MY TOP TENN TOTALLY BESTEST GAMES OF LIKE ALL TIME BRO!!!!!!!!11!1!!one!1

Everyone has their favorite games. Here's mine, in REVERSE order, 10 being the best. I suppose I could've just made it normally, with number one at the top, but where's the suspense in that?

List items

  • Without a doubt the most variable, deep and generally enjoyable action RPG I've ever played. Just don't ask me how I played it...

  • Ahh, what can I say about Lumines? How about that it's the only game I've ever played for three and a half hours without blinking? Actually, yeah, that sums it up pretty good.

  • It's the only game that's given me genuine post traumatic stress. Hell, I still get jumpy at the very sound of power tools, mopeds, leaf blowers or just about anything powered by a small motor!

  • Man, I love this damn game, but it was a bit weird and shit. 'Twas that, but not as weird or shit as a corn on the cob vibrator! Wait, I forgot where I was going with this... Oh yeah! Killer7 is fucking weird, dude. Remember the Handsome Men, or Ayame Blackburn, or the severed fucking head that you have several lengthy conversations with? No? Well neither do I, because Killer7 broke my mind!!!

  • Of course, who could forget the timeless classic about a killer, robot driving instructor who has to travel back in time for some reason? Or is it the one about a killer, non-robotic elf child who has to travel forward in time to collect "magic" coins? Oh yeah, it's the second, far more plausible one.

  • It had challenging, rewarding gameplay, gorgeously detailed environments, a euphoric, ambient sountrack and a sense of isolation and atmosphere that, to me, remains unparalleled to this day. While it may not have been my first brush with the Metroid series, it was and still is my favorite.

  • Okay, okay, it might not be the best Castlevania to your bad Emo self, but it's the one that got me into the series in the first place, dagnabbit!! Not to mention that you actually get to play AS Dracula, instead of his punk-ass son.

  • Ahh, Link'k Awakening. It was my first Zelda game and still remains one of my favorites to this day. Sure, that's partially due to nostalgia but it's still a fantastic little game with some ingeniously designed dungeons and probably the most interesting story twist in the franchise. Shame they pretty much give it away in the title...

  • Hands down, the game that syphoned away the most of my childhood. I've honestly beaten it hundreds, if not thousands, of times. When my home boy M-Dawgg has my back I can beat this fucker on Mania with my eyes closed. Not literally, of course. That would be pretty stupid.

  • First off, I know I said ten games, but I'm counting both Golden Sun games as the same thing here as they are basically two halves of the same story. Anyway, Golden Sun was to me, the most engrossing and emotionally impactful story I'd ever had the joy of being a part of. Maybe it was the nuanced, believable characters and expertly paced narrative, or maybe it was the fact that I was like 13 at the time. Either way, it was the most enjoyable and rewarding gaming experience I've ever had, and in all seriousness I still have not been more emotionally invested in a story or cast of characters to this very day.