Four sacks aren't babies. Don't try to fool me.

Hey all, I've got some (somewhat) crazy stuff going on at school. I needed to write it down, and have someone to feel my pain. 
 
So last week, we had the annual "floursac" project at my school. It's basically where you carry around a 10 lb flour sack for a week to teach why sex is bad. And yeah, it's about as effective as it sounds. So anyway, we were given the choice between carry this sack of crap around all week, or writing a 20 page essay about why babies are bad, sex is bad, and how public schools have no right to inflict their views on me if I don't agree with them  (I guess that wasn't actually part of it, but it makes up a good part of mine). In any case, I was going to do the flour sack bit because I figured it wouldn't be SO bad, so I brought in my sack and a basket to carry it around in. Well, my teacher (who fucking hates me because I am sarcastic to her and avidly disagree with her on most things) decides than in addition to having a floursack, it must also have clothes and a diaper bag with actual stuff in it or I would fail the project. It was about that time I decided that this wasn't worth it, and I chose to do the 20 page essay and let the rest of my class wallow in self loathing for the next week. 
 
In any case, I was the ONLY one in my grade to chose to do the report (which doesn't really bother me, i'm okay with being different and such) and my report is going to be... A piece of work. I do try to cover as much as I can, but I really detest Health class as it's very unneeded (you don't need it to graduate, colleges don't require it, there's no real tests or actual information I learn, the teacher is annoying, etc.) and it makes it very hard for me to not take a few shots at the class in my report (most are pretty vague, though).  
 
I'm a good student, I really am. I get A's, I do my homework, teachers love me (except that one, even though she does like me, just not when I use sarcasm and such). I don't mean to come here and bitch about how my life sucks, because it doesn't. I'm happy to do my report, I chose it anyway. Here's what I REALLY wanted to show you: 
 

Hey all, I've got some (somewhat) crazy stuff going on at school. I needed to write it down, and have someone to feel my pain. 
 
So last week, we had the annual "floursac" project at my school. It's basically where you carry around a 10 lb flour sack for a week to teach why sex is bad. And yeah, it's about as effective as it sounds. So anyway, we were given the choice between carry this sack of crap around all week, or writing a 20 page essay about why babies are bad, sex is bad, and how public schools have no right to inflict their views on me if I don't agree with them  (I guess that wasn't actually part of it, but it makes up a good part of mine). In any case, I was going to do the flour sack bit because I figured it wouldn't be SO bad, so I brought in my sack and a basket to carry it around in. Well, my teacher (who fucking hates me because I am sarcastic to her and avidly disagree with her on most things) decides than in addition to having a floursack, it must also have clothes and a diaper bag with actual stuff in it or I would fail the project. It was about that time I decided that this wasn't worth it, and I chose to do the 20 page essay and let the rest of my class wallow in self loathing for the next week. 
 
In any case, I was the ONLY one in my grade to chose to do the report (which doesn't really bother me, i'm okay with being different and such) and my report is going to be... A piece of work. I do try to cover as much as I can, but I really detest Health class as it's very unneeded (you don't need it to graduate, colleges don't require it, there's no real tests or actual information I learn, the teacher is annoying, etc.) and it makes it very hard for me to not take a few shots at the class in my report (most are pretty vague, though).  
 
I'm a good student, I really am. I get A's, I do my homework, teachers love me (except that one, even though she does like me, just not when I use sarcasm and such). I don't mean to come here and bitch about how my life sucks, because it doesn't. I'm happy to do my report, I chose it anyway. Here's what I REALLY wanted to show you: 
 

Sorry but i cant see how it can look like it says Little Blands ... ?

hahaha you think you've got it bad, at my highschool we actually had baby dolls that would cry randomly, need to be "fed" and even piss themselves. A wristband was put on you that could only be properly removed with a special device, so the "parent" had no way of escaping their torment. Oh, the baby also recorded everything you did to it including how many times you didnt answer its cries or how many times you let its head fall back. After your time was up the baby spat a little receipt out its ass containing said info and you were graded accordingly. and yes, this is all true.

" @Kazzurak:  I figured this would be the case. I guess I just suck.  "

The only good essays are the ones with potshots snuck in them. It's the only way I could preserve my sanity in high school. And if it's really 20 frikkin pages, there's a lot of room to hide snarky comments in, because there's no way a teachers gonna read all that.  And holy balls does that floursac idea sound dumb.
 
So basically I agree with you on everything besides the 'little blands' thing, which I'm totally not seeing.

damn 20 pages is gonna be fun.

Here's a quote from my report, dealing with conception and how our Health class pisses me off: 
 
 "Onwards, then, into the unknown.   The first stage of having an infant is the stage that is cleverly referred to as Conception. Now make of this what you will, and this is neither the time nor the paper for this concept to be described in detail. That being said, even if this was the time or place, this section seems very against the ideals of the entire Health class, seeing as we’re put on such a strict “abstinence-only” program. In fact, it seems odd that I would be asked to describe this function at all, seeing as this assignment is for the very same class that forbids the knowledge of such a practice in any way shape or form. I have never asked a snake to write a report on why mice are good for eating, because such things are not explained and are just known to the snake. As is it in this case, except in an even more strict way." 
 
This is probably the least vague part, but you get the idea. 

Write your paper with the following sentence just copied and pasted over and over:
 
 
 In the United States, ABORTION IS FUCKING LEGAL. 

Uh what the fuck kind of a school do you go to?

We learn how to put on condoms in our health class.

In my opinion it's a better way of learning kids how to deal with sex to begin with; if they want to have sex they'll do it anyway. That bag o flour wont stop em. They might do it responsibly though if they knew how to!

I don't remember ever going through this in school, not the specifics either, I mean I don't remember any sort of health class at all. I think I missed it, which might be good considering those classes are always stupid. But how much of school life did I simply not go through?
 
That being said, I would most likely steal some flour from the bags, because it seems as if I'm always low on the stuff. Which would force me to go through the essay route, in which large amounts of snark would be used just like in my World History class.

Number one way to take care of babies: don't have babies. Done. 

I use to do this as...a church activity.

Health class is awesome, I don't know what you're talking about.

"So last week, we had the annual "floursac" project at my school. It's basically where you carry around a 10 lb flour sack for a week to teach why sex is bad. "

" Number one way to take care of babies: don't have babies. Done.  "

I don't see how it says blands and also, Strawberry and carrot sounds like a disgusting combination.

You should have just jizzed all over the flour bag.

Wait a second. What... the fuck. Didn't realize your schools were so damn hardcore. What state are you in? In New York, I didn't have to do anything like that for my Health class. Hell, I can't even remember a single thing I did in that class. All I remember is the slide show about genital warts. Most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

My school does the whole dumb 'fake baby' thing. Although we had it in Junior high, and we had the same crying doll things too.  
 
Luckily, it wasn't part of health class; for us it was part of an elective called Life (basically Home Ec), which, if you weren't an idiot and you took Spanish like I did, you didn't have to take.  Yay! 
 
 So, I'm sorry I can't relate to you on the whole toy baby project, but I did have to take Health class. Some of that stuff is disturbing. They made us watch a baby being born in 7th grade. Shit was fucked up.  
 
Also, anyone who considers Sex Ed to be "5 minutes looking at assorted contraceptives before moving on to an entire days worth of ' Here's a picture of Gonorrhea ' ... needs to be shot. 
 
You can't unsee that stuff man. 
 
@Geno said:

" Number one way to take care of babies: don't have babies. Done.  "

Huh. You're a better student than I was in high school. I would have said I was going to do the paper. Then I would have proceeded to not do it.

My school did this but with the more life-like dolls. That was back in 6th grade health, which was pointless back then. Then freshman year of high school we had to take health class again, and actually talked about sex and other health related things.  

 I still don't see the point of middle school health when we take it again in high school and actually learn stuff. Its actually a requirement for graduation.

" @Geno said:

" Number one way to take care of babies: don't have babies. Done.  "

There's a reason hamsters eat their young.    It's because they're delicious.    Eat your babies. "

You should've accepted the flour sack, then made a cake with it and presented it to your teacher. 

" @Geno: Depends on when you bake the cake. If you do it after the project, then it would be delicious, but anytime before that would be considered cannibalism and the teacher would probably vomit. That is if the teacher really takes the project seriously. "

I've seen people around my school do the same. The baby came with a pacifier and feeding spoon or something. And it starts crying until you give it what it wants. It must have been really embarrassing for the people doing this assignment when the baby started crying in science class and they couldn't get it to step for 15 minutes. Then they had to take it to the health teacher to find out that the sensor was busted.

" @Snipzor said:

" @Geno: Depends on when you bake the cake. If you do it after the project, then it would be delicious, but anytime before that would be considered cannibalism and the teacher would probably vomit. That is if the teacher really takes the project seriously. "

she does, and way too much. On the LAST day of the project, a guy threw his floursack 3 inches into the air and caught it safely. Unfortunately, she saw him, and claimed that he had "broken the baby's neck". He failed the project (He was about 15 minutes from an "A"). "

" @Snipzor said:

" @Geno: Depends on when you bake the cake. If you do it after the project, then it would be delicious, but anytime before that would be considered cannibalism and the teacher would probably vomit. That is if the teacher really takes the project seriously. "

she does, and way too much. On the LAST day of the project, a guy threw his floursack 3 inches into the air and caught it safely. Unfortunately, she saw him, and claimed that he had "broken the baby's neck". He failed the project (He was about 15 minutes from an "A"). "

Luckily my health teacher didn't do any of that stupid stuff, however my friend's health teacher made him carry around an egg which they had to make cribs for or something. There was a third health teacher that actually made people pair up and carry around babies but  he was on a different track.