What's the worst aspect of a bad handshake?

 To quote Jerry Seinfeld:
 

I really feel as human beings, we need more training in our basic social skills. Conversational distance: don't you hate these people that when they talk to you they talk into your mouth like you're a clown at a drive-through? And hand shakes are the worst. There's absolutely no guidelines for hand shakes. You know these people? Too long, too weak... sometimes they give you the three-quarter handshake - just the fingers. Early release, late release. Sometimes people will dispute your release! You let go, they're hanging on! I have actually said to people, "Hey the handshake is over!" Too many pumps, coming in too high, too sweaty, coming from too far away. Sometimes a guy will give you a strong grip, late release, and pull you in for the too close conversation. To him I say, "That's three strikes you're out."

Just fingers is the worst. I don't like it, it's like the equivalent of whiffing a high five. It's sad, incomplete, and overall worthless.

My Hedge fund will never invest in a company whose president gives a 'just fingers' handshake, guaranteed.

The awkwardness when you both know it was a bad handshake.

When you make one up on the spot and have no idea what to do making a hugely uncomfortable moment.

The "I just came from the bathroom and my hands are wet. You know its just water on my hands BUT THERE IS ALWAYS THE OFF CHANCE THAT I PEED RIGHT ON MY HANDS LIKE A MADMAN!!! NOW MY PEE IS ON YOUR HANDS BWAHAHAHA" handshake. 
 
As far as the too limp or too strong. I shake a ladies hand very gently and I try to crush a guys hand if he does the same to me first. Sort of like a test of who's stronger. I have an uncle that will try to break your hand bones in a handshake and he expects you to do the same. It's awkward and awesome all at the same time. The shake is way too long but it's like he's testing your strength and you don't want to let him down so you just go with it.
 
Just fingers drives me up the fucking wall. Most of the time women go for the just fingers so I guess I'll let it slide there. 
 
Sweaty palms are a toss up. Are you in a construction site in the middle of a hot ass day? If so then a sweaty hand shake is totally acceptable. Wiping before shaking is probably a good idea in this case but COME ON! BE A MAN! Are you in a restaurant when the  sweaty handshake occurs? If that's the case then it's probably a bit creepy and awkward because then the other person has to awkwardly wipe there hand on their pants as if you didn't see them do it but you totally did. Nobody wants that situation.

Sweat is just bad.

Apparently I have a firm hand shake.
But then I should one of granddad's friend's hands and well, I was crushed pretty bad.

"Sticky palms. "

I give the worst handshakes, unfortunately. I always have clammy hands (I'm hoping to see a doctor either tomorrow or on Monday to see why it's been so frequent as of late), and I'm never sure how hard I should grasp the person's hand. More likely I'm making sure that I don't say something foolish & that I remember the person's name and am able to greet them accordingly. Those are more important than my actual handshake, but I should still work on that. 
 
With that said, I hate when I give limp handshakes, and I hate when I get them as well.

Too long gets my vote, but man, there is just something so funny about shaking someone's hand for an awkwardly long time. I think I need to start doing this...

The jizz on the other dude's hand

Sweaty palms takes the cake.

The half-assed handshakes from an unsure man are the worst. I mean, I hate the fuckers who think it's a contest to see who's got the strongest hand but when it's just like someone placing their floppy hand onto your palm and you're forced to make all the movement required it's just like why bother.

Ugh sweaty palms

Someone who has cough recently trying to shake your hand.

When I was in school.
 
I got an award mentioned and was beckoned to collect it on stage in a school weekly assembly in the hall. The principal is smiling at me, I stand up from the back row of the hall and she has her hand out for the whole 45 seconds that I'm walking to get to the stage, she shakes hands very hard, yeah crushing hands in a handshake is probably unintentional but still. and about 2 seconds long of shaking my hand.

Coming in to close is way worst.  A close handshake is always either too low or too high.  This leads to potential hugging or crotch grabs.  If a close handshake is from a woman however...

There is NOTHING worse than shaking the hand of a guy with a limp hand.

Just fingers is absolutely the worst, no question.

When the other guy breaks your hand

Overly sweaty hands, followed by a weak handshake.

a weak, limp handshake, to me, is a sign of disrespect. i hate receiving those. if you're going to shake somebody's hand, be firm. you don't have to apply bone breaking pressure.

" The jizz on the other dude's hand "

Actually, Handshakes that are to hard and they try to break the bones in your hand are the worst.

" The awkwardness when you both know it was a bad handshake. "

late release. i hate standing there starting the conversation while are hands are still holding each other. wierds me out.

" Just fingers is the worst. I don't like it, it's like the equivalent of whiffing a high five. It's sad, incomplete, and overall worthless. "

Too many pumps.

I can't imagine an early release handshake, probably because I've never experienced one. What's that, like, one pump, and then it's over?

I hate the fingers only, and I would say that counts into the "loose handshake" category as well.  I don't know if they got it from their fathers/uncles and other men that they were around as kids, or never developed.

The worst part of a handshake is the come away. You both know the handshake was bad, whether it be too weak, clumsy, or just at an awkward angle so when you both come away from it you give each other those embarrassed knowing looks that tells them "Yeah, we just failed at one of the most basic aspects of social interaction."

Man I don't think I've had a just-the-fingers handshake, sounds scary.
 
 I hate the slow draw, when you're first to extend your hand but they're not really into it? Then when the shake does come it's usually fast and weak, like they're trying to get it over with. Lame