This reply is I guess in two parts: Pre-dating, and post-dating. Now I'm no expert, I guess I usually do ok with talking to ladies. I do have a tendency to dissect social interactions and find ways to improve it.
Pre-dating:
Its generally a good rule to follow that if you're confused if the girl is interested or not, especially if you're wondering if the signs you think you're seeing are actual signs, as true. Its easier to plow forward and cautiously back down in a "I was just kidding" manner than to come off as a saintly guy who doesn't acknowledge any natural tensions between male and female. If you ignore the tension, you will come off as too socially-awkward. If you acknowledge it, then you're a normal guy with all that testosterone lying around. They kinda know its there and will feel extremely weird if you don't say anything about it.
Try something like, for example, when both of you are talking to someone else, and standing beside each other, (Facing the direction of the third person you're talking to) calmly, sidle by her while simultaneously talking to the third person, put your arm around her lower back and your hand on her opposite waist. This is a sort of natural "over shoulder" arm hug. (Except its prettier, and not over her shoulder, it goes around her lower back ending on her opposite waist.) And no, don't put your hand on her ass. This, for all intents and purposes, is a side-hug.
If you succeed, this comes off as a natural standing gesture where you both will be comfortable with, at least for a few seconds. Finish your sentence naturally, keeping your side-hug, then let either her or third party say something then just calmly break it off by stepping a little away, gesturing, if possible, if you were speaking at the time.
Now, this was a quick test. You're supposed to see how she would react to this. If this is any at all awkward or she looks like she's not receiving this hug well, then you either messed up or she's not too interested. (That can be changed, but that's another discussion altogether.) The tendency of a side-hug is that her arm where you sidle with will need to move out of her side so you can close the gap. Once you initiate the hug, she'll move this arm elsewhere. The best scenario is if she puts her arm around your own back as well. Thereby making a two-way side-hug. (Actually the best scenario is, if she accepts the side hug and turns her angle more towards you to accept it as a front hug.) If she just accepts it, then you're ok. If she looks uncomfortable, break it off immediately, pretending something made you uncomfortable. (Eg. her tweed sweater) Try to mime that well if you can. Generally just stepping away quickly and gesturing with your hands to interrupt the conversation or even breaking off to check your watch are good, natural mimes to make the quick breakoff look effortless.
Whichever the case, don't ever stay for more longer than about 3 sentences worth of talk. Don't ever stay longer than she feels comfortable with. Always be the one to break it off. If she is the one who breaks it off you'll never be allowed to use the same hug again because she'll want to break it off again.
Some other, more quicker uses of this is when pointing at something and/or whispering. Pointing at something generally makes the other person move their head much closer to yours in eye level and look at what you're hand is pointing at. This natural movement of closing the gap between your faces is obviously also complimented by getting closer side-by-side. This tends to make your shoulders and arms get in the way, and the most natural way to get rid of them and make sure the other person is close enough is to put it around their waist. You can break it off as soon as you finish telling her why you wanted to direct her attention. Finding something to point at is amazingly easy. Try something like "that girl used to date my friend". Or "check out that hat. I want one." Or "ehh look at that. I don't think bright yellow leggings do her any favors." Fashion and relationships pique their interest like crazy. When you have nothing to point to, whispering works too. Whispering is sort of intimate. Its like you have a secret between you two and she likes this, and it looks good to everybody else as well. Applies to this side-hug thing as much as the pointing does. While normal-spaced apart, make eye contact and make a "come here, listen" gesture. This thing always makes them curious. She'll get closer and you do the usual waist hug to anchor it in and whisper. Pick a topic that wouldn't be acceptably said openly and must be whispered. While I've mostly stuck with common friend relationship rumors like "I heard jim and sarah are fighting/dating now." Maybe you can try making something up if you don't have any topics like, "so, I think one of my friends is gay." I usually keep it lighthearted though, because I optionally pause in the middle of my whisper, mime a sniffing action, and do a quick topic change into "are you wearing perfume? mmm." then before they answer or before it goes into that tangent, I go back to finish the whisper.
Ok, I think I'll cut it short here, I've dug a pretty deep rabbit hole it seems.
Post-dating:
It seems she was genuinely interested pre-dating, but post-dating was a mess. I'm going to gather that she must have lost interest after finding out what you were like during your 2 dates. Without too much detail on what happened on those first 2, I'm just going to assume she must have either become bored or found out you were not as interesting as she initially thought. (Her first impression must have thought you were an exciting guy who she wants to find out more about.) Like I said, I'm no expert, and without the details of the dates I'm merely assuming here. What you would want to do on dates is make it unusual and exciting. Don't do dinner, movie, that sort of thing. Especially movies. You're spending 2-3 hours mostly not talking to each other and randomly laughing at jokes the screen says, and not genuinely laughing because you're having a good time with each other. Movies is a good time. But not necessarily a good time with each other. You want to be doing some hopping around and spontaneous exploring. Try a few museums, a nice caffe (where the baristas know you by name), then a bookstore, bring your dog (if that's allowed where you're planning to go, or if your place is nearby return to it and pick your dog up to throw frisbees in the park for a short time), take your dog back and continue the "date" by going, maybe for pizza, or a pint, or watch your friend's band. Then that would normally make her comfortable in being in your place enough so when you invite her later for a sip of wine (or whatever) she won't feel weird.
Anyway, the multiple venues is great because it makes her subconscious think that you've been on multiple dates already. It gives her a ton of fun memories and will not remember half her day after that - and this is a good thing. It makes it look like you've been dating forever. She gets a great idea of an adventurous slice of your life and people you meet and things you do. Compare this to one dinner and/or movie - all she remembers is one place, one conversation, and one movie. She meets nobody, she interacts with you very little, and has terribly no fun at all. At the end of the day it will look like a forgettable moment in her life and she will relate this forgettability to your personality. If it was unusually fun however, she will relate the fun to you, and without you, she'll deduce that she won't be having fun at all. Besides, she really likes your beagle/terrier/whatever.
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That said, all these things I've mentioned might be already what you're doing, and you're probably a ton more knowledgeable than I am at this, so take it all with a grain of salt.
here have a cookie :) don't forget to touch her shoulder. she sounds like a gold digger lol. "
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