. Because I like to get things done! Your turns over baby!

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xMP44x

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#3  Edited By xMP44x

With a rag in one hand, and a knife in the other.
 
Well, someone had to say it. Isn't this one of those incredibly personal questions though? I can't really respond TBH.

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Bennyishere

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#4  Edited By Bennyishere

Seriously though, how do you make love to a woman?

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KaosAngel

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#5  Edited By KaosAngel
@Bennyishere said:

" Seriously though, how do you make love to a woman? "


 Fuckin' Women, How Does That Work?!
 Fuckin' Women, How Does That Work?!
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BeachThunder

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#6  Edited By BeachThunder

Like a Giant Bomb - Explosive!

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metalmoog

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#7  Edited By metalmoog

Lol I thought someone was seriously asking how it's done.  Dammit, was looking forward to ridiculing that particular individual. :D

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NekuSakuraba

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#8  Edited By NekuSakuraba

With my penis.

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deactivated-5f00787182625

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This thread is going to end brilliantly. 
 
I chose Other:
  

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RichardLOlson

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#10  Edited By RichardLOlson

Well here is how you do it:
 
  Lay her down on the bed, slowly undress her and then start with a rose.  Running it down her body, then you begin to kiss every inch of her body very slowly...then you, uh oh I made a mess.

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mesoian

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#11  Edited By mesoian

I picked something random. 
 
The answer is long foreplay followed by multiple positions. 
 
A true gentleman makes sure his partner comes at least 4 times before he does.

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Dysnomia

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#12  Edited By Dysnomia
@MetalMoog said:
" Lol I thought someone was seriously asking how it's done.  Dammit, was looking forward to ridiculing that particular individual. :D "
I know...I thought this was gonna be fun.
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Seppli

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#13  Edited By Seppli
@RichardLOlson said:
" Well here is how you do it:    Lay her down on the bed, slowly undress her and then start with a rose.  Running it down her body, then you begin to kiss every inch of her body very slowly...then you, uh oh I made a mess. "
I put you down for a C then?
 
You should seriously consider trying option B for a change. It's highly effective and totally blue collar. As long as she ain't got no brittle bone syndrome, you won't break it. I swear.
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citizenkane

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#14  Edited By citizenkane

Any way I can.
 

 
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GreyColor

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#15  Edited By GreyColor

I don't think you should call a plumber when your gutters are clogged.

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Pinworm45

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#16  Edited By Pinworm45

I never understood why people have problems pleasuring women, It's really fucking easy. I'm not trying to claim I'm some sort of ladies man, but I at least pleasure my woman. I mean, when I see amateur porn, what the fuck are you guys doing? like seriously, what the hell? Don't fucking jab at her clit with your thumb and pry the damn thing open. 
 
Pleasing women is all about the start and her state of mind, get her in the right place and every action will feel incredible for her regardless of your technical skill.  
 
And foreplay doesn't just mean moving down there slowly, morons.  
 
Nor does this mean be lovey dovey. Determine the situation (does she really want it? or are you both feeling really close and lovey dovey?), tease her to elevate the situation (note that tease doesn't mean lightly touch or touch at all for that matter, although these methods can be incorporated), and then respond physically to whatever the situation is (does she really want it? really give it to her. Is she feeling really romantic and in love? Really give that to her.) 
 
BAM. 
 
Edit: I know the question "how do you make love to a woman" wasn't asking how it's done but how you like it, but I still felt the need to go on this rant.

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KaosAngel

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#17  Edited By KaosAngel
@Pinworm45: ...your advise saved me.  I finally understand, normally I just go for the g-spot and she slaps me. 
 
Pinworm45, your words are always so wise.
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Karl_Boss

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#18  Edited By Karl_Boss

Seppli did your account get hacked or something?

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Pinworm45

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#19  Edited By Pinworm45
@KaosAngel said:
" @Pinworm45: ...your advise saved me.  I finally understand, normally I just go for the g-spot and she slaps me.  Pinworm45, your words are always so wise. "
I think your problem may have been that you were rushing for the gspot from the front. 
 
Try the backdoor entrance if you're going to rush for that. 
 
You may need to break some rocks first, though.
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TaliciaDragonsong

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F.

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fwylo

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#21  Edited By fwylo

Great thread. 
 
Pirate for me.

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HandsomeDead

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#22  Edited By HandsomeDead

Not often enough.

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Yummylee

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#23  Edited By Yummylee

A pirate option with no Ninja?....WE HAVE WOOOOOON!!

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Seppli

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#24  Edited By Seppli
@Pinworm45: 
 
Dude - generalization is the bread and butter of forums and it's hella fun.
 
If a woman doesn't want to have a good time, she won't. No matter what. A jerk knows how to force physical arousal. Personally, I'm a jerk when it comes to women. At least then I'm gonna be on the up and up and know if she's really into me or not.
 
I can see how in a close personal relation you want to give a woman exactly what she needs. Okay. In all other cases though, I think brash action is advisable. Jerk them hard and good and see what comes of it.
 
In any case. Getting her to score first will be advantageous. If she is unwilling to score, then why even bother?
 
Not everybody is Rant Casey. Selfishness has to be earned.
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mfpantst

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#25  Edited By mfpantst

a2m2m

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Azteck

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#26  Edited By Azteck
@KaosAngel said:
" @Bennyishere said:

" Seriously though, how do you make love to a woman? "


 Fuckin' Women, How Does That Work?!
 Fuckin' Women, How Does That Work?!
"
Is he, uh, pointing something out? Like say the length of something?
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thatfrood

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#27  Edited By thatfrood

amazing.
 
edit:
 @Abyssfull said:

" A pirate option with no Ninja?....WE HAVE WOOOOOON!! "

Ninja - Fast and unnoticeable.
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Seppli

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#28  Edited By Seppli
@mfpantst said:
" a2m2m "
a** to mouth to... MAN?
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mfpantst

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#29  Edited By mfpantst
@Seppli:  to mouth.
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Pinworm45

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#30  Edited By Pinworm45
@Seppli said:
" @Pinworm45:     I can see how in a close personal relation you want to give a woman exactly what she needs. Okay. In all other cases though, I think brash action is advisable. "
Not really. It's not about giving her 'what she needs' it's about understanding what she wants, make her want it significantly more, than give it to her, preferably while not being retarded and clawing at her vag within 2 seconds of getting her naked. 
 
I'm not saying don't be rough. I'm saying find out if that's what she wants, make her want it even more, then give it to her. If that means being rough, and such is often the case, so be it.
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Seppli

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#31  Edited By Seppli
@mfpantst: 
 
Implying a threesome! I get it now!
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thehexeditor

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#32  Edited By thehexeditor

 I'll give you bonafied lovin 
The kind that makes me feel old
 

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bravetoaster

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#33  Edited By bravetoaster

Duct tape and chloroform. 

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Seppli

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#34  Edited By Seppli
@Pinworm45 said:

" @Seppli said:

" @Pinworm45:     I can see how in a close personal relation you want to give a woman exactly what she needs. Okay. In all other cases though, I think brash action is advisable. "

Not really. It's not about giving her 'what she needs' it's about understanding what she wants, make her want it significantly more, than give it to her, preferably while not being retarded and clawing at her vag within 2 seconds of getting her naked.  I'm not saying don't be rough. I'm saying find out if that's what she wants, make her want it even more, then give it to her. If that means being rough, and such is often the case, so be it. "
Semantics.
 
Rough is a good word. I don't see how anything but rough gets you anywhere quick. I do what you do first after both me and my girl are done. Not beforehand. How the fuck could I know her that well without breaking her in? I'm no ladywhisperer like you seem to be.
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RichardLOlson

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#35  Edited By RichardLOlson
@Seppli said:
" @RichardLOlson said:
" Well here is how you do it:    Lay her down on the bed, slowly undress her and then start with a rose.  Running it down her body, then you begin to kiss every inch of her body very slowly...then you, uh oh I made a mess. "
I put you down for a C then?  You should seriously consider trying option B for a change. It's highly effective and totally blue collar. As long as she ain't got no brittle bone syndrome, you won't break it. I swear. "
I can be all of the above.  But most of the time, I like pain with pleasure.
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deactivated-6022efe9ba3cf

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sex

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spaceturtle

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#37  Edited By spaceturtle

Dirty talk and foot massages!!! All the way, baby!

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GunnBjorn

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#38  Edited By GunnBjorn

I'm a Troglodyte! Render them unconscious with one blow of a club on the head and then drag them by the hair to a cave. Easy, peasy, Japanesey. Pretty classic, really.        
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Jadeskye

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#39  Edited By Jadeskye

This could be the greatest topic of all time. 
 
I think i gotta go with pirate. ARRRR.

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Mmmslash

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#40  Edited By Mmmslash

I have no fucking clue.

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weltal

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#41  Edited By weltal

.....how is babby formed?

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ShockD

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#42  Edited By ShockD

I thought that love is a feeling not an object to be made.

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Rockdalf

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#43  Edited By Rockdalf

I know I'm acceptable at love making... but I don't know the correct answer.  Lawd, this be the first poll I've not voted upon seeing.

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NekuSakuraba

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#44  Edited By NekuSakuraba
@Weltal
.....how is babby formed?
They need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back? it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids. they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his children ; i am truley sorry for your lots
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Video_Game_King

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#45  Edited By Video_Game_King

Like a King: with supreme authority and sitting down.

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Tedtded

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#46  Edited By Tedtded

D. I guess, but she can enjoy that shit, so this poll, (like most others), is very flawed.

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dbz1995

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#47  Edited By dbz1995

Whilst I am a virgin, I don't think I'll ever think to myself whilst in bed 'Arr, I be doin the lassie' or anything like.

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ZeroCast

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#48  Edited By ZeroCast

I'll tell you how Seppli . With that new controller of yours.
 
BAM.

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FluxWaveZ

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#49  Edited By FluxWaveZ

I don't.

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zeforgotten

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#50  Edited By zeforgotten

We don't "make love" because it sounds boring as fuck... 
 
But if that's what you softies wanna call it: All of the above, I guess?