my girlfriend has signed up for the army :(

Break it off, unless she's a saint she's going to be doing some grunt before her first year is up. Just the way it goes.

The fact that you have to even ask the question should give you a good idea on how you really feel about her.

RUN TO THE HILLS!

Long distance is generally bad for relationships.
The military is generally bad for relationships.
The fact that you didn't discuss the whole situation with your girlfriend before she enlisted does not bode well.
The fact that she's going to be gone for four years is a terribly grim portent.
 
I'd end it. 

I think it's funny that some people just assume she going to cheat when she's away. If she wanted to cheat on him she wouldn't have to join the army to do it, that's a little extreme. There is no reason to assume that two people in a committed relationship couldn't stay monogamous while one of them is away. After five years I would think you know your girlfriend, and because you've stayed with her for so long I can only assume she's one of the good ones.

I'd honestly break it off.  
 
25 is far too young to put your love life on hold for four years; take a break and see if you guys still feel strongly about each other after a year or something. 

@SuperCycle said:

I think it's funny that some people just assume she going to cheat when she's away. If she wanted to cheat on him she wouldn't have to join the army to do it, that's a little extreme. There is no reason to assume that two people in a committed relationship couldn't stay monogamous while one of them is away. After five years I would think you know your girlfriend, and because you've stayed with her for so long I can only assume she's one of the good ones.

this.

Sorry man Shes gonna get pumped with some.... tell her to use proctection atleast lol. It's the truth people have allot of sex in the army.
Don't think of it as cheating, she has needs you know

5 years and you never saw this coming?
 
Do you even talk to her? Do you even know her? How badly does she wants this? How badly does she want you?
 
Do you seperate your business from your relationship well enough? Maybe it's HER way of breaking up? Maybe she thinks she'd feel guilty if it was a direct break up?
 
There's a few things to think about.

So, because she's thinking of doing something she wants to do with her life, you're thinking of breaking it off? Part of me thinks the fact that you're even considering it means you should just break up with her so she can end up with someone that won't just ditch her for something like that. Buuuut I'm sure you don't mean to be so harsh about it and are just afraid of things failing. If it's only for four years though, and you've been together for five already, I'm not really sure why you couldn't work things out so long as you BOTH want them to work out. So if you actually want to be with her and love her, then stick with it, don't just ditch her because you're afraid of it not working. If that's all you need to second guess a relationship, you probably shouldn't get involved in any relationship.

@SuperCycle said:

I think it's funny that some people just assume she going to cheat when she's away. If she wanted to cheat on him she wouldn't have to join the army to do it, that's a little extreme. There is no reason to assume that two people in a committed relationship couldn't stay monogamous while one of them is away. After five years I would think you know your girlfriend, and because you've stayed with her for so long I can only assume she's one of the good ones.

this.

Get a new one...or hit some clubs for nightstands

@Nocall said:

@Dany said:

@SuperCycle said:

I think it's funny that some people just assume she going to cheat when she's away. If she wanted to cheat on him she wouldn't have to join the army to do it, that's a little extreme. There is no reason to assume that two people in a committed relationship couldn't stay monogamous while one of them is away. After five years I would think you know your girlfriend, and because you've stayed with her for so long I can only assume she's one of the good ones.

this.

To be fair, I think most (not all) though are talking about the inevitability of cheating in long distance relationships, not her being in the military. Thirty days of the year things are fine, but those other 335 days she has to go without. Contrary to popular belief, girls do enjoy sex--and masturbation can only hold one over for so long. It just happens. Edit: and I'd like to believe that most of the people telling him to "stick it out" have never been in a LDR themselves. It's awful. Don't do it.

well that is a great attitude to take.

Try to stick it out with her, but don't be surprised if it doesn't work. The military changes people.

@Nocall said:

@ Edit: and I'd like to believe that most of the people telling him to "stick it out" have never been in a LDR themselves. It's awful. Don't do i

And yet, two of my closest friends struggled through a long distance relationship all through high school, and are probably one of the happiest married couples I've ever seen. But I'm sure they'd agree that just because it was an unpleasant experience they should have just called it off and never tried to keep things together, I mean, look where it got them.

Supposedly, on April 17 of 2012, the U.S. will cede wartime control of the South Korean military. I thought I'd add that in there since it may be relevant. Anyways, did you ask her why she's doing this, and/or if you think she wants to stay together? I don't think you should just take a huge jump and break it off right away, that is... if you still love her. I think you should be more preoccupied asking her questions instead of on Giantbomb.  
 
Hint: If she shaves her head, dump her. Just kidding.

The fact that she'd do something like join the army makes me question how much she values your relationship. 
Barring some sort of (really excellent) reason of why she needs to do this, if it were me I'd call it quits for the four years, maybe seeing her when she's back home, and then at the end of the four years see where you two are at. Anything else just seems like asking for trouble to me. Five years is a long time to be together but life is too short and if she's putting your relationship in jeopardy like this I wouldn't be inspired to risk wasting four years of my life and getting my heart broken.  That being said I don't know the details.

Sorry for your tough situation. Regardless of the distance, I would advise trying to stick it out for a while and seeing where things go. If you feel that it is not meant to be, you can end it later on. Whatever you do, do not try to stay with her due to the amount of time you have invested in the relationship if things aren't looking good. Five years is a long time, but you are both wasting your time if it goes any longer when it shouldn't. I had a friend that didn't want to end a relationship just because of the amount of time he spent in it, so I've seen what it can do to people.

You guys better have a talk and see where you guys want to go. The one thing you don't want is a pissed off GF in a military base full of guys. If there's one thing that's always at hand in a military base is a sex partner. 

sorry guys i had to go to work. she is going into intelligence. shes basically and interrogator. then she is using that to get her into the CIA. it all sounds cool as shit but would require me moving to stay with her. :(
 
@JerichoBlyth: 
of course i knew she wanted to go. we talked about it before. but i bought a house here and we have been adding to it and making it nicer. plus she got a promotion at work. im just saying she actually signed all the papers now.
 
@Chop said:

I'd honestly break it off.   25 is far too young to put your love life on hold for four years; take a break and see if you guys still feel strongly about each other after a year or something. 

5 Years means Stick It Out in Korean.  
Also, Annyong means Hello.

I have no idea how this hasn't been posted yet...

You should totally fake your own death dude.

5 Years means Stick It Out in Korean.  Also, Annyong means Hello.

try it out for a few cycles and see if you can stick with for another 3 years.

Looks like its time to break up. Unless she's the one.

If I wanted to do something good with my life I would totally join the army as an interrogator. At least you'll have a good incentive to stay honest, unless you like the sensation of drowning.

If my partner joined the army without me having a say in it and knowing I’d only get to see them a few months a year I’d get the hint.

That sucks dude. I totally know how you feel. My sister went through the same thing with her boyfriend who's in the Marines. They are no longer together though. She tried to stick it out, but as the saying goes, you are pretty much married to the military more than you are to that person.

If you really love her and she really loves you, then try and go for it, but don't forget about yourself. If at any point you are having hard times because of this, it's okay to be selfish and look our for your best interests. She's got her path to live and you have yours. Who knows, they might converge again in the future they might not, but it's far from the end.

Good luck dude.

Tough choice. I think only you can make the call on this one, since none of us know the dynamics of your relationship. But if you are questioning it now, you will be questioning it a lot more once she is gone.

What makes you believe she'll be stationed in South Korea? We only have a slice of the 2nd Infantry Division over there, only about 25,000 soldiers. No one should let anyone stand in the way of their career path. People who let significant others dictate their life plans typically pay for it in the end. My two career paths, game journalism and being a Scout in the Army, both require me to leave home. I told me fiancee she can either come with me or we could end the relationship. I got lucky and she's willing to come with me wherever I go. But we made the decision that my professional career comes first in our relationship. That might make me sound selfish, but I got goals.

Is marriage an option? The Army will supply you two with a free house on post or a Basic Housing Allowance that's dictated by her rank. A Private will probably get enough for a decent apartment. If she's attractive, you also need to be able to handle her being flirted with on the regular bases. It's a male industry she's going into. Remember that.

Based on my xp with long distance relationships I would say you might as well try, if it doesn't work it doesn't work.  No point giving up before you even start.

Talk to her about it, not us man.  A five year relationship deserves better than a coin-toss on an internet forum.

Don't be in a long distance relationship, also talk to her about this. Don't let each other walk away or placate each other, sit down for a long, long talk and by the end of it you will both know what the right thing to do is. She might even realise joining the military isn't what she wants to do and pursue something else, you might break up or you might decide to roll the dice on continuing on. If you go for the last option then be prepared for it to be hard and brace for the extreme likelihood that things will not work out and could do say in a very painful fashion. But talk to her as soon as you can, don't rely on internet video game dudes to decide for you.

Break it off man, it's not going to work, break it now.

well i hope you two work things out. don't break up with her just because she is going far away. she will be the same person she left as.

I love when I meet 35Ms who think it's a good way to get a job in civilian intelligence.

SPOILER ALERT

It isn't.

EDIT: And Ft Huachuca is a shithole.

The existence of this thread is blowing my mind.

What the hell's the point of this.

@thehexeditor said:

The existence of this thread is blowing my mind.

What the hell's the point of this.

I didn't read much of it, but I guess the guy has various concerns about his girlfriend joining the Army, some real, some imagined. Lots of people, myself included, use Off-Topic is a blog for topics others likely have no interest in - often without making topics themselves blog posts.

In general I think it's a bad move for most women to join, in my experience they're much more likely to just be there for money/college. We don't need mercenaries, despite what the past 20 years of recruiting efforts have been telling everyone.

Well she can't fuck anyone in basic training because the put some kind of salt in the food or water that makes you not get boners, so you got like a four week window where your allright.

@Gabriel said:

Well she can't fuck anyone in basic training because the put some kind of salt in the food or water that makes you not get boners, so you got like a four week window where your allright.

If you really love her than you will wait. If it's just some thing you are doing and have no real plans to take it the distance then break up. 5 years of your life is too much to waste on someone if you don't love them and can't see yourself living without them.