Hey! Sorry for the long wait. My life is also in a very complex spot, and energy sapping.
I do agree with your choice. I got the feeling you want to make movies in your own way. And stabilizing your life, financially and emotionally, will help you find that joy, quality and satisfaction in your movies, that you search for, as well as a more fulfilling life. You made a great choice.
And remember a small indie movie that rocked the world: Blair Witch Project. Three actors and a small budget changed the face of the horror industry.
I believe that kind of life will go very well for you, as long as you keep that passion for the real and beautiful alive working the way you want it. It will be a fulfilling and happy life.
One thing I've come to realize is that it is important to pinpoint exactly what drives us. What are we looking for in our lives? Some objectives are pretty easy to ascertain, but others are more elusive, and they manifestate in very commonly through our frustrations. "What do we feel frustrated about?" - that question will lead to goals unfulfilled.
And to me it seems you desire to makes movies the way you like it, and engage in your other creative and leisurely activities, and your current choice aligns with that, as long as you don't abandon them for work or something else.
So to me you are really choosing your dreams and happiness, in the way you find that works best, the the dream that makes you happy. Of course some parts that dream have to be reworked, and some ideas let go, but that is the way of realizing any dream. Not every aspiration works together with the others, some are contradictory, others impractical, and we have to find what is the most important part of our dream, and plan around it, aspiring to realize our goals the best way possible. This is the way of living any dream.
Good luck!
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