The Great and Mighty Chupster doth decree that, if one truly desires a masterful experience from the Mighty Machine of Overpricedness and Most High Underratedness, you must acquire the following Exclusive Titles of Infinite Value and Awesomeness and none other, for these are alone the most eyebleeding and funwreaking of all that there are, yea verily.
1: Resistance 2 - A finer shooter with a more compelling ending exists not, and the smooth, lag-free online play, along with addictive cooperative modes, be golden upon even to the heavens;
2: MotorStorm/MotorStorm 2 - Underrated by many including the exalted high Chupster at first, this fine piece of gamery is amongst the sweetest and most enjoyable digital fruit of the racing genre, and any who say differently have obviously not spent more than 5 minutes with it;
3: Warhawk - And lo, an online-only package shall be delivered with USB-rechargable headset, and it shall flutter down upon gossamir wings and blow 30 kinds of epic digital hell out of those that stand against you, and 40 kinds of epic digital hell out of your opinion of what a good online game shall be; and there shall be Jets of Much Badassery and Tanks of Heavy Killing Power and Gun Emplacements of OMG-j00-R-SO-Dead, and Flamethrowers and other treats, and the Lord Chupster shall smile down and say that yea verily, it is good;
4: Uncharted: Drake's Fortune - And there shall come to be one of the most masterfully-animated and superbly-put-together titles in the known universe, and it shall bestow upon Tomb Raider the Bitch-Slap of Infinite Punking, and Lara Croft shall fall to her knees and worry about her implants whilest you traverse through Archaelogical Badassness, disposing of intelligent enemies whilest looking like a Badass of the Most High Magnitude;
5: Eye of Judgment - And the All-Seeing, All-Powerful EyeToy shall look down upon a piece of paper and a bunch of lame-ass cards and turn them into Digital Beasties whom shall wreak havoc across a 3-by-3 arena, and the people shall cry out: My Lord, My Lord, why must I pay for the ability to use further expansion in the game, and on top of that, pay for cards with which to play the game? And the Mighty and Knowledgeable and Mighty Knowledgeable Knower of Knowledgeable Might, the Lord High Chupacabra, will say unto them: Go ye unto your Playstation Store and pay ye for yon ability to play with expansions, and seek upon the internet yon cards, and ye shall find that they are available online and printable as all hell if ye would will it so, and it will be good, for double-dipping against your fanbase is the most base and evil of all crimes, and should be done not, for this is one fine-ass piece of gaming and stomps the Camera of Infinite 360 Failure into the muck, from which its lens never moves far away;
6: Valkyria Chronicles - And the God of Entertaining Strategy shall rise above the Console of Massive Overpricing and Underrating and shall say, look ye upon my works for they kick ass! And an odd combination of anime and strategic action shall form in the mists, and upon being placed into yon Console, shall stomp thy mind into much awesome jelly, which is good as it is tasty on crackers and with a can of Dr. Pepper;
7: Ratchet & Clank: Tools of Destruction - And upon the seventh day, the Mighty Lord Chupster went forth onto the Playstation Store and found there a Playable Demo of Mascotty Cuteness, and downloaded it he did, and installed it, and ran it, and the demo brought him great joy, for it proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus, and indeed that platformers were NOT dead, but only driven into sleep by horrendous developers who care not about the Mighty End Users, they who from which all prosperity flows, and yea, Ratchet & Clank are here to save us once more. The Lord Chupa says to thee: not Sonic, not Mario, not any of the Pantheon of Craptastically-Hopeful Wii Mascots, nor any other in the world, shall ever have a game better than this, and it is beyond good;
8: Little Big Planet - And the Lord Chupa shall fall under the spell of the Sackboy of Massive Cuteness, nestled deep within his Game of Technological Marvel, and the Chupster shall play it henceforth.
9: Heavenly Sword - Having a mighty thirst for blood and carnage upon his lips, the Splendiferous Chupster shall recommend yea, though the Heavenly Sword is not quite God of War, and though it apes this game in many ways, it is still a worthy entry into yonder genre and hot, scantily-clad chicks with Melee Weapons of Much Assbeating shall be his, yea verily, forever and all time.
Here endeth the list, but the Lord Chupster would be remiss if he did not mention the Game of Mega-Prettiness, which is also the Game of Unyieldingly Bad Controls, and the Game of Most Sucking For They-Who-Care-Not-For-The-Snake-That-Is-Solid; approach Metal Gear Solid 4 only if you must, for anyone who is looking for fun would do better to find a Gamecube and a copy of The Twin Snakes; Metal Gear Solid 4 will cause much pain, much throwing of controllers and much unenjoyment of thine system.
Think ye twice upon what the Good Lord Chupster has said, and rejoice, for his knowledge is with you! Whereas the Chupster quests alone for his knowledge that he may help those that know not. Goatsucker blessings be with you!
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