Why I am speaking up for women in games

My name is Brianna Wu, also known as spacekatgal on Twitter. You might have seen me in the news this week as I was driven from my home by someone threatening to murder my family.

This weekend, I participated in your thread about the Giant Bomb letter to the editor, and tried to engage the users of this site in some of the issues pertinent to how women that make game and play games feel. The reactions ranged from polite to angrily defensive. That's not why I'm here.

The reason I'm starting a thread is to show you one of the responses I got to trying to have a dialogue with your site. I get 30-40 just like this sent to me every day.

I want to tell you, the current state of the videogame industry is scaring the hell out of many women. You may not want to hear this, but it's completely true. The current atmosphere of players and developers is hostile in ways I'm not really sure you understand. It stops women from playing games, participating in videogame culture and developing games.

Anita Sarkeesian said at XOXO, "The most radical thing you can do when women tell you about their experiences is believe them." What I'm asking you to do today is believe me, and reflect on how you can change that.

Thanks for sharing. The idea of being scared to do what you love because of things like this is depressing.

I have friends who have started in the IT and programming world who have had similar concerns as well.

As a woman who loves to play games, I greatly appreciate what you're doing. I've faced too many terrible, sexist things in online games (LoL, WoW, Halo, etc.) and can no longer participate in them. I'm only able to enjoy co-op gaming with my partner and will likely never play anything online again.

My first experience with online games with voicechat was playing L4D on XBLA. Hearing my voice, the other 3 players ganged up on my in the elevator, and started screaming, "D&* B$%^H," while using their melee thrusts on me. I rarely have played online game since.

I feel very strongly that we've got to discuss these problems. It was past time to talk about it a long time ago.

It is depressing. I am a software engineer - I would much rather spend this energy developing games. But, we've really hit a point where it's flat-out dangerous to be a woman in tech.

Look at this timeline of just the events this year. Many of these women are my friends.

I just want to do my job, but it's time to stand up and face this toxicity.

Hey Brianna,

Do you think law enforcement is doing enough to find the people who are sending these threats and make examples of them? Are they even capable lf doing so?

It's almost like these things can be done with impunity. That is one of the most frustrating things about it.

I'm sorry you've had to put up with a ton of garbage from terrible people. No one should have to fear for their lives just for working in the video game industry. Hopefully you are a role model for other women who are in similar positions. Please don't let those rotten apples stop you from doing what you do.

First of all, I can't talk about an ongoing investigation. But, I promise you that they're working on it and I have faith in them.

Secondly, I agree these things are done with impunity far too often. I am working with my legislators here in Massachusetts to see if there is a legislative solution. I think you'll see action soon.

@spacekatgal: Want to say I admire you taking a stand as well. I don't work in the games industry, but another field with a notoriously "Old Boys' network" history, and some of the stories female colleagues have told me about their experiences, even at the highest level, would make one think it's still 1920.

I remember the first time I had a friend tell me she was raped, I couldn't believe it. Not that I thought she was lying, but that it had to have been a misunderstanding... a more casual use of the term than I understood "rape" to mean. People don't rape other people in the 2000s! I couldn't "get" it right away because, as I came to realize, I didn't have the experience necessary to.

Guys simply have no reference to what women deal with. I can sympathize, I can even empathize, but I can never truly know because I'll never be in that position. It's about accepting that, as a guy, I have no sense of what it feels like to be hit on by almost every member of the opposite sex I've ever met since I was 13, and the suspicions that understandably encourages. I won't have to worry that a friend I've known for years has secretly desired me, and might take advantage if I get too drunk. It's about understanding that I'm not capable of passing judgements on a life I've never led.

Anyway, I doubt you need a random internet stranger to tell you they're sorry for you and what's been happening. But I hope it means something that someone cares, and wants to contribute in whatever small way they can.

Thank you. I'm not going anywhere. I think if we don't act now, we will lose an entire generation of women from making games. It was past time to stand up to the toxicity a long time ago.

I lurked a little in that thread, and it seemed so crazy to see people saying things like "why do people just believe her without proof?" That kind of denial baffles me, but it seems like it's such a common response to every woman who speaks out, as if it's only natural to assume the Actual Human Being on the other end is instead some conniving deceit machine. It really threw me for a loop.

I'm sorry some elements of this community have been so unwelcoming to you, and actively hostile to some of those around you. I don't know how much I can do as a lowly user, but maybe it's worth at least chiming in sometimes with some empathy, to change the tone of the conversation even a little.

I believe you - even without the events of the last few months, this has long been a male-targeted and dominated industry, and the only women around have been those willing to brave that garbage. With all that's happened recently, I don't see how anyone could doubt that.

I saw something you wrote about how Giant Bomb should hire a woman and talk about feminist and women issues ( related to gaming I'm guessing ) on the site.

My question is why is it not enough for Giant Bomb to cover video games? That's what it started as and that's what most people come here for.

Considering most sites like polygon/kotaku and others are covering these issues why should Giant Bomb be taking the same approach as companies who they are competing with.A different approach has been proven to work for GB.

I really don't know what to say, other than I'm sad people feel like they have to silence themselves out of fear. No one should feel like they have to think of their safety when speaking out in the community at large. Over the last few months I've seen nothing but negativity and sadness permeate our community. Whether it be a small minority acting through extreme compulsions or a problem in the mindsets at large, this whole movement has fallen in on itself and negatively affected the gaming community. We need more diversity in all aspect of video games, and as someone whose always loved them I can't see it being anything but positive. I can only hope something good comes out of this when all's said and done. I'm sorry you and others alike have had to put up with so much vitriol and harassment for simply trying to have a voice.

I think the best lesson we can all take away from all this is to try and be empathetic to those on the other side of the computer. Because we are all in fact just people. Thanks for sharing this with us.

It's sad this is happening. I hope we can keep seeing games from all sorts of different people. I'm glad we have more women participating and I wish it wasn't so hostile. That said I love stuff like Bayonetta and Dead or Alive so I guess that makes me a villain too.

I just went and saw Fury with my husband. There's something about Tank and war movies I just don't understand. There is no shame in not understanding the perspective of another gender!

The problem in games is, far too often - men here try to tell women what we are allowed to think, say or feel. It's just not right. It comes off as bullying and intimidation. It's a very knee-jerk reaction that we need to educate ourselves and get past.

If I could change one thing about videogame culture, I'd ask the men here to try to listen to the women around them more.

It's awful the shit you and other women have to put up with in video games to be honest. I've never considered myself part of such an 'exclusive' culture before, but I can't figure out a different word for what video games culture currently is. Women are treated like shit, minorities are treated like shit. It's just an all round awful environment most of the time that has few redeeming features.

I do my best to engage in poisonous view points that exist within the 'gaming community' and challenge other stuff, but my impact is minimal. I just hope if at least one thing I can do my best to make it a nicer space for other people who aren't just straight white males.

Thank you. I have to admit, I'm flat out perplexed by the people with conspiracy theories about me. There's a several hundred page discussion about EXIF data on an image I retweeted. I can't do anything about it but ignore it.

It's a sad point when it's easier to believe a conspiracy theory than a woman.

Thank you for sharing this, and for helping to enlighten on a situation that many people are simply unaware of, willfully or not. For what it's worth, I do believe you, and what's been transpiring as of late has definitely made me think. That's partially why I didn't respond directly to most comments you made in the letter to the editor thread. I wanted to take in what you said.

I'm not sure what I can do to help the situation other than not contribute toward the hateful culture and try to encourage others to do the same.

I feel horrible about all of this. Had this happened 10 years ago, I'd have been on the wrong side of this equation. On one hand, I have hope that a portion of people involved in this grow out of their "awful shithead" phase. On the other, I suspect they'll be replaced by the next 14 year old in line. It just seems like this'll be a ceaseless tide of scumbags.

I love Bayonetta! I mean, I REALLY love Bayonetta - I have figures of her and art books! You can be a pro-sex feminist! Personally, I enjoy games with sexy women. It's when they're objects for men and don't have agency that I get mad.

I'm going to have to decline to discuss that subject here. My views are known. I think it would derail the matter at hand.

I don't think it is exclusive to any particular nation. I'm not American anyway, I'm British. I think video games culture is universal in its flaws.

2007 Brianna would have been on the wrong side of the equation too. I was against feminism for a good portion of my life. The thing is, we live in a society that infects you with these terrible messages about women. It takes a while to wake up.

A lot of people aren't going to have their consciousness raised on these issues. It's sad, but we have to stand up to them. All the women in tech I know want is to be treated with more equality.

It's a very complicated issue. Part of it is men hiding abusive behavior from other men. Part of it is, some guys react very poorly when a woman bests them.

A huge part is, videogames have treated women as sex objects and bimbos for so long, that's what players have been told women are. Videogames are mostly a male power fantasy where women are your reward.

Ok i completely understand that.

I remember before all the news coverage exploded you wanted to "tone down things with gamergate" and try and have a civilized discussion.
And that monday i think it was the major media coverage began.

My question is how is this diffusing a situation that's been horrible in all sides?Seems like it will just keep escalating until something even more horrible happens.

@spacekatgal:

Hey there! So I've largely stayed out of the conversation on these issues because I'm not so sure that the internet is a good place for it. It takes a really good writer to bring out the nuance that comes from a conversation into the written (or I supposed typed) word and I'm not so sure I'm that good of a writer. But, here it goes.

I think the most important thing I should say is that I feel terrible for anyone who is harassed, regardless the reason. Because there is no good reason for that sort of treatment. That you and others don't feel safe is ridiculous and I hope that the appropriate measures are being taken to fix that. Since Anita brought up this topic I have spent more time thinking about my view on gender and sex, in the media and elsewhere. I don't completely agree with all of the views Anita shares but I don't have to. That her videos have led me to pause and think differently is enough for me. That people like yourself are terrorized for your beliefs also makes me pause and think. It reaffirms my fear that there are a lot of bad people out there but also that, again, I'm just not sure the internet is the place for conversation like this. It is too easy to be reactionary and defensive. People try to hard to 'win' an argument rather than have a discussion. It just doesn't seem like productive conversation can be had. Anita's videos, your experiences, and other women's experiences are effective because they provide a different view on a topic. Like one would hope would happen with a conversation. But with these examples it is a one-sided conversation. So to me there isn't really a dialogue. There's 'sharing of a perspective' followed by chaos and vitriol.

So I guess what I'd like you and others to know is that there are plenty of people who are listening to what is being said and share similar views but would rather chose to ignore the battlefield because the war seems pointless. I'd rather take these experiences and perspectives and integrate them into my personal life and how I present myself online. That is, online and away from the nuclear bombs that surround these topics. Because it sounds like those parts of the internet are shit-storms where no one wins and everyone ends up covered in shit.

I know you have a turbulent relationship with Giant Bomb, so thanks very much for taking time to talk about it here. Your specific perspective carries a ton of weight, and it's pretty crucial if we're ever gonna get past not just this Gamergate thing, but all the ugly sexism in the industry and community in general. I don't want to say "keep doing what you're doing", because no one could blame you for running and hiding considering everything that's happening, but I will say it's very much appreciated.

I know your life is crazy right now, but I hope you have a chance to enjoy the sequel when it comes out.

I don't consider my relationship with GB turbulent. We're both professionals. I am a well known speaker for women in tech - and part of my professional responsibility is to address things like their site.

Conversely, if they played Revolution 60 and didn't like it - it wouldn't be personal. This is business.

I reject that this is a two-sides issue. Look at this thread from a Boston Globe writer looking into it. These people are against women that want equality in the games industry.

If I'm saying, "I would like to be treated with respect," and you're saying that's stupid - this isn't a discussion. All I'm asking is for them to get their foot off my neck.

I don't want to get into a long discussion about this, but I will say that anybody who thinks that video games and politics are only being linked now is fooling themselves. Personal politics are visible in just about every instance of every medium of art. The topics covered in games, and thus the politics, are just getting more niche, divisive, and heterogeneous. It's a sign that video games are growing up.

You're doing awesome work Brianna. Thank you for speaking out. We need more diverse voices to expand and improve our games and I'm glad you're at the vanguard. As a lifelong male video game player, I truly love this medium. But when I see the frankly juvenile treatment of women and minorities in the gaming community and in games themselves, I am simply embarrassed to be identified with it. We're it not for voices such as yours, I would have simply given up on this hobby I love so much.

This is part of a trend I've noticed- many women have said that they previously opposed feminism until they started getting into the industry and experienced the prejudice first hand. I can recall both Jenn Frank and Maddy Myers talking about this.

For what it's worth I thank you for talking about this, and would also like to say I'm impressed with everything you've stood up to not just in the last week or so, but in your entire time in the industry. I hope the situation gets better for you as soon as possible.

Being able to sit this out is male privilege.

I am in this field. This is my career, and these people are taking out my friends one by one. This is a freight train barreling towards me. I do not have your luxury of doing nothing.

One day I will write about the challenges being a woman who runs her own studio. Do you know I had a meeting with a console company recently about porting my game to their system? At the end of the meeting, he laughed derisively about my work for women in tech and never followed up.

These issues affect my career and every woman's career.

This is my hobby too! I love games! It's time for them to go beyond the Mad Men age!

I'm glad you're able to stick around and talk about your situation. It is truly sickening to see people get silenced by harassment.

I'm for Gamergate and have disliked the response by the media first to ignore it and then attack it. Do you hate me?

No. I don't hate you. I do hate the personal crusade to destroy me and my friends. If it's all about ethics, leave me alone and go fight for what you believe in. Let the person with the best ideas win.

Again, I would point you to this from a Boston Globe writer. I agree with his opinion that this is really about men disliking women that advocate greater social awareness in games.

I remember the fear, at least in my circles, when the US hearings on video game violence were happening. Though we would have defended this statement to the death, ultimately, we were a bunch of kids afraid that Congress was going to take away what we liked. Could I rationally and objectively explain why being able to rip someone's head off in Mortal Kombat was enjoyable? Not without sounding like a psychopath - and we KNEW that - so our arguments instead were more about "it's just a game," "it's just fantasy," "it's no big deal," and even tossing around some "freedom of speech" guff like we knew what the hell we were talking about at 14.

But the fact is, we liked the violence. It was "cool." Maybe because it was forbidden, maybe it speaks to something primal, who knows? Outside the scope of a dumbass forum post. We felt a positive reaction to it and we wanted to continue feeling that. That was the driving force behind wanting to keep out censorship, period. Everything else was just bullshit reasoning.

I bring it up, because I see a lot of parallels to that experience, and the reaction to the "social agenda" these days. I wonder how much of this is, not so much about refusing to let girls into the clubhouse, but that the boys are worried their toys will be taken away. The games they like will be forced to change. The polygon boobies they can't possibly rationally explain why the enjoy - they just know they do - won't be allowed anymore. Call of Duty is replaced by a dozen expressionist indies to be "more accepting to the female audience." Etc. Etc.

Maybe that's just an idealistic hope that people aren't shitty to women because they're women.

Still, I do wonder what it would have been like if Twitter and blogs had been around during the 1992 hearings. Would Lieberman and Col. Grossman have gotten anonymous death threats? (probably.) Would there have been a hashtag about how Night Trap was being misrepresented and it's all a conspiracy (definitely.)

Good on you for standing up to the bullshit '2 sides' argument, nothing makes me angrier then seeing gamergate supporters trying to rationalize their actions as equal. If anyone is neutral or pro-gamergate, I suggest you go to any of the gamergate 'discussion boards' and see what your fellow 'gamers' real feelings are. I know some of you are legitimately worried about game journalism corruption, but from day one, the scumbags of the internet have been using the movement as an attempt to legitimize their insane views. These are the same people that were attacking Jennifer Hepler and Anita Sarkeesian before the hashtag, and they will continue to do so after gamergate dies down, but do not let them use you as defenders for their actions.

As a straight white male I'm probably the least qualified person to say that I fully empathise with you and support everything you do for women in the industry. I'm really happy that sites like Polygon, GB and Eurogamer who indirectly exercise a lot of influence over the discussion about the inclusiveness of the industry have started taking a hard stand against this movement that is making the gaming industry an uncomfortable place for the people who have the most to give to it.

It's incredible that you're still speaking out after everything that has been thrown at you. Hopefully the more you do, the more decent rational people will speak out with you instead remaining silent and hoping it will all go away.

If this was about men disliking women that advocate greater social awareness in games than why donate to a charity specifically designed to help woman and advocate greater social awareness in games?

I had a discussion with an editor of a major videogame site this week. He said, he felt that we wanted our cake and to eat it too. We want VERY HARD for videogames to be considered art, but we don't want to hear any critique of videogames from a feminist perspective. He's completely right.

I can't believe that videogame culture has escalated to the point that I and my friends are having our lives destroyed and are getting death threats. The same political fanaticism that destroyed American politics has come to videogames. It's insanity.

Ultimately, most of what I argue for professionally is including more women in the games industry, and treating us with a little more respect. This is not something worth issuing death threats over.

@spacekatgal:

I can understand that this effects you more than me. My field is a bit different. I work as a mental health therapist for a non-profit clinic that specializes in working with minorities and low income families and individuals. The higher ups are a mix of men and women of all races and nationalities. In my clinic I have four bosses. Thre are women and one is a man. So I can hear what you say and try to empathize but as I said it's not an experience I can fully relate to. Not only because I'm a man but because I work for a company that doesn't treat people that way.

Online, I try to present myself as well as I can and hope others do the same. I get why you're doing what your doing. You don't work in the field I do or a field that offers women those same opportunities. I don't have to take these issues everywhere I go like you do. So I get it and will support you and others in your position. But I'm also not going to jump in the middle of a minefield either because, as I said, I see it as a bit hopeless. Because I just don't see the internet as a viable avenue for change. Maybe I'm wrong and if so then great.

But I do try to change these problems my own way. I challenge these issues in therapy, with my co-workers, friends, and family. I don't just sit by when I think I can make a difference. Just like you aren't here, online, because I imagine you believe you imagine you can. Which I hope your right.

So I hope I didn't offend with my last post. But also please try not to presume my character. Maybe I read too much into what you wrote. But again I don't just sit by and watch people get hurt because I'm allowed that opportunity. I push for change where I believe I can make a difference.

It's basically a PR move. "Look, we donate to charity, we're obviously not bad people!"

I believe you @spacekatgal, I just don't think change can come immediately to the gaming market. Although the situation is difficult i feel it is through informing the consumers and developers about the difficulties of women in the gaming industry, rather than confrontation. Many defensive reactions come because of said confrontation.