Phrases you'll probably NEVER, EVER say.

"My money's all tied up in investments" 
 
"Hold the onions"

I herd you liek quests

Yup i can honestly say, i probably will never ever say either of those

"No, sorry, I have plans tonight."

"I was wrong about Fallout 3."

"I hate GiantBomb."

"I can't get it up." 
 
No, I will never say nor will I have to say that.

Einstein's one had a nightmare about being axe-murdered by Isaak Newton. What? Too much?

"Do these capri pants look good on me?" 
 
 
"Can't wait for the new Halo game."

"I get annoy"

"videogames are definitely not art"

I would tell you, but by doing so I would inevitably end up saying it.

"I bought an iPhone!" 
 
 
"Today I'm going to clean my bathroom."

"Hitler was one hip dude"

"You can stuff your sorries in a sack, Mister."

"Dude, that monkey just threw a bicycle at me"

"Tickle my creaminess grandma, I like baked goods."

''YOU SCARED THE DICK OFF ME!''

"Yes Your Honour, she said she was sixteen".

"I was wrong."

Ive fallen down and i can't get up

Mom, Dad, I want you to meet my boyfriend.

"What's an I-Phone? What's and I-Pod?!"

"Eat a bowl/bag of dicks."

"Man, that Kid Rock sure is gifted."

No.

Who's that hot guy over there?

'Well that made my hair stand on end' 
 
'What do you mean I'm the only person who can save the world and rescue the princess?'

"I'm a tea party member who supports gay marriage and abortion."

"Why is that gigantic dodo bird standing with Jesus on the Titanic 2, he should become the prime minister of the USSA."

I  love to publicly express my sexuality

"Your right, Macs arn't just for trendy arseholes"

"I can't wait for the next Capcom game"

Okay, I would not every say these phrases.  
 
"epic yarn rules." (I can't stop saying epic yarn now, it's so fun to say)
 
"720p is good enough" 
  
"who needs good textures anyways? "

"I'd suck your dick for some colourful puzzles!!!"

'Please drink out of my bellybutton"

"I hate video games" 
"I'm a vegetarian" 

" "Your right, Macs aren't just for trendy arseholes" "

well.. i can't say "no" when it comes to demands..  
 
so, probably "no" (irl) 
 
edit: i see what you did there, OP 

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

Please insert the chainsaw back into my anus.

"I'm really excited about playing this turn-based RPG."

"I love playing games with a controller! They offer the most precise and accurate controls of any video game platform!"
 
"I gotta go buy another x-box live time card!"  
 
"I sure am glad they dumbed down this game for the console kids and made it so simple that a monkey could play it. I mean who likes having options and choice in games?"
 
"I think I'll go out side today"
 
"I'm not gonna have that last slice of pizza"

Crank up that Justin Beiber, I just feel like dancing.

""I hate GiantBomb." "

if there is grass in the field than its ok to play 

"Man, I hope they bring out another zombie game on the Xbox!" 
 
"Rock Revolution is better than Guitar Hero and Rock Band"

" Please don't eat my Axolotl, Yggers!"
 
I hope I never have to say this =[