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Avatar image for claude
#1 Posted by Claude (16657 posts) -
Avatar image for claude
#2 Posted by Claude (16657 posts) -

All the fucking time.

Avatar image for scarace360
#3 Posted by scarace360 (4813 posts) -

You may have a problem.

Avatar image for foggel
#4 Posted by foggel (2779 posts) -

As retarded humans.
 
"Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!"

Avatar image for sethphotopoulos
#5 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5777 posts) -

When I'm bored and talking to myself through the animal.

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#6 Posted by Ragdrazi (2258 posts) -

Of course. They're little furry crazy naked people.

Avatar image for claude
#7 Posted by Claude (16657 posts) -

Toy? Where's your toy? Hell, you guys aren't that good.

Avatar image for jakob187
#8 Edited by jakob187 (22940 posts) -

I talk to my dogs like they are awesome.  Luckily, they actually are awesome, so that helps matters.

Avatar image for magicol_trevor
#9 Posted by MaGicol_Trevor (15 posts) -

i talk to my pets all the time!

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#10 Posted by mylifeforAiur (3538 posts) -
@Claude said:
" All the fucking time. "
I fucking hear ya, bro!
Avatar image for dochaus
#11 Posted by DocHaus (2458 posts) -

Not really, aside from the occasional "goddammit cat!" when one of those furballs tries to trip me up as I'm walking through the house.

Avatar image for kingofpeanuts
#12 Posted by kingofpeanuts (566 posts) -

All the time. It makes me question my sanity when someone walks in on me doing it and doesn't know how to act.

Avatar image for redbullet685
#13 Posted by Redbullet685 (6456 posts) -

Yes.

Avatar image for lochnessie82
#14 Posted by LochNessie82 (43 posts) -

Of course!   When one is doing something that I don't want them to do, I ask "Cat, what are you doing?"  When they are sitting where I want to sit, I say "Sorry cat, but you need to move."

Avatar image for markwahlberg
#15 Posted by MarkWahlberg (4714 posts) -

The only word my pets need to hear from me is 'kill'. Conversation is for the weak.

Avatar image for infamousbig
#16 Posted by InfamousBIG (3308 posts) -
@Claude: My pets ARE human.
Avatar image for face15
#17 Posted by face15 (1381 posts) -

Absolutely not. I talk to my dog like it's a dog.... because it is.

Avatar image for jorbear
#18 Edited by jorbear (2570 posts) -

I'm kind of InfamousBIG's ass slave. So I guess you could call me a pet. He only seems to talk to me through grunting noises though. 

Avatar image for claude
#19 Posted by Claude (16657 posts) -
@InfamousBIG said:
" @Claude: My pets ARE human. "
You don't count, you are your pets' pet. Pretty, pretty... pet.
Avatar image for charlesalanratliff
#20 Posted by CharlesAlanRatliff (5727 posts) -

Yes. 
 
Animals are more intelligent than what many people give them credit for. One of my cats, for example, fucking LOVES Dragon Age.

Avatar image for jjor64
#21 Posted by JJOR64 (19692 posts) -

Yeah.  Who doesn't?

Avatar image for guyzea
#22 Posted by Guyzea (801 posts) -

I talk to my dog like a would a person. He understands when I say "Here" and "Let's go" because he gets excited and runs all over the house. He knows that it's either for food or to go outside.

Avatar image for stinky
#23 Edited by stinky (1564 posts) -
@face15 said:

" Absolutely not. I talk to my dog like it's a dog.... because it is. "

 
you bark at it? 
thats even weirder dude.  thats like a conversation neither of you can understand.
 
me, i'm a grown man that reverts to baby talk to cats. no apologies. 
Avatar image for aronman
#24 Posted by Aronman789 (2738 posts) -
@foggel said:
" As retarded humans.  "Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!" "
Pretty much this
Avatar image for hockeymask27
#25 Posted by hockeymask27 (3696 posts) -

When I 'm bored i like to go wake up my cats by bugging and taunting them. Also when I leave and come home if they are by the door I will say hi/bye to them.

Avatar image for enigma777
#26 Posted by Enigma777 (6285 posts) -
@Aronman789 said:
" @foggel said:
" As retarded humans.  "Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!" "
Pretty much this "
Same here.
Avatar image for benpack
#27 Posted by BenPack (3327 posts) -
@foggel said:
" As retarded humans.  "Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!" "
I do this, but then I also regularly converse with my dog as if he was a proper English gentleman.
Staff
Avatar image for wickedcestus
#28 Posted by WickedCestus (3781 posts) -

I chose aliens, because aliens.

Avatar image for claude
#29 Posted by Claude (16657 posts) -
@doublezeroduck said:
" Yes. I also talk to children like they were animals. A ton of "SIT!" and "STAY!" I don't like kids.  "
Kids suck before three, or so I've heard. And they're gross. My dog's balls are cleaner. And he doesn't have any.
Avatar image for sadpatrol
#30 Posted by SadPatrol (529 posts) -

Yes. 
 
I dont want to insult my dogs intelligence by talking to him like a dog and I expect the same from him.

Avatar image for scooper
#31 Posted by Scooper (7920 posts) -

*My cat walks in meowing*
"Hello, Ben!"
*MEAAAOOOOOOWW*
"You alrite, mate?"
*MEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOWWW*
*Looks at mouse on the floor lying perfectaly still in fear*
*Goes to walk over to the mouse to put it in a bush somewhere*
*Cat quickly picks it up and I hear a crunch sound*
"Ben!!"
"Good cat ^_________^"
 
That's as far as any dialogue gets.

Avatar image for iam3green
#32 Posted by iam3green (14368 posts) -

yes i do. i say like who is a happy cat? who's a happy cat? skattle is a happy cat.  i call my other cat blacky. i yell blacky a lot of times.

Avatar image for claude
#33 Posted by Claude (16657 posts) -
@iam3green said:
" yes i do. i say like who is a happy cat? who's a happy cat? skattle is a happy cat.  i call my other cat blacky. i yell blacky a lot of times. "
Who's playin' a video game? iam3green is playin' a videogame. Play good now, you play good. That's a good iam3green.
Avatar image for smokay
#34 Posted by Smokay (543 posts) -

Cats are neither human,animal or alien they are abominations that must be destroyed

Avatar image for fcksnap
#35 Posted by FCKSNAP (2338 posts) -

My dog is less than a year old and I talk to it like we're stuck in an abusive relationship. 
 
"God dammit can you NOT leave your shit everywhere? YOU RESPECT MY AREA OF THE ROOM WHEN I'M NOT HOME OR I WILL SLAP YOU"

Avatar image for clinkz
#36 Posted by Clinkz (1116 posts) -

For sure.

Avatar image for pinworm45
#37 Posted by Pinworm45 (4069 posts) -

kind of, but not in that creepy "does that person realize he's talking to an animal?" kind of way. 
 
But they totally understand some shit, man. And they like it, too.

Avatar image for clarke0
#38 Posted by clarke0 (1082 posts) -

Yes, sometimes. I don't sit down and attempt conversation, but I'll talk at them. I never "baby talk" pets, because I typically find that pretty irritating when people do that all the time.

Avatar image for marz
#39 Posted by Marz (6072 posts) -

my dogs seem to always understand me, they just lack the vocal chords to talk back to me :(

Avatar image for weltal
#40 Posted by Weltal (2304 posts) -

Rarely. I usually tell them to shut up or be quiet, as if it would have an effect. Shouting usually works though.

Avatar image for onimonkii
#41 Posted by onimonkii (2580 posts) -

yes but it never works. i think "dude get off my bed" translates to "roll around more" in cat.

Avatar image for pweidman
#42 Posted by pweidman (2624 posts) -

Oh yeah I do, but to be honest, it too often involves cursing and threats upon their lives.0.0  LOL ,but they're used to grumpy daddy :).
Avatar image for parademise
#43 Posted by GunnBjorn (2905 posts) -

No, beating them up is more effective (then they're actually quiet and that's what I want them to be after a hard days work) and even way more satisfying (as in stress-relieving). It's a good thing I do not have a wife/girlfriend and/or children.
Avatar image for mcghee
#44 Posted by McGhee (6128 posts) -

It's OK to talk to your pets. Only seek help if they start talking back.

Avatar image for rjayb89
#45 Posted by rjayb89 (7811 posts) -

Aliens.  Just aliens.

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#46 Posted by FancySoapsMan (5919 posts) -

I like the confused stare my dog gives me when I talk to her.

Avatar image for subjugation
#47 Posted by Subjugation (4970 posts) -

Yes I do, because honestly, I bet they are smarter than a decent amount people. Sometimes I ask myself how some people graduated from high school.

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#48 Posted by Afroman269 (7440 posts) -
@Claude said:
" All the fucking time. "
Avatar image for everettescott
#49 Posted by EveretteScott (1649 posts) -
@foggel said:
" As retarded humans.  "Woooooooow!! Where did you get that leaf? That looks beautiful! So big, good job!" "
=D
Avatar image for skald
#50 Posted by Skald (4440 posts) -

"Baby talk" is strictly out, this is more like five-year-old level talking.