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Uncut Gems

You've met a terrible fate, haven't you?

List items

  • Are video games art? Yes, stop asking.

  • The concepts of joy and whimsy distilled to their purest essence.

  • If you can beat the Sanbone Trio, you can do anything!

  • It will never not be cool to be a rebellious punk fighting against the police and evil corporations to save the city using only your artistic expressions of individuality.

  • I repeat: it will never not be cool to be a rebellious punk fighting against the police and evil corporations to save the world through artistic expressions of individuality.

  • How can a game with such shallow content be so deep? Not just a game, but an experience, and it would be so easy to make that a vibrator joke, but I won't.

  • The quintessential Street Fighter. Also, if you don't know what EVO Moment #37 is, look it up.

  • A literal meditation on the duality of darkness and light. In a cool spaceship that shoots lasers.

  • Oh, is THIS what strategy RPGs are? My bad. Good thing you called it Final Fantasy to get my attention. And you can unlock Cloud?--Oh, okay. He sucks. I think I get what you're trying to tell me, Squaresoft.

  • Game mechanics that actually reward masochism and hopelessness? You're way before your time, Vagrant Story!

  • Significant enough to spawn the term "Metroidvania" even though there were, like, five Metroids before this game came out.

  • Oh, Castlevania, you sweet summer child. Here, let me show you how to make a game in three dimensions.

  • You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll be surprised how easily it made you laugh and cry.

  • Thinking outside the box isn't good enough. I'm going to need you to take that box, load it into a gun, and shoot it at these environmental puzzles.

  • This is a game about the nuclear arms race, I swear. It's a lot more clever than it looks, and that's saying a lot.

  • It's so minimalist because they knew they got the twin-stick shooter thing down.

  • The greatest tragedy is that the only way to enjoy this soundtrack is to replay the game.

  • What if Odin Sphere were Japanese? And they turned the combat action up to 11?

  • From the brief moment when parkour was respected and admired before being parodied into oblivion.

  • And you thought Devil May Cry was stylish. Is this the end of Clover or the beginning of Platinum?

  • The most creative PS-era non-Final Fantasy JRPG. No one can be blamed for thinking this series would go on to do great things. (It didn't.)

  • An RPG where you don't just select "Attack" and "Magic" commands? AND you get to pilot giant robots? AND you get to kill God? Where do I sign?

  • My only complaint about Super Mario 64 was that you were collecting stars instead of capturing monkeys.

  • Still waiting for the shopkeeper to get his own game.

  • One of the most mechanically complete STGs ever made.

  • You're a master of karate and friendship for everyone!

  • If we somehow become collectively struck by amnesia and all records of information are erased, I vote we play this game to revisit the experience.

  • A love letter to every STG and tangential reference that came before it that also manages to surpass almost all of them.

  • More charming and compelling than it had any right to be, and a successful evocation of old-school video games to boot.

  • Super Meat Who? Sorry, I'm more of a strawberry man, myself.

  • (Discovering the depth of personality and thought placed into the story and its world fills you with determination.)

  • Exactly the kind of game you think of when someone tells you we've finally made it to a viable generation of VR gaming.

  • We don't play Chess or Rock-Paper-Scissors anymore. In the future, all disputes are settled by Nidhogg.

  • The perfect blend of strategy and puzzle genres, to the point where I really don't know which one to call it.

  • Accurate title.

    Also... you nailed the timeless nature of charming minigames!