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5 (0) 4 (5) 3 (7) 2 (7) 1 (2) 2.7 starsAverage score of 21 user reviews
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Heartbreakers 0
The Phantom Thieves are out to steal the hearts and minds of the people of Japan in a attempt to stave off certain ruin. So it is rather unfortunate that the only thing this band of thieves succeed in stealing is your time.It's hard to talk about Persona 5 as a unified piece of entertainment. Part of this is due to the games length, (I clocked it in at a hundred and seventy hours). It is also due to how deep and varied the multitude of game mechanics are in the game. It really does feel like fou...
4 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
Making Love to the Mountain 0
Link has come back from the dead to embrace the love of his life, A curvy shimmering beauty known as...Death Mountain?Breath of a Wild is Nintendo's first foray into the world of open world games. There are hundreds of people to meet, thousands of weapons to pick up, and a countless miles to explore. Breath of The Wild is a marvel to behold dwarfing all other Zelda games before it in stature, unfortunately for all its grandeur it has half the personality of its predecessors and none of the heart...
4 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
She Should Have Been A Pole Dancer 0
This game is insane. Totally batshit, hair raisingly insane. The game is filled with exhilarating action and spontaneous set pieces worthy of some of the finest action games out there. But along with that insane gameplay there is a story, and a multitude of characters, both of which are completely inane, pretentious, and obnoxious, leading to a game that is insane to play but maddening to listen to.Bayonetta stars a Bullet Witch of sorts, whose job is to kill angels in a effort to keep herself f...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
The Final Fight 1
The Final Showdown is on, but is it enough to keep the fight going for years to come, or is this the final nail in this franchises coffin?After pleas, petitions and riots, Sega has finally given the fans what they wanted. Virtua Fighter: Final Showdown is finally state side. Sadly however, the only thing worst than not getting what you want, is actually getting it.Technically this game is a update of Virtua fighter 5, but in reality its a downgrade. Gone is quest mode, gone is a challenging A.I....
2 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Ground Control to Major Fox 0
Take your protein pills and put your helmets on, Team Star Fox is back! But does their latest adventure make the grade or does it leave you wishing that they would return to there floating tin cans far above the world?Fox McCloud, the famous intergalactic mercenary is back to kick some tail, dinosaur tail to be precise. His new adventure has him trotting through the lush vegetation of Dinosaur Planet, as he hones in on cogs and turnips, all the while shooting the breeze with the many prehistoric...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
Days of a Thong Wearing Robot 0
The Ultimate fighting force against a hostile alien race is a... Thong wearing robot, and soap opera actors?Xenosaga is epic. There is a huge roster of colorful characters joining you on your quest. Vast amounts of plot and subplots, and combat which is deep and complex. Xenosaga is so epic in fact that it is hard not to become completely lost and overwhelmed by the entire experience.As with most RPGs, the story is the clear focus of Xenosaga. This tale of intergalactic woe starts off interestin...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Is There an Exorcist in the House? 0
The world is being overrun by demons, and is in need of being purified. Unfortunately there aren’t enough exorcist in the world to purify this game. Otogi Myth of Demons is a gorgeous looking game. The animations of Raikoh, our demon slaying exorcist, are fluid and highly stylized as he purifies (i.e chops up like sushi) the demons that stand before him, but it is really the environments that stand out visually. It is quite a spectacle to watch as the environments splinter and break at the fury ...
0 out of 2 found this review helpful. -
Cloudy with a Chance of Monotony 0
Dark clouds are on the horizon, but is it a awsome mind blowing level 5 hurricane... or is it just another tropical depression? Dark Cloud 2 is an action RPG, with hours upon hours of content. There are towns in need of resurrecting. Dungeons to crawl through. Fish to catch and golf to be played. The game looks and sounds great, with production values that are through the roof. However that dosen't change the fact that this ninety-five hour and twelve minute quest of sheer epicness, isn't very f...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
Maximum Payne, Minimal Enjoyment 0
Max Payne is taking it to the MAX! Yet strangely the rest of the game feels rather… minimal... Max Payne 2 stars the most depressed, miserable, hard luck cop this side of Noir City, Max. It is his job to clean up the streets and protect the people from the tyranny of the cleaners. Along the way there will be intrigue, drama, and danger. There is all the flash and subtly for a great graphic novel here, but not enough substance for a great game. The presentation in The Fall of Max Payne is top n...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
A Girl and Her Dragon 0
There are certain things no girl should be without. Hairbrush, purse, makeup and of course a hundred pounds of laser spewing, death bringing dragon.Panzer Dragoon Orta is a third-person rail shooter, staring a mysterious girl and her dragon. Both who go on a surprisingly fun and challenging quest, of self discovery. This is without a doubt one of the prettiest, funnest, and challenging rail shooter ever created. It just a shame that the landing comes so soon after take off.Rail shooters on conso...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Behold the Power of Paper 0
When you think of paper what comes to mind? If its not a vibrant and colorful world, inhabited by bizarre and wacky characters then I’m afraid you don’t know anything about the wonders of paper.Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is an RPG staring everyone’s favorite plumber, Mario. Are hero is once again on a quest to save the princess, whose goal in life is to hold the record for most consecutive abductions (at this rate poor Zelda will never catch up). This may seem to be an uninspired start,...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Have You Seen My Graffiti Soul? 0
The soul of the streets has been lost, and it is up to you to find it! But first you need to find cronies to join your crew, along with flags, platforms, and every last piece of graffiti that is plastered on the glorious face of Tokyo! That sounds fun... Right? Jet Set Radio Future is a weird little game, its half extreme sport, half platformer. All wrapped in mind warping cell shaded graphics, and doused in trip-in hip-hop tunes. The game looks and sounds great, and has a great sense of style t...
0 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Real Men Wear Boxers. Heart Pattern Boxers to Be Precise 0
If you happened to be slain by some mad wizarding dude, who is perhaps summoning all of hells demons to conquer the world, then Death may or may not just cut you a deal. Just be ready to run around in your underpants. Maximo: Ghost To Glory is a action platformer which harkens back to the good all days of gaming. Back when the bad guys where tough, the platforms where narrow and certain death was always certain. At face value this game isn’t all that great, there aren’t a ton of moves to learn,...
2 out of 2 found this review helpful. -
It's All About The Suction 0
Mario, the greatest videogame hero of all time has gone missing inside a mansion won in a shady sweepstakes, leaving it up to his brother Luigi to suck up some demonic. Devilish. DUST BUNNIES!… oh and the occasional ghost as well. Luigi’s Mansion (as you know doubt guessed) stars everyone’s second favorite plumber Luigi. But that’s where all similarities to prior Mario games end. The are no platforms to jump to, no new worlds to explore, or princess in need of saving. Only sucking and the occas...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
“I'll #*&% you till you love me”- Mike Tyson 0
Beatdown is a game that wants you to hate it. No it wants you to $*&%ing hate it. The horrendous camera, copy and paste looking NPC, its offensively over use of the $*&%ing F-word, to overly redundant side-mission; One can not help but think that this game is $*%&ing with you. Well if you don't flick the bird at your T.V and shiv the game in the back you may be surprised to learn that in two to three hours that you may, possibly, actually, somewhat, like it.Beatdown is a beat'em up. ...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
“Oh, its Bad Luck to Be You. Diddly Doo.” 0
Ah, wine, women, and song what more can you want from a game? Except maybe a story that can hold its liquor, women worth looking at and songs that are not constantly recycled. In the Bard’s Tale you play as the Bard, a adventurer on a journey to save the princess who is locked up in a tower by an evil usurper. Now if this premise sounds painfully familiar that would be because it is and the developers know it. One of the main hooks for the Bard’s Tale is that it is a spoof off the whole fantasy...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
Fetch Zombo Fetch! 0
Resident evil on the Game Cube is a remake of the classic horror game of the same name originally released some five years prior (1996). While the game gets a major face lift it still holds on to enough of its precursors tropes to make it a hard game to enjoy thoroughly. The game starts off with you playing as Jill or Chris, the last remaining survivors of S.T.A.R.S. (Special Tactics and Rescue Services) It is your job to investigate a creepy mansion where the prior team vanished mysteriously. ...
2 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
“Spinning, that’s a neat trick…” No, no its not 0
It’s time once again to return to a time long ago to a galaxy far far away. Now if only that time and galaxy had something to make the trip worthwhile.In Star Wars: Starfighter its up to you to take to the skies and beat back the nefarious Trade Federation, who are attacking the poor helpless people of Naboo. Now the story itself is pretty bland (who’d figure) but surprisingly all the main characters are pretty cool, making you wish they where all in a better game together. There is Nym the bad ...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
The Devil is in the Lack of Details 0
Devil Kings is a action game of the hack and slash variety. You go on a quest to prove that you have the skills necessary to bring order to a chaotic world through complete and utter conquest. And by skills I mean you have the ability to smash the square button over and over again and are able to withstand the forces of boredom, which will only be interrupted by moments of irritation. The combat revolves around your character going around killing all those stupid enough to face you. I would li...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
How High Can You Fly On Broken Wings? 0
Baten Kaitos is a turn base RPG for the Game Cube. Its combat system puts an interesting twist on traditional gameplay, but an uninteresting story, and a voice cast that is so bad you will want to play the game on mute keeps this game from soaring. The combat in Baten Kaitos is quite fun, it’s a card based system which works very well. All you pokemon fanatics from yester years will enjoy spending hours organizing your decks upon decks of cards and exploring the world looking for even more power...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
Pa-ri-ah [puh-rah-uh]: one who is despised 0
Pariah is a first person shooter for the x-box. This is one of many first person shooters that owes its existence solely to the multiplayer boom on consoles. Alas this game has nothing new or exciting to offer, nor can it execute any of the things that make FPS’s fun or enjoyable to play. In Pariah you play as a doctor….who is sick… no wait, that was the girl, or where they both sick, anyway you must fight back the splinted faction of an army who wants the girl because she can….explode… and th...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
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