crawling back

Hi! Idk if anyone still remembers me, I assume people do because I posted a lot like ages ago ago and there can't have been that much turnover, but i haven't posted here in 9 months so with the fact that my self esteem, much like my emotional state, varies wildly from positive to negative, might also lead me to believe that no one actually remembers me and this is going to be really awkward.

WHATEVER

anyway, So by the time december rolled around, I was busy not thinking of anything to do with the fact that I, and my parents were becoming homeless, because our apartment priced us out and my brother and his girlfriend left and didn't help us because fuck them. Also rent in general in Portland is crazy. Thus, January rolled around, and we were homeless! We rented an RV for a month from a former bandmate of my father, who is literally bipolar and didn't take any meds. Let me say that the anxiety I got from living there was pretty bad. So Febuary rolls around, we spend a large amount of Febuary sleeping in the car which sucks and I would very much not recommend. We actually got into a shelter late febuary, and stayed there until we finally got an apartment we could afford.

The shelter was this old army reservists base, and it was actually pretty okay. It helped me become less anxious about my transition (there were so many transpeople there and I finally knew where to get women's shoes in size 11), and thus I started going full time whilst I was there, which was awesome; roughly 6 months in fact! Even if my 'full time' is actually just kinda t-shirts with varying degrees of tightness and pants that you would wear to a job, it's still nice to be able to go outside, wear makeup (lipstick actually i have no idea how to do other makeup) and not worry that much. I don't wanna post a pic because that's not really the point but you can look at my tumblr (same user name) if you really wanna know.

So I actually got my first job as soon as I became unhomeless, which was basically a janitorial training thing for people with disabilites, of which anxiety counts, so yep. It was probably the worst job for me because A: I am not very clean, as a person, B: It was a night job and I'm a morning person, C: My anxiety was actually very much not helpful because I had a timeline and that did not help! I did finally end up meeting friends there, because apparently I am actually super funny and likable once people get to know me, which was the first time I'd made a new friend irl since, like, high school. pretty sad, really, but I'll take it!

I actually quit because both my body and my mind couldn't fucking take it anymore, because I'm like tired all of the time and shit anyway, and I had to take my bike 4 miles to the MAX (light rail) station to get there and back, and fuck that. I haven't looked very much because I'm still super tired and I suspect it's a iron deficency due to my estradiol dosage, but hey, things are going okay without it. Actually I still feel guilty because my mom is working and I'm not but whatever

Anyway, for all of the people who wondered where that dumb trans shit poster was, here I am!

(PS if anyone's wondering about games I've played, Life is Strange is dope, Fallout 4 is not dope, Lightning returns is SO GOOD OMG)

You! I remember you. Hello. Sounds like a real wild ride. Anxiety and depression are no fun.

Nope. I remember you, and I'm happy to say welcome back. I hope things become even more stable and happier in your life soon.

Woah, you were one of the recognizable names that I sometimes just wonder where they went. Did not expect to suddenly get this kind of answer.

Nice to hear you are on an upward movement now at least. I know what it's like quitting a job that just chips on you with stress like that, where key and inherent parts of the working conditions just don't mix with how you operate. I guess I'd just want to say it's important to be able to tell the difference later, when you get a job that can sometimes be rough but will still be worth keeping. It's a hard regret to give up something during a short period of depression just to realise you still wanted it when you recover. >.<

Either way good luck, and I hope you'll stick around for a bit! I like seeing old names on here, slowly turning into the old man on the block for these forums has been too weird.

I remember you! Welcome back. Sounds like you've had a damn rough time, certainly hope things get better.

Hey, welcome back. Forums aren't that active (or fun) lately, but I still frequently check them because... old habits?

Welcome back

Heeey, I do indeed remember you. Welcome back!

Holy shit, you're still alive! Welcome back!

Yeah, I remember good ol' animasta. Sorry to hear you've been going through some hard times. As someone who also suffers from anxiety and used to have debilitating depression, I can certainly empathize. Just take one day at a time :) and stay strong duder (I consider this a gender neutral term here) Hope to see you post more when you can.

And here is a welcome back gift!

Sorry to see things actually went that route, but glad to see they're lookin up.

thanks y'all (I was worried that no one would see it bc I posted it near midnight lol), I'm aiming to post here more because I kinda got stuck on reddit for a while, and while the soccer/trans boards are cool the rest of that site is a dumpster fire.

Things are definitely getting better, even if I'm stuck in a weird middle ground with regards to my health/job, but I like myself a lot more than I used to which makes all the difference in the world.

Also I'm still addicted to football manager, it's the worst

I definitely remember you! I'm sorry you had such a rough go. Best wishes and I hope things progress positively in your life, and that you get the chance to hang around here some more. Welcome back!

I think I remember you! Welcome back, this place is still pretty cool... most of the time.

Hey, welcome back @animasta!

One cool thing to note that changed while you were away was that @turboman's Best of Giant Bomb YouTube videos became officially part of the site. That'd be a great way to catch up on all the Giant Bomb lore that you may have missed. However, this is pretty much all you need to see...

Unless of course you meant that you were simply absent from the forums, and not necessarily the site as a whole. But either way, glad to hear that you're doing better, yo.

Welcome back! Sorry to hear you've been through some rough times, wishing you all the best and glad to hear some positives have been occurring lately. Giant Bomb's still a pretty neat place, for the most part. And a generally positive community too. Wishing you all the best going forward; hope to hear more from you around here!

I actually do remember you, even from the days when I was only lurking in the forums here. Sucks that you had it so rough, I wish you nothing but the best. Keep an eye on that iron deficiency, I know from personal experience how dangerous that can get.

Anyway

welcome home

Yup, I remember seeing you around the forums. Glad to hear things are going better.

BTW, Life is Strange is indeed "dope." I really enjoyed Lightning Returns too. Better than any of the other "XIII" games to me. Gotta disagree a bit on Fallout 4, though. I wouldn't say I liked it as much as 3 or New Vegas, but I still had fun playing it.

Like others, I remember you from some time ago. Sucks that you've had a bit of a rough time earlier this year, but it seems you've come out of it stronger. Good luck.

I've always thought of you as one of the Old Guard. Good to see you back. We have to go dig up @video_game_king.

Hey! I remember you from before. Great to hear that you're doing better after such a rough go of it.

You mentioned makeup and I've recently started dating a girl who is a makeup artist, so there's been more of that in my life recently. Do you happen to follow Jeffree Star or Manny Mua on YouTube? They both do pretty incredible makeup and they're all about creative expression and equality and, really, just promoting being whoever the fuck you want to be. They can both be a lot to take in (it took a while for them to grow on me) but the confidence they exude is pretty infectious.

Life is Strange is pretty fucking awesome. It's really hard to stress how incredible Chloe is, as a character, especially in terms of her struggle and attitude towards the rest of the world. The first episode rubbed me the wrong way but once the ball started rolling it was amazing.

Anyway, welcome back! You're definitely remembered and it's nice to hear from you again.

I remember you! And hey, cool, I also live in Portland. Well, I used to. Recently moved back out to Beaverton/Hillsboro to be closer to work.

Sorry to hear about the rough times. Good to see you back here though. I haven't been a consistent forum poster for quite a while, but I still peruse fairly often and it's always fun to see people from back in the day checking in.

Yay! Welcome back! So glad you are doing alright. Though sounds like it has been a difficult year.

I'm so glad you've gotten to start going full time. That's a big step, and you deserve the peace of just being yourself in public. Plus meeting more local trans people! Tough year but so much good in it, too.

As for games, Lightning Returns -is- dope. heh. :D

Oh hey, I remember you too. That sounds rough but it's great to hear that you're hanging in there. Gotta say, I do agree that Fallout 4 is not so dope!

Welcome back and congrats on openly transitioning :) as a fellow LGBT person, being more visible and honest definitely helped me with my anxiety issues so I wish you the best there.

@mlarrabee: awww, he left? that's sad D:

@metalbaofu: Actually it's mostly the fact that I really really like New Vegas, I consider it the pinnacle of Bethesda-style games, so it's hard for me to care about the story because it's a lot less well written. Also the fact that the fucking robot got angry at me every time I stole something, shut the fuck up it's a post apocalypse what do you want me to do???

@the_nubster: It's both the fact that I bike everywhere pretty much (LETS GET SWEATY), as the bus system only stops around here once an hour, and the fact that I'm very clumsy as a person, so I always feel like I'm doing it wrong... it's pretty hard to get lipstick wrong haha.

@truthtellah: I've been going to a translady meet up group, and there were like 30+ people there a couple weeks ago, so I've been meeting so many haha. It took me a while to actually talk to them 1on1, but I've connected with a few now :D

@jjweatherman: well tbf I actually live in Milwaukie, haha. I like it a lot better than Gresham so far

and thanks to the rest of you! I've felt more welcome here in one post then I ever have at reddit. I guess it's just too big for people to recognize people most of the time...

Welcome back to the greatest web site on the known internet!

Someone I know is transitioning and the situation seems very similar to yours (anxiety affecting jobs, unstable living situation, etc.) So I was wondering if there was anything specific I could do to help them through the process? Obviously I am supportive and made it known I am available to talk but I wonder if there is more I could do.

Welcome back!

@animasta: yay! Meeting more trans folks is great! If you ever want to chat about it, let me know! Folks gotta stick together. <3

Oh, and if you wanted to say hey to VGK, I could let him know. We're still friends on Twitter.

@animasta: Yeah, I can understand that. I kinda liked the opening of the story, but then it just never goes anywhere all that interesting, and the "twist" wasn't much of a twist really, and just fell flat. The exploring/shooting dudes I still found fun, which is the main reason I play those games.

Lakeview? Anyhoo, welcome back!

Memberberries! Welcome back, friend.

@animasta: Welcome back! I also remember you!

Thinking about it, wow, lots of forum people have left. Good to have someone return. I hope things keep getting better for ya. Also yeah, if you have missed a lot of the regular GB stuff like @patchcoat mentioned, @turboman's Best Of is now on the site proper. Great way to get a general feel on what's going on!

I also remember you, and I also almost never post anymore.

Hey everybody, I'm the guy that got engaged to a British girl I met on these forums! I sent Dave and the guys some deep dish pizza, and met them and dropped off a bunch of British candy their first day back in the office after Ryan died and it was super awkward!

Good to see you again though, @animasta. Sorry it's been a bad year for the most part.

Hey buddy, welcome back! Don't feel bad about being away from the ol' forums, sometimes you have to disappear from internet-life to deal with real shit. If you're still into the animes and/or games, we're here for ya. Also some of the older guard (and myself) are on Twitter if you prefer that method.

@animasta

definitely remember you Animasta! And man sounds like you've had a tough year, although it sounds like you've found some social support which is definitely a very important thing to have in life.

I hope things continue to stabilize for you! Take care of yourself!

p.s. You have excellent opinions about all three games you mentioned.

I totally remember you duder! Welcome back, it's good to have you again. I'm sorry to hear about the trouble you have been having the past year. The site has become a bit different since you last joined us but sit back and look around the place' I'm sure you'll like what you see.

@beachthunder: In the Mountains!

@animasta Glad to have another active forum user back from the great beyond (I do remember).