Like many people who are a part of this community and the gaming community as a whole, yesterday was a dark day filled with sorrow. We learned we lost one of our dearest members. I spent my day off work yesterday watching movies and working around the house when I checked my phone and had a text from my friend from 4 hours earlier. Needless to say I was not prepared for the informtion that text message contained. My gut dropped and I thought "no way, it's a joke right?" and grabbed the laptop and came straight here. Luckily this was during one of the few moments the site was stable but my fears were confirmed.

What followed later was something I didn't expect, unlike a typical "celebrity" death I actually felt sick to my stomach and greatly upset. It was as if I lost someone I knew personally, and then it hit me. I had. Having followed this site and the staff for over 5 years with hundreds of hours of podcasts, videos, and livestreams I truly connected with these guys, and after reading many other blogs and responses on this site, Twitter, and other gaming forums I realized I was not alone in this feeling.

Every week these guys were with me in my car, on my drive to work or to class. They were with me as I walked around campus or as I sat nervous and worrying about an exam about to start. I realized that this wasn't just some celebrity that I occasionally read about or watch a film starring, it was something much more. As many other members here have said it was a "one way friendship" and I feel like that describes it best. Ryan was there every Tuesday ready to take my mind off the worries and anxieties of the week, and I will truly miss him.

Ryan will always be remembered for his innate ability to make you laugh. Many of my favorite videos on this site involved him in some way whether it was his amazing job on the Game of the Year awards or his two Endurance Runs. He was always ready with a quick and witty reply or joke, and when he was laughing you couldn't resist joining in with him. Ryan just seemed to have that effect on whoever he was with and whoever was watching/listening. The amount love that has been shown from the gaming community is indicative of this, and I'm pretty sure he would be stoked he was a worldwide trending topic on Twitter, and he truly deserved it all.

You will certainly be missed duder.