Do you talk to your pets as if they were human?

All the fucking time.

You may have a problem.

As retarded humans.
 
"Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!"

When I'm bored and talking to myself through the animal.

Of course. They're little furry crazy naked people.

Toy? Where's your toy? Hell, you guys aren't that good.

I talk to my dogs like they are awesome.  Luckily, they actually are awesome, so that helps matters.

i talk to my pets all the time!

" All the fucking time. "

Not really, aside from the occasional "goddammit cat!" when one of those furballs tries to trip me up as I'm walking through the house.

All the time. It makes me question my sanity when someone walks in on me doing it and doesn't know how to act.

Yes.

Of course!   When one is doing something that I don't want them to do, I ask "Cat, what are you doing?"  When they are sitting where I want to sit, I say "Sorry cat, but you need to move."

The only word my pets need to hear from me is 'kill'. Conversation is for the weak.

Absolutely not. I talk to my dog like it's a dog.... because it is.

I'm kind of InfamousBIG's ass slave. So I guess you could call me a pet. He only seems to talk to me through grunting noises though. 

" @Claude: My pets ARE human. "

Yes. 
 
Animals are more intelligent than what many people give them credit for. One of my cats, for example, fucking LOVES Dragon Age.

Yeah.  Who doesn't?

" Absolutely not. I talk to my dog like it's a dog.... because it is. "

" As retarded humans.  "Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!" "

When I 'm bored i like to go wake up my cats by bugging and taunting them. Also when I leave and come home if they are by the door I will say hi/bye to them.

" @foggel said:

" As retarded humans.  "Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!" "

Pretty much this "

" As retarded humans.  "Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!" "

I chose aliens, because aliens.

" Yes. I also talk to children like they were animals. A ton of "SIT!" and "STAY!" I don't like kids.  "

Yes. 
 
I dont want to insult my dogs intelligence by talking to him like a dog and I expect the same from him.

*My cat walks in meowing*
"Hello, Ben!"
*MEAAAOOOOOOWW*
"You alrite, mate?"
*MEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOWWW*
*Looks at mouse on the floor lying perfectaly still in fear*
*Goes to walk over to the mouse to put it in a bush somewhere*
*Cat quickly picks it up and I hear a crunch sound*
"Ben!!"
"Good cat ^_________^"
 
That's as far as any dialogue gets.

yes i do. i say like who is a happy cat? who's a happy cat? skattle is a happy cat.  i call my other cat blacky. i yell blacky a lot of times.

" yes i do. i say like who is a happy cat? who's a happy cat? skattle is a happy cat.  i call my other cat blacky. i yell blacky a lot of times. "

Cats are neither human,animal or alien they are abominations that must be destroyed

My dog is less than a year old and I talk to it like we're stuck in an abusive relationship. 
 
"God dammit can you NOT leave your shit everywhere? YOU RESPECT MY AREA OF THE ROOM WHEN I'M NOT HOME OR I WILL SLAP YOU"

For sure.

kind of, but not in that creepy "does that person realize he's talking to an animal?" kind of way. 
 
But they totally understand some shit, man. And they like it, too.

Yes, sometimes. I don't sit down and attempt conversation, but I'll talk at them. I never "baby talk" pets, because I typically find that pretty irritating when people do that all the time.

my dogs seem to always understand me, they just lack the vocal chords to talk back to me :(

Rarely. I usually tell them to shut up or be quiet, as if it would have an effect. Shouting usually works though.

yes but it never works. i think "dude get off my bed" translates to "roll around more" in cat.

It's OK to talk to your pets. Only seek help if they start talking back.

Aliens.  Just aliens.

I like the confused stare my dog gives me when I talk to her.

Yes I do, because honestly, I bet they are smarter than a decent amount people. Sometimes I ask myself how some people graduated from high school.

" All the fucking time. "

" As retarded humans.  "Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!" "

"Baby talk" is strictly out, this is more like five-year-old level talking.