Ever been in one? How'd it go? Maybe in my future is one, it's a strong possibility. Just want to hear how your experience is going/went. I've already braced myself for, "Avoid at all costs."
Long-Distance Relationships.
Really, if you have ANY doubts, chances are it is going to fail.
You really gotta commit to it. It's stressful as hell, you're always worrying.
A better way to go about it would be "If we happen to still be single when we meet then we will go out"
Someone's gonna cheat on someone else and lie about it.....all downhill from there. Avoid at all costs.
I'm in one at the moment. Going strong for a year now. A bit more than two weeks of which have been spent together in the physical sense. It's tough. It's really, REALLY tough. But it can definetly be done. If you're both fully commited. I mean if you're already in love with someone then there's not a whole lot you can do about it, but definetly don't go looking for one. It's way, way too tough for that.
"If we happen to still be single when we meet then we will go out" "Basically this. I nearly got into one but we changed our minds the week before I moved. Doing something like that takes real commitment and it's better not to be tied down when you have chances to meet new people while you're young, IMO.
" @KaosAngel: I dont think you can stick your dick through a phone. If you want to prove me wrong do so. "I'd post something but it breaks the TOS. :|
Speaking of long-distance, I'm watching some movie called Long Distance with a buddy tomorrow so it shall be interesting.
She didn't want to watch Machete. :(
If you've met this person IN person before and all the insecurities you two could have are behind you then it should be fine...probably even better then local if the both of you enjoy your free time.
But if it's some weird internet relationship and you're both creating weird ideologies of each other, then yeah, it could turn ta shit real fast.
Make sure you really want it, because it is going to take a lot of trust. If it works, it can be awesome. Of course, you always hope your long-distance partner doesn't cheat on you and dump you on Christmas. That one hurts...
Depends on the distance.
It sucks man, And it's worse if you don't fully trust the other person,
Unless there is something there and it isn't lust, and you have been in a good relationship for awhile, then I'd advise against it, doesn't mean you cant be friends with that person,
You both have to think about what's best, But dude, unless you have a child together or you have been together for ages and there is actually something there don't do it.
" I was In a long distance relationship for about 3 years and it worked out pretty fine but we kinda just grew apart once I started college but we are still good friends now and see each other every now and again I wouldn't avoid a long distance relationship just make sure your fully prepared for alot of travel and most of all just have trust for your partner "Yeah...with that avatar, I read your entire post as if you were talking about your hamster.
Me and my girlfriend have been in one and it was very difficult but, in the end, completely worth it. I know it's stupid to get serious on forums but if you're with the person you truly love then you can make anything possible. It's difficult being away from the one you care about but I always just felt the need to try harder- especially when we saw each other. It always just reaffirmed what I already knew- it was worth it. Now things are great. Of course now she's going to Spain for 3 months to study abroad (D'oh!) so we're going long distance again but thankfully it's not for too long and our relationship is stronger than ever.
" They're good if you've met them before. "Actually a pretty significant point, and a distinction that needs to be made.
I think the viability of a long-distance relationship is a lot better if the relationship itself started whilst the two parties were together in person. For fairly obvious reasons: trust issues are usually less of a concern, since the two of you (ought to) know each other pretty well beforehand. Moreover, it's just easier to relate and care about a person you have been with in person. The thing is real already, in this case, and it's more a matter of keeping your partner's spirits up.
Otherwise, you're dealing with a relationship that is founded on very little tangible knowledge. If you've not met the person in real life, and haven't seen how they are in their native social habitats, or know for yourself their idiosyncratic personality traits with other people, it's difficult (but not impossible, mind) to stay totally positive about the outcome of the thing. There's a sort of creeping doubt involved. And that is exactly the sort of toxin that can damage the relationship early, before it ever comes into fruition.
Either way, long-distance relationships are particularly stressful. It's tough not being able to see the person and go out on the town with them, much less hold and kiss and all that romantic jive, too. But if you really like the person, and you feel they like you back, and the two of you are both willing to try these ropes, then I'd argue it's probably more satisfying than no relationship at all, if that's what you're looking for.
I had one for two years, and I'm glad to say it worked. We're married now (have been for over 10 years!). It was painful at times, but when we were together we focused on each other because we knew it was only a short time that we had together before the next stretch of apart. The hardest thing was when we finally moved in together. We were used to seeing each other in short bursts. It was an adjustment. Those things you didn't have time to fight about when you were only seeing each other two days every month, well, you have the time to fight about them when you go full time. But if things are strong you'll sort it all out. We did. But based on the comments here, it sounds like I'm in the minority. I say give it ago. It could work out just like it worked out for me.
" I had one for two years, and I'm glad to say it worked. We're married now (have been for over 10 years!). It was painful at times, but when we were together we focused on each other because we knew it was only a short time that we had together before the next stretch of apart. The hardest thing was when we finally moved in together. We were used to seeing each other in short bursts. It was an adjustment. Those things you didn't have time to fight about when you were only seeing each other two days every month, well, you have the time to fight about them when you go full time. But if things are strong you'll sort it all out. We did. But based on the comments here, it sounds like I'm in the minority. I say give it ago. It could work out just like it worked out for me. "Just letting you know, this made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you.
Been in one for over ten years and I like it that way. I live with her for months at a time but I'm a nomad at heart and need to have time by myself.
I wasn't going to reply to this at first, since I figured it's no one's bussiness, but I really want to give my two cents about long distance relationships since I am in one myself.
Let's first make one thing very clear: it is hard. At times almost unbearably so. I live in Europe, while she lives in the US. This means I only get to see her once or twice a year, and leaving becomes harder every single time. It also doesn't help that I want to get a visa, but we keep coming accross speedbumbs that hinder that goal. If it were any other person, I would have thrown in the towel a year ago.
But it's not any other person. She is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And if it means going through hell to get to that point, then so be it. Some may call me stupid, or claim that I am clinging on to false hope, but there is no doubt in my mind that she is the one, and I will fight tooth-and-nail to get that visa, marry her, and live my life with her until I die.
The point I'm trying to make is, it all depends on how strongly you feel about the person. If you are absolutely sure about your relationship, and are without doubt about wanting to be with that person, then you absolutely can overcome all the hardships that come with it. If there is doubt, or your feelings for each other just aren't strong enough, then it will ultimately fail. But personally, I think that in that case the relationship would fail even if the relationship wasn't long distance.
In my case, failure is not an option.
"It's not worth it. I tried it...and even sex over the cellphone got dull. I'd just pretend to be into it and I think she was too...would be surprised if she was cooking or some shit while we were trying it. It's not worth it, just move on. "
If you're creative and passionate about your lover on the other end of the line, i dont see how that can get dull at all.
Everyone here makes just about the same valid points. If you and your significant other are not absolutely, 100% committed to making things work, it won't work. Once someone stops putting forth effort, the whole thing falls apart. It's much easier to have a casual relationship than a strong long-distance relationship, just about anyone can tell you that.
I take a practical view on relationships. It is hypothetically possible to have a "long distance relationship", but I find that the nature of mutual gain doesn't favor long distances, especially when you're young. You can't share much of anything because you're too far apart (one benefit is "We only need to buy one copy of game X when it comes out").
I think a long distance relationship that is condemned to being long distance without a visible end is doomed to fail. I also think that too much time spent separately will contribute to people growing apart.
I largely think they don't work because it undermines too much of what a "relationship" fundamentally is, but if it's "only for a little while" you might try it. I told my girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) years ago that I didn't think long distance relationships worked and I wouldn't be in one myself, and my views haven't changed much.
Through my experience long distance relationships don't work, but that's just me.
A few varying factions have to be taken into consideration beforehand, those include the obvious...how long is long and for how long? The other would be, how long you've been dating and what kinda of relationship you have, physical or otherwise. I think for a long distance relationship to work requires a certain amount of sacrifice and commitment from both parties.
Long distance relationships suck and I will never try it again. Temptation is a bitch and to many times I wanted to sleep with someone and had to remind myself that I was with someone who was 4 hours away from me. I couldn't stand the temptation and decided to end it before it got any deeper.
I've done it. We were at a distance for a few years time. At one point, we were divided by a continent and an ocean. We're still going strong, and now much closer together.
If you love a person, and know that you'll be together again, long distance relationships are a piece of cake. I had no trouble with it. There were times when we would miss each other or be forlorn, but it never got in the way of our happiness of being together.
@RecSpec said:
" Really, if you have ANY doubts, chances are it is going to fail."As this man says, you should really consider your relationship.
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