Indian screams and tryptophan dreams.

Dalai

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Edited By Dalai

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year where the entire population of the United States gains 5 pounds and takes a nap in unison. On the 4th Thursday of November, we celebrate the deadly sin of gluttony and the slaughtering of millions of Native Americans in order to host extravagant parades, eat turkey, and fight with our in-laws a month before Christmas. It is one of the best times of the year... no school or work for anyone... unless you count all the cooking and table setting that has to be done, lots of food to eat, Detroit Lions football, and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. It's a time to reflect, give thanks, and plan for the Black Friday deals at Sears.

Thanksgiving is also a difficult time for those who are less fortunate... vegans. Thousands of PETA sympathizers scream in protest of Thanksgiving and its barbaric rituals such as the combining of turkey, duck, and chicken to form the superbird known as turducken. To them, the slaughtering, preparing, stuffing, and cooking of a delicious bird is considered cruel and unusual punishment, but to the rest of us, it's tasty, hilarious, and quite usual. So when you're gnawing on that leg, just remember that there are millions of crazy people forcing down their tofurkey so you can have an extra turkey this year.

As we dine in front of friends, we give thanks to the great things that happened in our lives. I am grateful for the typical things, of course... good health, good friends, Giant Bomb, the demise of Circuit City, and Luchadeer who is taking over for Santa Claus this year. I am thankful for the stampeding mothers who will crush each other to get their hands on a Wii or 360 for their kids... and most of all, the multitude of games that came out the past few months. There are also some things I'm not thankful for... a shitty economy, the commercialization of Christmas, and the Christmas decorations, commercials, and songs that bleed out just after Halloween. Jesus and Santa didn't plan on taking over November from the pilgrims and Indians.

Before you take your annual tryptophan-induced nap, make sure to take time to talk with your friends and family around the fireplace or the grease fire caused by your deep-fried turkey and talk about the good old days. But, don't get too polite and pleasant with them, don't forget to throw some fists and bitch about the tiniest things.

So to everyone at Giant Bomb, I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. Now get the fuck off my lawn!

15 years ago

Dalai

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#1 Edited By Dalai

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year where the entire population of the United States gains 5 pounds and takes a nap in unison. On the 4th Thursday of November, we celebrate the deadly sin of gluttony and the slaughtering of millions of Native Americans in order to host extravagant parades, eat turkey, and fight with our in-laws a month before Christmas. It is one of the best times of the year... no school or work for anyone... unless you count all the cooking and table setting that has to be done, lots of food to eat, Detroit Lions football, and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. It's a time to reflect, give thanks, and plan for the Black Friday deals at Sears.

Thanksgiving is also a difficult time for those who are less fortunate... vegans. Thousands of PETA sympathizers scream in protest of Thanksgiving and its barbaric rituals such as the combining of turkey, duck, and chicken to form the superbird known as turducken. To them, the slaughtering, preparing, stuffing, and cooking of a delicious bird is considered cruel and unusual punishment, but to the rest of us, it's tasty, hilarious, and quite usual. So when you're gnawing on that leg, just remember that there are millions of crazy people forcing down their tofurkey so you can have an extra turkey this year.

As we dine in front of friends, we give thanks to the great things that happened in our lives. I am grateful for the typical things, of course... good health, good friends, Giant Bomb, the demise of Circuit City, and Luchadeer who is taking over for Santa Claus this year. I am thankful for the stampeding mothers who will crush each other to get their hands on a Wii or 360 for their kids... and most of all, the multitude of games that came out the past few months. There are also some things I'm not thankful for... a shitty economy, the commercialization of Christmas, and the Christmas decorations, commercials, and songs that bleed out just after Halloween. Jesus and Santa didn't plan on taking over November from the pilgrims and Indians.

Before you take your annual tryptophan-induced nap, make sure to take time to talk with your friends and family around the fireplace or the grease fire caused by your deep-fried turkey and talk about the good old days. But, don't get too polite and pleasant with them, don't forget to throw some fists and bitch about the tiniest things.

So to everyone at Giant Bomb, I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. Now get the fuck off my lawn!

15 years ago

brukaoru

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#2 Edited By brukaoru

Let us not forget the wonderful edition of Cooking Mama created by PETA! :D

Happy Thanksgiving Dalai!

Excellent blog post, by the way.

15 years ago

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