This is an ongoing list where I attempt to do the following: Play, Complete, and Rank every video game in the known universe in order to finally answer the age old question "What is the greatest game of all time?" For previous entries find the links on the attached spreadsheet.

How did I do?

When I was just a wee lad and owned a Dreamcast I had a fairly small game collection. I had some of the classics (Power Stone, Sonic, Dynamite Cop, etc.) and one of the games I had forever was MDK 2. I don’t really remember why or how I had the game, because I never played the first game so there was no affinity for the series. Is it possible that I got the game through a birthday or Christmas gift and the gift giver was just following the prompt of “Dreamcast game,” perhaps. However it came to be, I remember reading the manual and looking at the case and being really excited to play as the Doctor (one of the three main characters), because his levels sounded like they were the most interesting (more on that later). As a kid, I never made it to the doctor’s levels. It wasn’t really because of difficulty, but rather I would tell myself I am going to finally play MDK2, sit down and beat the first level, have some modicum of fun, see that level 2 was not the doctor, and then move on to something else. No matter how resolute my intentions were, I never made it that far in the game, and for a game that only has 10 levels, it really is an achievement to not even see what level 3 has to offer. So, I have finally righted my past and played through all of MDK2, including playing as the Doctor, but was I right as a kid to move on from this game early or did I miss out on a real gem?

I won’t leave you in suspense long… Someone is going to have to tell me what the appeal of this game actually is. I don’t normally look at review scores for a game, especially not before I have written my little piece on the game, because I don’t want it clouded with the thoughts of another person, but how the hell did this game score in the 80s. Sure it is in the low 80s, but this is not an 8 out of 10 game, by any stretch of the imagination. It wasn’t in 2000 when it released and it certainly isn’t now. I imagine the true MDK2 fans are gonna get “shoot hot” over this comment, and they will claim that its because new games have coddled me too much and I couldn’t handle the difficulty or lack of hand holding this game does (as was the style at the time). In reality, I just don’t think this game is any fun. See what you made me do MDK2? I went and spoiled the end in the second paragraph and we haven’t even talked about the game yet.

Ok… calm down Phil.. let’s be professional here. MDK2 is a hodgepodge of a game in terms of genre. You play as three different main characters who each play their levels in a semi-unique way. All of them are 3^rd person action-platformers, but if you are playing as the Dog it becomes a shooter-action-platformer, because the Dog levels play as a gun blazing, kill anything that moves kind of level. The Doctor is supposed to be more of a Puzzle-action-platformer, as you collect items like an adventure game and then combine them together to solve puzzles.. Sure one of the things you build is a nuclear toaster that acts as a gun, and then once you build that you find your levels involve a lot more shooting then puzzle solving, but it was billed as a puzzle character. And finally our main character (Kurt) is supposedly a stealth-action-platformer, because they are given a sniper rifle and items like a cloaking device… but I guess if we are being honest, the minute you fire a shot all enemies know where you are, so there isn’t much stealth and then you just use your machine gun to mow down everyone in sight… Hmmm.. I guess every character is actually just a shooter-action-platformer. Well so much for nuance.

So we established that all the levels are 3^rd person shooter levels with some light other elements. But, it’s not like you are playing the same level three different times just with each character, I don’t want to give that crazy opinion. I mean the levels are all super varied. So you have the inside of a ship for lets say 8 out of 10 levels.. I mean not always the same ship… Ok so sometimes it’s the same ship, like more than you would want with a game with only 10 levels, and then you have 2 levels where you are on an alien planet or homeworld and you go from the metallic inside of a spaceship, to the metallic… outside… homeworld. Ok, I see the problem here. I am not discussing the nuance of the corridors that you run down to get from one spot to the other, because those are so different it is going to blow your mind. So get this, one of the corridors is kinda blue, and there is one that is just like black, and then one that kinda has a green color to it.

Alright, you got me, I am still bringing that negativity in to the review.. So lets try to take it from the top again. MDK2 is a 3^rd person shooter where you run through “futuristic” levels solving puzzles and killing baddies with an assortment of guns. Each level comprises of multiple checkpoints and puzzles that are “unique” to each character. Levels with Kurt have puzzles revolving around his use of the sniper rifle, hitting certain objects at a distance or using some “wacky” shots that allow bullets to ricochet off walls or bounce to hit switches. Kurt also possess a parachute that allows him to float long distances and get caught in up drafts that allow him to get to higher areas. The Dog has multiple arms allowing him to hold up to 4 guns and fire them all at the same time. His levels are very combat focused but might require the solving of jetpack puzzles, which can sometimes be picked up in a level. The doctor uses his brain and his kleptomania to gather and combine items to solve puzzles like putting a ladder on an ‘X’ on the floor, or disarming a bomb by hitting switches in the right order. Each level alternates what character you control, and the very last level allows you to pick your favorite. Kurt has level 1, 4, 7.. Dog has level 2, 5, 8.. and Doc has levels 3, 6, 9.

The plot of the game is fairly boring sci-fi. Aliens are planning to once again blow up Earth, and our heroes are the only ones that can stop them. The game attempts a comic book aesthetic, but outside of loading screens you tend to forget that the game is going for that, as there is nothing throughout the level that screams comic book. Now I never played the first MDK, I hopefully never will (if this is the better one), so there might be some carry over story between the two, or maybe the big bad is in both games so it feels like this is a continuation of the epic story. What I can attest to is that the story is pretty bland. It is not bad, but the only reason it isn’t bad, is because it basically doesn’t exist. Each level starts with some small dialogue of your character saying something that amounts to; “I got to rescue Kurt,” or “I gotta stop these aliens on this ship,” but none of it matters, and if you skipped all the dialogue you would get the same out of the story as I did for watching them.

Now lets talk more about these levels. As established each level plays slightly differently based on the character, but Kurt and the Dog aren’t really all the different. The levels are very linear with only an offshoot here or there that might have an item, but ultimately you alternate from going into open enemy rooms with spawners where you have to do a lot of strafe dodging to kill all the enemies and their spawners and then you go into a puzzle room. For combat encounters, outside of bosses, they are fairly bland. One on one versus an enemy you can just strafe back and forth while holding down fire and you will take down every enemy without getting hit. Obviously they counter that by just throwing more enemies at you, but it seems like the enemies almost always fire at where you were, so if you stay on the move you can take down big waves of enemies without much difficulty. There are enemies that fire different weapons that you will have to look out for, but in general keep on the move and fire and you will be fine through most of the encounters. It breaks up this monotony by having puzzle rooms which are truly where the levels can feel unique, but not always in a good way. Kurt will almost always have to find a glowing orb to hit with his sniper rifle (only bullet that works). Hitting that will unlock the next room or make a bridge or something that allows you to continue the game. Since Kurt is fairly immobile while sniping (can strafe, but you only see your character in a PIP in the corner) most of the difficulty of these puzzle rooms is just an endless spammer of enemies, so you either have to be fast with your sniping, eat some damage, or utilize your few pickups to allow you to cloak, or upgrade your armor for these areas. The Dog has a lot less puzzles, but all of his puzzles rely on using a jetpack, and boy is it terrible. There are two different jetpacks that he can pickup (depends on the level you are in). One of the jetpacks recharges whenever you aren’t using it, and one that needs to be recharged at certain stations. You can probably figure out how the puzzles for both of those work. The one that recharges on its own, has you mastering a fluttering technique to travel long distances or land on small edges to charge, while the other jetpack has you trying to use as little as possible to get to the next fill up station.

What all the characters have in common is some truly awful platforming sections, as this is a game that just doesn’t lend itself well to platforming. In some earlier stages you are usually given a much bigger window to land a jump, or more jetpack juice then you need to get to where you want to go, but obviously the further along you get it just becomes a battle of your will to continue. Now that isn’t a surprise, the later the level the harder the level, I should have mastered jumping in level 10 far better then I had in level 1, and that is certainly true. The issue is that this game doesn’t do platforming particularly well at all, it’s not “blight club” bad, but it never felt good, and some of the readability of where you are supposed to land can just be chalked up to early 2000s muddiness when it comes to all video games. The amount of times my jump didn’t read (press the button and it doesn’t respond) or the ledge grab didn’t take are too numerous to count.

Good news is that this game does have multiple mid level checkpoints so you don’t have to worry about trying to knock everything out in one run. There are no lives or continues to worry about so you can die and restart at a checkpoint as much as you want without really any penalty outside of having to keep playing the game. I think the newer (2011) PC HD version comes with being able to use save states wherever you want, and that would certainly improve some of the issues with this game as you can save after beating a hard puzzle or enemy room and not have to wait until you hit the checkpoint which can be a surprisingly long hike between them. That’s the thing about checkpoints though, if they are right before a difficult room it can feel like a godsend because any deaths in that difficult room mean an easy retry, but that also usually means you will have to go a long way before another checkpoint.. meaning a stupid death later on and you have to do the difficult room again. On the contrary a checkpoint right after a difficult room means that if you don’t quite beat the room on the first go, you have to replay a big portion just to get back to it. So there isn’t much else to add, each level gets about 4-5 checkpoints and they seem like the right amount, but their placement can be suspect on some of them, but it all depends on where you struggle.

I do want to talk about the two things that came up a lot when reading up on this game after I finished it. One which is highly suggestive, but is the humor of this game. I am not going to tell anyone what is funny and what is not funny. I personally didn’t laugh, chuckle, chortle, or even smirk at a joke told in this game. Enemies dying and letting out fart noises is, dare I say, beneath me in terms of humor. Naming the common enemy a Bottrock (play on Buttrock) isn’t funny to me, and the quips the characters say after beating a boss or to each other would make even Arnold cringe. Now maybe I’m jaded and old, and maybe if I played this game 24 years ago at the tender age of 12-13, maybe I would be squirting milk out of my nose in the middle or recess or something… I don’t know what kids do anymore. Now I think some of this is a “of its time,” where video games still weren’t expected to have interesting plot, or characters, or well written jokes, so the reviewers probably should have wrote “funnier then watching paint dry.” The problem why it doesn’t work for me, is I grew up playing genuinely well written or funny games. The adventure game scene at the time actually had funny games whether it was Monkey Island, Space Quest, or the Discworld games. Don’t bring your weak jokes and fart noises and then pass your game off as a comedy. I didn’t feel that the comedy was shoved in my face, so I was able to ignore most of what it was throwing at me, but there were a couple moments where I rolled my eyes far enough back in my head that I did briefly worry that they wouldn’t come back. Who knows, maybe I’m the broken one here and this game is knee-slapping hysterical.. I mean there are so many reviews that mention it as being wacky, or funny.. that it must be me who is wrong.

The other issue that I saw come up was the discussion of difficulty. Usually it was from try hard bros, that want to comment on how games were good “back then,” because of x reasons. “The game didn’t hold your hand” or “The game was hard and you had to git good.” I don’t usually give to much thought into what a bunch of sad gamers think, but lets dissect this. The game is difficult, its not impossible by any means and I have played harder games, but it is not something that you will cake walk through, and much of that is because the game is obtuse in what it wants you to do. I talked about how individual combat is relatively easy, you hold down the button and strafe, but bosses can be far more difficult, because a very specific thing needs to be done to hurt them. That one very specific thing, is never called out and you are left throwing shit at the wall until it sticks. For one boss, you play as the doctor and you have to consume an item, turn into a monster, climb a series of boxes (something the doctor can’t do without being a monster) and then jump at the enemy when he is at a very specific spot, in order to damage him. If you jump at him too soon, or too late, nothing will happen. The boxes you also need to climb, don’t really look like any pile that stands out that signify you need to be up there, so there were endless restarts where I was trying to shoot the boss with my regular gun, hit him with grenades, find a button around the level, change into the monster and bunch him, etc. before I stumbled upon the correct answer. That isn’t a “so cool cause it doesn’t hold my hand” level, it is just bad design. There is one jetpack puzzle room where you have to follow a refill machine for at least 2-3 minutes over a lava pit, before it leads you to where you need to go. The whole time just feathering that power so you stay close enough to stay charged, but still in the air so you don’t die to the lava. I remember that part being a pain, because the checkpoint isn’t close by, so your instincts are to explore that room but after a few deaths you just get sick of replaying the early part of the checkpoint. I am not even going to talk about an entire level (level 8) that had a part that was so difficult that the Dreamcast and PC version added in a shortcut (hard to find, but still there) that allowed you to bypass a 20 minute puzzle. There is nothing more “radical” then trying to figure out what exactly the game wants me to do, so I can move forward with playing the game.

Is this the greatest game of all time?: Hahaha. No

Where does it rank: So, yeah… in case it is not obvious, I didn’t really enjoy my time with this game. I only got one ending (the last level can be played with any character, and each character has their own ending), and despite being able to just start at that level again, I never felt like really playing this game again. Somehow my kid brain at 12 years old, knew to not invest much time in the game and instead to pick up so many other Dreamcast games that actually were enjoyable to play. It’s weird now to think about it, but Bioware worked on this game between the first two Baldur’s Gates and before KOTOR or Mass Effect. Now, Bioware also made a sonic game when they were probably at their peak of their power, so I know not everything is going to be a hit, but there was a time where if it had this name on the box, I would have assumed good things. Obviously not the case. Where does that put MDK2 in the greatness list? Well some may be shocked to find out that it isn’t to high up on the list, but it also isn’t as terrible to grace the bottom of the list. It falls into what I would consider the worst area to be in, which is the, “bad, but not fun or interesting, or even SOOO bad” list. Even while I am typing this sentence, I feel like I am ranking it too low, but I keep re-examining the list and being like… “no I would rather play all those other games more.” So I have this ranked as the new 166th greatest game of all time.

What's it Between: MDK 2 sits between Lost Lands: Dark Overlord (165) and Manual Samuel (167)

Anyone looking for it: here is the link to the list and more if you are interested in following along with me (this is not a self promotion).Here. I added links on the spreadsheet for quick navigation. Now if you missed a blog of a game you want to read about, you can get to it quickly, rather than having to scroll through my previous blogs wondering when it came up.

Thanks for listening

Future games coming up 1) Wintermoor Academy 2) Ghostbusters (X360)