Like sands through an hourglass... So are the Tuesdays of our lives. Hey everyone. Your friendly neighborhood GM Brandon here with yet another installment of Tuesday Night DnD. Feel free to get yourself a drink while you read, it's getting awfully hot out there.

Storming the Castle (Keep, Whatever)

We resume our game as the heroes are breaking camp, just at the forest line around a clearing, with an ancient looking keep in the center. I'll just go ahead and post what I said last week about it:

"Overgrown in ivy and covered in cracks, there was only one real defining mark on the keep: a red banner with "L.T." emblazoned in gold text."

Sivi was on the ball overnight. She scouted the fortress and found three different potential entrances:

1. Ivy had grown up a crumbling portion on the east side of the building, allowing access to the roof. Up there, there's a hole in the roof that leads inside.
2. The keep has a water access, on the west side a creek flows into the keep through a rusty-looking grate.
3. The front gate. Not ideal, but it's still an option. There are arrow slits pointing out from the main entrance, four in all.

Recommended Listening for this section:

After some discussion, the group decides to try the first option out. Hildegaard utilized her newly obtained animal companion (a lynx she's affectionately named "Smooch") to be able to climb the wall with ease, lowering a rope for the others to also climb easily.

Once up there, they all sauntered over to the hole, which was roughly four feet in diameter and lead the group down into a room where... Something bad seemed to have happened.

The group was in what appeared to be a broken down barracks, with all sorts of broken furniture littered about. The floor was covered in dried blood and a residue that Hildegaard quickly identified as something a Black Pudding would leave behind. To the west was the only door out, closed but with a 2-foot half circle burned through it with what appeared to be acid.

Long story short, the group thought that perhaps the water route might be a safer means of entrance. They climbed back up through the roof and went to the grate to try their luck there.

The grate entrance seemed fairly straight forward. Rurik grabs the rusty bars, gives it a yank, whole thing comes off with a crack, releasing some rust powder into the air. No big deal. Everyone crouch-walks their way through the relatively narrow water access until they reach a light shining down from above. Climbing up, they discover themselves in a well, in a relatively small room that can only occupy three of them at a time.

They were in.

A Captive Cook

The room, 15x5 feet, was very crowded. This didn't stop Ghengis from nudging his way past Sivi to listen at one of the two doors to the North for some kind of clue as to what lie beyond.

Past the doorway, Ghengis hears what appears to be a very one-sided argument.

"Now you're lucky we let you survive; so you're going to make us food! Alright!?" -A mysterious, angry voice

After some discussion among the heroes, Ghengis hears the argument stop, the sound of heavy boots going to the east, and a door noisily opening and closing.

Sivi at this time decides to exit the small room and see what lies beyond. Turns out, it's a kitchen, with a very distressed looking human woman who is preparing food at a counter.

After some comforting, the woman reveals that her name is Krisstina and that she was travelling by ship with her family when it was attacked by pirates not more than three days ago. She was the only survivor.

As a reward for her soon-to-be rescuers, she offers her only possession to Sivi: a single copper coin. Sivi very nobly refuses the payment, and tells Krisstina to take shelter in the corner of the kitchen until the way out is clear.

This room has two visible exits; a bending hall to the south and a heavy looking door to the East. The party decides to try the eastward path first, Rurik making an attempt to kick it down that only causes the door to rattle on its hinges. This, of course, causes the two Thugs and a Bandit Captain in that room to walk over to see what the commotion is about. The heroes quickly move into position to ambush anyone who comes into the room, and Rurik grips a barrel full of grain.

A Kitchen Fight

I try to breeze through combat descriptions, because they're not super interesting to write about. So, long story short, Rurik throws a barrel at a boss-looking guy and cuts someone else in half the long way, Hildegaard gets a great one-liner ("Stick around a bit longer!" as they stab a dude in place), Sivi hits an enemy for 23 goddamn damage with her twin rapiers, and Ghengis has problems with his magic (until suddenly, a flamethrower from his fingers). Our heroes prevail!

Choices in Direction

The room to the East ended up being a cafeteria, with another door to the East(er) that lead down a hall. The heroes, recalling what one of the thugs had said while fleeing in that direction ("I'd rather take my chances with the slime!), opt to NOT pursue that particular route through the fortress, instead going back to the kitchen and trying the hall to the south.

This hall eventually leads to two distinct doors. Behind one, Sivi hears what appears to be gamblers around a table, behind the other has what sounds like sentries who are looking outside.

Hildegaard comes up with a plan: the heroes bar the sentry door using tables from the cafeteria, while the party goes to examine the gamblin' room. Just at that moment, Ghengis comes up with a plan of his own. Using a newly acquired spell, he takes on the form of the Bandit Captain, and plans to walk through the poker game as if he was "doing rounds".

It's extremely effective. I'd write it all out, but listening to audio of what happens is much easier: Soundcloud Link to Nonsense

Short, unfunny version: there's four guards in the first room off the door, and three assassins further in.

After seeing what seemed to be a "dead end" route, the party switches which door they have barred, and Ghengis attempts to continue his ruse through the other door.

Heya, Bub

This room appears to be the main entrance to the fortress, with a single door off to the east and four sentries with crossbows who are looking through arrow slits to the south, two on either side of an enormous gate that leads outside.

After a bit of talking, Ghengis convinces one of the guards that he should get in on a poker game, while the rest of the party (sitting completely exposed just around the corner the entire time) has a brief moment of panic now that there's a guard coming straight for them.

Just before the guard rounds the corner, Ghengis breaks out another new trick related to his ability to change his appearance : retractable, Wolverine-style claws. A two stab betrayal towards the poker-bound guard initiates another combat.

Combat Bullet Points:

• Hildegaard, using her mighty pet Smooch, tackles a guard and rips its throat out savagely. Smooch looks pleased.
• Sivi pins a guard underneath a table, and mario-jumps on its head, killing it in a most gruesome way.
• Ghengis uses some plants he found to cause a giant explosion, dealing a total of 40 damage and lighting guys on fire.
• Rurik takes a brutal hit that brings him just inches away from death, he recovers enough to pull two handaxes out and decapitate his attacker.

After a lengthy 7 round combat (which is 42 seconds in-game, but more like half an hour in reality) 8 guards are dead, and our heroes look a bit more battered. Rurik is extremely lucky in that one of the guards happened to be carrying a greater healing potion, which nearly brings the barbarian back to full health.

Ending the Session

Searching the poker room revealed a combined total of 50 gp worth of items that some of the guards had been gambling with. Of course, the only fair way to distribute the wealth was with a friendly card game. Despite good efforts by all (and some cheating by Hildegaard), it was Ghengis who had the fortune to win the hand and the prize. Proving that he's incredibly awesome.

With this aside, our session came to a close. What lies in the other half of the keep? Everyone will have to wait until next week to find out.