This really cute girl at my college and I have been sitting next to each other in class for the past month and a half or so. She always seems like a very nice, polite, and from what I could tell, fairly intellectual young woman; someone I'd be interested in. We've talked somewhat before in the past, but only about stuff relating to class. Today I worked up the nerve to try to seriously talk to her. We were both in the hallway and I told her that she always seems like a very polite person and that I think she's cute. To which she responded: "Sorry, I have a boyfriend, but I really appreciate the compliment. Don't be a stranger, see you around."
Assuming she actually has a boyfriend, that is a pretty nice way to be let down. Might not feel great, but take it in stride. If you're really interested in her, keep in casual contact with her so you can try again if her situation changes anytime in the future. Otherwise, be happy she isn't a cruel person and move on.
Sorry if I seem negative here, but I don't really get the purpose of this. You struck out through no fault of your own, she was reasonable about it, what's the issue?
That always sucks, but you can't win 'em all, right? Good on you for talking to her in the first place. I was never a "make the first move" kind of guy, I'm just super shy in that regard. Thankfully I'm married now, so asking girls out is totally frowned upon.
@MentalDisruption: Thanks, MentalDisruption, yeah I'm just going to move on. I see no reason we can't be friends, she didn't seem malicious when she turned me down at all.
Hey man you took a swing and missed. If she has a boyfriend or not honestly it's all good! Plenty of girls in college so don't get discouraged. She might have friends too. The friend zone sucks but college is the exception where it really doesn't because girls' friends will hook up with you.
All I can say is that once I got to the point where I didn't give a shit about it in college and ran with that attitude and just said whatever off the cuff I got the best results. Definitely do not be afraid. I was for a long time and got angry watching dudes with the worst game get girls and then at some point I said to myself "I can at least do as good as them, why not just try?" and it worked.
Don't be sad at all. Seems like she probably would have said yes if she didn't have a boyfriend. That is, if she actually does have a boyfriend. Considering she said "don't be a stranger" and you didn't say she seemed taken aback or awkward about it I doubt she's lying about the boyfriend.
@SwaziSpring: just be sure that you're not being friends for the wrong reasons. be friends if you want to be friends. if you're being friendly and nice and hanging around just because you still have romantic feelings, it's time to pack your bags and move away.
@SwaziSpring: just be sure that you're not being friends for the wrong reasons. be friends if you want to be friends. if you're being friendly and nice and hanging around just because you still have romantic feelings, it's time to pack your bags and move away.
I agree with this in theory but as I said in college it's a bit different because girls have large friend groups usually and that's a great way to meet other girls.
@SwaziSpring: just be sure that you're not being friends for the wrong reasons. be friends if you want to be friends. if you're being friendly and nice and hanging around just because you still have romantic feelings, it's time to pack your bags and move away.
I know, I've gone down that path before and will not make the same mistake again. Thanks though, tsiro.
Bummer, but ultimately common situation that will happen more often than not. Go after some other girls and try to gain her as a loose friend in case her situation changes at any point in the future.
@MentalDisruption said:
Assuming she actually has a boyfriend, that is a pretty nice way to be let down. Might not feel great, but take it in stride. If you're really interested in her, keep in casual contact with her so you can try again if her situation changes anytime in the future. Otherwise, be happy she isn't a cruel person and move on.
@SwaziSpring Damn, that sucks bro! I've been there/still am there (to a certain extent). Just remember that this chick is just a person like any other Tom, Dick, or Harriet that you may meet. Please, please, please, don't put this chick on a pedestal and put up with her shit just because she has lady parts that you like. As corny as it sounds, you are awesome too, and you shouldn't have to put up with anything from her that you wouldn't put up with from your buddies.
aww i was going to say something a long the lines of that.
yes, getting rejected ditched is horrible feeling. i'm talking to a girl and she said she wanted to hang out with me. i never heard from her. it's been a few days since i've talked to her. i'm getting missed signals from her.
Well stay strong! Since she added the "don't be a stranger" it's likely that she does have a boyfriend. So continue what you're doing and once she's single it's your time to shine!
Ouch, still talk with her she might be a good friend; and that happens to the best of us. Just keep at it with other women and you will find someone for sure.
@SwaziSpring: That was a pretty darn nice rejection if she does indeed have a boyfriend. I mean, at least she didn't just say she thinks of you as a pal. I suppose there's a chance you might still grab her attention if she ever leaves the dirtbag/cool guy she's dating now.
@SwaziSpring: Well look, at least you had the balls to do it which is more than some guys can say AND she knows you dig her. If she ever loses the boyfriend she might give you a ring. Keep in contact with her but don't get put in the friend zone.
I never understood where this picture came from. When I started coming to this site regularly, I never noticed these kinds of advice threads. Only the occasional one every other month maybe. Was there a lot more of those kinds of threads when the site first started, or was it something that was said in a video/podcast about these kinds of things. Or was there one very infamous thread on this kind of thing before. Because there doesn't seem like a need for the picture.
If she has a boyfriend I wouldn't call that "getting rejected". She has a valid excuse not to consider you.
^This. Assuming she has a boyfriend, "rejected" is the wrong word from this "aftermath" as if you're expecting her to break up with her boyfriend to go with you. So you want to break up people's relationship?
It sucks it didn't work out but don't let it bother you one bit. You took initiative and talked to her. Take what you did with her and start talking to more girls. Women want a man who is going to take initiative and talk to them first, its just flat out attractive to them. Keep it up! Good luck!
Good on you having the balls to take action. Doesn't sound like you're sad about it? Either way she let you down easy so just keep trucking and if her situation changes you pounce on her the chance.
Log in to comment