I want to dedicate this entire list to a personal friend that is no longer with us. He was a man by the name of Bryce . A big, lovable guy who would always have your back. Incredibly charismatic, a creative soul, and a life of the party, he looked up to me as inspiration, and I looked to him for aspiration. One of his hobbies was drawing, and he had a penchant for it; his art collection can be found here, and I hope you can check out some of his work. If you have a good friend in your life, tell them you care. With that said, onto the list.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines year as “the period of about 365 1/4 solar days required for one revolution of the earth around the sun”. That’s what 2021 was according to some definition that was probably written up by some egghead dork who probably got stuffed in lockers. However, to me, 2006’s Time’s Person of the Year, 2021 was a year that was by definition, an experience. Not the type of definition written by squares who probably did things that squares normally do like having four equal sides with an equal amount of angles pitched at 90 degrees, but defined by true people like myself. We all experienced something this previous year; be it moments of joy and tragedy, feelings of love and loss, and opportunities where you could wear pants or not wear pants. I know throughout 2021 there was a moment during the year where you asked yourself, “I wonder how Knight Dehumidifier is feeling right now”, as you stare wistfully at a framed photo of me while Klymaxx’s “I Miss You” plays on your JVC boombox. Well, you can rest easy knowing that I’m okay. I have had situations this year that are both positive, and negative, but ultimately I am here to provide you all with my definitive list. Now you can listen to other songs from Klymaxx’s discography. Might I suggest “Good Love”, it’s a quality jam.

Now then, I have taken up the yeoman’s work once again and assembled a list of things that have occupied my time throughout the past year. This list will include video games not released in 2021 and content that is not video game related, because this is my list and I have the final say on what is on it. If you feel in your heart of hearts to badmouth this list, then please send your hate-fueled tweets to my personal Twitter handle, @Arbys.

With that being said, on with the list…BUT FIRST!

KNIGHT’S HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Microsoft Solitaire Collection (PC/Mobile, Xbox Game Studios)

What can I say about solitaire that hasn’t been said by seemingly bored middle management employees for almost 30 years. It’s a game that keeps oneself busy at times when work should be done. While it is still the same solitaire that you’ve come to know and love aka Klondike, there is also Pyramid, Spider, TriPeaks, and the other classic card game from the original Microsoft collection, FreeCell. Personally, I had no idea FreeCell counted as a solitaire-like, but if it’s in the collection I guess it counts. With daily challenges, game challenges, Xbox achievements, and limitless games one can play, it’s a solid solitaire experience, However, while it is a free game, it comes with the caveat of having advertising for those questionable slot machine apps and that strange ad involving some clearly shady diet supplement which incorporates spliced footage from Dr. Oz and Shark Tank. This game gets an honorable mention due to its late entry, and it does not resonate with me as a legit contender on this list. That’s right, one of the most popular card games in the world doesn’t belong here. What does? Keep reading to find out!

Abandoning Social Media (Internet 1.X, Rationale & Reason)

Starting on the first of January, I proposed a resolution that was both sensible and rational: Quit social media for a single year. That means no Facebook, no Twitter, no Reddit, not even a Tiktok to be had. While I would be wholly aware of its existence as some websites integrated it to obtain more clicks, I would not diverge into it to read comments or reactions on the actual platforms. The reason itself was quite simple; social media in of itself is a toxic cocktail that is bitter and resentful. It’s a gin and tonic that hates you (which may be a redundant thing since gin and tonics are from a place of hate). Since my mental health and well-being are far more important than reading what people are angry about and having them encourage me to be angry for the sake of their own anger, I bowed out. It also helped that the last year was an eye-opening experience on social media that seemingly promotes negativity in exchange for one’s concentration. The reason why this is an honorable mention is because all I did was quit something that freed up time for the other things to do the other things on this list.

Ok, now we can truly begin. The box is locked, the lights are on, it’s 2021 list fighting time.

10. Megaman x DIVE (Android/iOS/PC, Capcom Taiwan)

For the second year running, my number ten is devoted to an unlikely mobile game clearly marketed as a gacha game in the most terrible sense. I’m referring to Megaman x DIVE (or to be more accurate for the international market Rockman x DIVE), a mobile game that was released in 2019 for Southeast Asia, finally having its international debut late this summer. DIVE plays like a standard Mega (Rock) Man X game, except with a few notable changes. Much of the game incorporates classic references from the iconic Capcom franchise as well as content from the original, Battle Network, Zero, and Legends series, including the oft-forgotten Megaman X Command Mission RPG from the PS2 and Gamecube. In addition, boss worlds are broken up into 6 “missions”, your character now has a power level which can improve based on leveling up everything from a variety of weapons, armor, enhancement chips, etc., there are various missions and quests to do from PVP, Co-op & limited time challenges, and there are materials that you have to obtain to help improve and max out your characters. If that isn’t enough, there is also predatory mobile gaming misery from in-app purchases, terrible odds for blind boxes, cooldown timers, and outfits for some of the women in the game that border on the creepy & questionable. Why is it that X can have different variants of his armor types throughout his series of games, yet Alia from X4 has a swimsuit and wedding gown? Why doesn’t X have a swimsuit or wedding gown? Despite the nitpicking of a lack of speedo-wearing X and mobile gaming atrocities that we’ve come to accept as an inevitability, it’s been a worthy distraction. Also at the time of this list being written up, I am in the top 200th among most powerful Megaman x DIVE players in the world. A proud achievement in something that is completely worthless, like winning Best New Artist at the Grammys.

9. Sea of Thieves (Xbox One/Series S & X/PC, Rare)

No game managed to be both satisfying and heartrending quite like my experience with Sea of Thieves. Rare’s foray into piracy (the classic rendition with boats and shanties as opposed to the current version with P2P trafficking in some extraditionary locale) allows the player to go on their own adventure across nautical miles of ocean to explore aboard their own (or someone else's) ship. Whether it be journeying for buried treasure across a series of islands, storming fortresses in the pursuit of a bounty, or becoming an underpaid deliverer of goods for a trading post like an exhausted Amazon driver, the options are entirely up to you. What was new this year for Sea of Thieves was an all-new story mode based around Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean, aptly named A Pirate’s Life. Eager pirateers would embark on a series of adventures above the seas, below the seas, and into uncharted worlds to explore the mysteries surrounding Jack Sparrow and the Black Pearl. The content itself was a full game in its own right, and the combined nostalgia for the almost 20 year old movie franchise (gaze upon a reflection and watch as your youthful appearance fades beneath the benevolent omnipotence of time) amongst the backdrop of the actual game makes for a riveting adventure. With that said, I stand before you now as an individual who must vent for a couple of reasons, as I both love this game and despise it. The former was discussed, now the latter. For starters, the game can put you in a random group of eager pirates who want to go on an adventure with other like-minded strangers. That seems great on paper but it would be much better if said strangers didn’t burn my boat down, kill me, sink my ship due to the ensuing fire, and log out. We’re on the same ship you turncoat, or should I say turdcoat. Because you’re crap. Also, thanks Sea of Thieves for making a solo experience into a moment of sheer unadulterated paranoia any time I’m out on the water. I love knowing I have treasures worth over 10K in gold coins on my ship as I try to reach a trading post to sell the stuff, and I have to spend every waking picosecond looking at every angle to avoid contact with another player’s ship. As I see a large ship in the horizon that I know isn’t an AI, I have to pretend I’m the Mariner in Waterworld and figure out the best possible way to change my trajectory path on the water and evade a potential attack from rogues. If their pursuit is successful, and they are prepared to attack with an onslaught that is sure to blacken the sky with cannon fodder, I log out. I don’t need this much pressure in my life, it angers the blood. Call it cowardice, but I knew I was going to die in this scenario, I’d rather not give them the pleasure.

8. Hiking (The Great Outdoors/People Who Want To Get “In Touch With Nature”)

For 21 months, my life has pretty much been under house arrest, except I don’t have a fashionable ankle monitoring bracelet. Working from home and a rational fear of large public* spaces means a strategy has to be changed. Last year, I took up walking around with much success, and this year I planned to jazz it up by hiking, which is like walking but with more variety in wild flora and fauna. I found a number of local trails and parks that are accessible, and offer up plenty of wonderful sights. Plus it has the added bonus of knowing that there aren’t any people on the trail, so I have a great distance between me and other people. Like a natural restraining order. When a good portion is spent staring into a computer, be it for work or entertainment, just spending a few hours roaming about in serene nature is a great way to ease the tension and get lost in the sounds of the wild. Like the sound of gunfire from the deer hunters at a great distance away, and you get that unsettling fear about a stray bullet, despite the idea that some of those hunters are quite accurate, but you don’t want to be in the news with the chyron “Renowned Internet Nobody Knight Dehumidifier Dead From Stray Deer Hunter Bullet”, so you try to plan to go around the sound of the gunfire, but in actuality that was likely a kid throwing a rock at another rock because kids do that type of thing, since kids are rather amused by loud noises, partly due to kids being stupid. My plan for next year is to attempt to pursue other parks and trails in the region, and take in a whole bevy of new sights that I'll be sure to share with people in public gatherings to prove my life is immersed in nature and totally not a lie. Hiking has been a great way for me to decompress from the stress of it all, and not to get too eco-centric, but please appreciate nature as often as you can.

[*AUTHOR’S NOTE: Had I not checked what was written here before uploading this list, that word would have been “pubic”. Remember to always double check your work or consult with your local copy editor]

7. Hitman Series (Xbox One/Series X & S/Playstation 4 & 5/PC, Io Interactive

Let me preface this entry by stating that I do not like stealth games, or games based solely around the stealth genre. These games tend to focus heavily on establishing plenty of room for error, and when error does happen it becomes a fracas to save one’s hide. Having played the original Assassin’s Creed games (long before they became a loot-based combat driven open world ancient fantasy whatever the hell it is now) where a single detection means an extra ten minutes to fight yourself out of a corner from ensuing guards or evasive parkour, I was never privy to stealth as a whole. So this year (thanks in part to some inspiration from a group of individuals who landed next to something comfortable on Twitch) I decided to return to Hitman after a year long hiatus, to see if I could shed my anti-stealth game bias. As it turns out, the Hitman games not only hold up, but are still incredibly entertaining. Finding your targets to kill in an isolated diorama of an open area, and investigating the hubris-related ways to take them out never gets old. That satisfaction of knowing you have executed every step to get your target in sight to kill always feels like a reward. I got so comfortable playing Hitman I began to up the difficulty and really test my mettle, all the while asking questions to myself prior to playing each map. Can I accomplish my goal without killing any innocents? What if I never took off the starting outfit? Could I get away with only a piano wire? How did Agent 47 become a great drummer? Why do I keep feeling bad for Helmut Kreuger? Why would a military weapons demonstration be scheduled when a street race is happening just outside their windows? Did Io Interactive really think that the Vermont suburbs have colloquial neighborhood cookouts? Some of these questions I have yet to answer, maybe never will. Until I do, I will keep my expired cans of spaghetti at the ready to lob at some unsuspecting person.

6. Cooking aka My Passion (Kitchens & Sources of Sustainable Heat, Primitive Humans)

When I was in my early twenties, I ate trash food like a garbage monster. Microwaving was as far as cooking went, perhaps an attempt at grilling but nothing beyond that. Then after a medical scare, it was time for me to take proper care of my body. After all, my body is like a temple, a Mayan temple specifically. Mainly because my body is a relic of it once was, believing the end is coming, and killing my insides as a sacrifice will lead to the betterment of all. This meant eating right, and cooking my own meals with the intent of never having to sustain a life on microwavable meals and food stuff. For the last decade I’ve been self-teaching myself the ins and outs of cooking, with some hits and misses of course. Some of my favorite things to make this year included a meatloaf with ground turkey, shepherd’s pie, cranberry orange walnut muffins with vanilla glaze, apple & pear pie, chicken tikka masala, and of course my crown jewel in all of cooking, my prized baklava. There are more things I’ve made this year, but these were some of the recipes I have made that filled me with joy. I’ve even picked up a couple new cookbooks to get some new inspiration and ideas. One of which is Foodheim by Eric Wareheim (yes, the very same Eric from Tim & Eric). Even if you aren’t a cooking expert, it’s worth having on your bookshelf because it’s an interesting read when you find out that Eric is a legit culinary enthusiast, and has plenty of recipes to uplift any novice. And remember that while you are cooking, to always be sure to keep your knives sharp, your mind sharper, and your cheddar the sharpest.

5. Destiny 2 (Xbox One/Series S & X/Playstation 4 & 5/PC, Bungie

Whether we like it or not, I’m in a war with the Cabal, and the Vex, and the Hive, and the Fallen, and the Taken, and against other Guardians with knowledge of how the meta works, and my inventory, and the unfulfilled exotic quests, and the unfulfilled exotic catalyst quests, and the level cap, there’s more but to it but I have no time to explain why I don’t have more time to explain. If none of that makes any sense to you as you read this, you’re not alone. I play an unhealthy amount of Destiny 2, mainly because it has become a podcasting video game to me; just jump on, do a few challenges by blasting whatever colonizing space race wants me dead with my plethora of space guns, and log out. Over the past year, Destiny 2 has had several seasons which incorporated important story segments that will tie into the upcoming release in 2022, Destiny 2: The Witch Queen. Characters that were previously dead have returned, there is dissention among some of the more notable characters with alsions of a potential heel turn, there’s enemies that were thought to be enemies but are considered misguided with good intent, and there was as period where there was eternal night but that’s all better now. Oh and a giant god is entombed for millennia that will awaken that seemingly knows all including our own purpose. With this game on my list, I have no problem as an avid fan to be aware of the problems that afflict Destiny, and Bungie as a whole. The removal of both free and paid content, the consistent patches that make certain weapons, skills and classes struggle in both PvE and PvP, and most damning of all, IGN’s recent report which illustrates Bungie as a company with a toxic culture and a notorious work ethic. Regarding the first two problems, these are decisions aimed to not please anybody. Memory on PCs and consoles are extremely limited so decisions have to be made to consolidate drive space for players, and overpowered strategies have to be adjusted which is hardly ideal. It sucks, and much of the fanbase knows that. However, knowing that the studio for a game I enjoy has had a plethora of problems from management to developers ranging from harassment to crunch is an absolute disappointment. The year has been Bungie publicly promoting their awareness of causes and support to ensure everyone does not feel isolated, however the evidence proves that there are some that fail to act on what they intend on preaching. There seems to be people from inside Bungie that want to steer the studio in a positive light both internally and externally, I can only wish them the best in that endeavor. As an avid fan of Bungie’s games throughout their existence, I can only hope decisions are made to the benefit of the developers, and their safety overall going forward. Also, they should make a catalyst for Le Monarque, it’s a good bow that I use a lot.

I’ve never been invested in the stats, or even the meta. Just the fashion.

4. Collecting Lego Speed Champions Cars (Lego, Lego?)

Do you ever find yourself realizing you have a problem, and instead of pausing to realize what it may do to you and your well-being, you decide to double down on it and hope that by doing as much of it will fulfill some missing void in your life? Legos. Or Lego. Purists out there will tell you that it’s not plural, that Lego is the plural of Lego, but time is too short to spend it arguing about the grammatical usage of toys that are technically worth more than the gold standard. For the last couple years, I have collected Lego toy brick models (let’s see you try to judge me now, Lego grammar cops) from the Lego Speed Champions collection. The reason for this is me trying to grasp at the gossamer thin fibers of my once resplendent youth. I loved playing with Lego sets as a child, and also at the same time was working on model cars. To know there is a set that combines my childhood fascinations of both Lego toys and car models with the Speed Champions set. I began collecting the Lego Speed Champions cars when I stepped inside a Toys R’ Us closing sale. I felt it was right to just get something from the store I knew my parents wouldn’t ever stop at. They’re essentially small models of modern and classic cars built out of Lego pieces, from the 2020 Ford Bronco to the 1985 Audi Quattro. Lego has released about six sets from the Speed Champions series per year, so it gives me incentive to order one every couple months or so to complete the set. I am not in a state of desperation where I find myself contemplating about spending upwards of $200 USD on a missing Lego Speed Champions set to finish my collection, I’m quite content with what I have, and aim on building more of these in the future. Rumor has it the Lamborghini Countach and the Ferrari 512 M are going to be released next year, so I got some of my savings put aside for when those become available. Look, it’s not like I’m buying NFTs. At least these are increasing in value.

3. Wrestling Empire (PC/Switch, MDickie)

Professional wrestling. It’s stupid. Very, very stupid. If you are trying to find legitimate rationale in professional wrestling, you should use your time on something that really matters, like how do they put the filling inside a Fig Newton. While there have been a number of wrestling games that have been released over the years, none quite encompass the brilliant stupidity of wrestling quite like MDickie’s Wrestling Empire. Before you say that’s a bad thing, it’s not a bad thing, it’s a good thing. Diamond Dallas Page said that. While the graphics and art style may not appear groundbreaking even for pre-HD console standards, it’s that signature MDickie look that makes the game stand out, and appreciated in an unironic fashion. With a myriad of wrestlers (many of whom are loosely based around real-life wrestlers of the past and present in the Vanilla Ice “it’s not the same” concept) and a near limitless number of stipulations & match types, anyone can create the perfect wrestling experience. Now what makes Wrestling Empire shine above all other wrestling games is its story mode, where you can pick a wrestler to begin Wrestling Academy, and after that, anything goes. You can get signed to a company, get lost in a tag-team bout, fight in a battle royale, get signed to another company for a big payoff, beat up someone backstage because they wanted money for “security”, get injured because you took a tombstone piledriver on a microphone, win the heavyweight title, order everyone into a loser leaves company match, accidentally kill someone in the ring because I threw him off the top rope onto a sledgehammer, wrestle in their memorial match by cutting a promo how no one knows why that wrestler was killed when everyone saw you kill him in the ring…and that’s just one of many places the story mode can take you. For those who prefer the booking aspect of the game, there is a booking mode that was released later in the year that is as ridiculous as the story mode. No game in 2021 has made me grin with how ridiculous a game can possibly be than Wrestling Empire, and I expect to play more of it going into 2022. I still have to know how my story with Flex Beanbag will end. That’s what Buff Bagwell is in Wrestling Empire. Flex Beanbag. It’s stupid, but such is professional wrestling.

2. Psychonauts 2 (Xbox One/Series S & X/Playstation 4 & 5/ PC, Double Fine

After seventeen long years, a VR-exclusive side venture, a crowdfunding campaign, a studio buyout from Microsoft, and other potential delays that were apparent in our lives, the long-awaited Psychonauts 2 was finally released. Following up after the Rhombus of Ruin (if you didn’t play it, don’t worry since the game will catch you up on all that happened) we find our plucky hero Rasputin Aquato finally working for the actual Psychonauts agency…doing middle management nonsense. However, it is quickly revealed that there is a mole in the midst of the Psychonauts, which takes him, his girlfriend Lili, agents Sasha & Milla, and former antagonist Oleander to Psychonauts HQ to investigate the happenings. What follows is an adventure that twists and contorts in the minds that Raz ends up exploring, playing to the familiarities of platforming games one would experience in the early to mid 2000’s. The story gets rather deep, dark and fascinating, revealing tales of loss, tragedy, regret, and inner plights that affect just about anyone. What gives Psychonauts 2 an edge over other platforming games in the genre has been its level design, which remains weird, intrinsic, and wonderfully bizarre. The issue with other platformers has been the same rote approach to game worlds that fails to evolve, resulting in the same forest world, lava world, ice world, water world, desert world, etc. Meanwhile, Psychonauts 2 has unique locales that took plenty of inspiration and draw to create. Places like a casino-themed hospital world, a cooking game show hosted by animal puppets world, and a psychedelic acid rock world. While the combat itself isn’t exactly its selling point, the exploration and traversal makes up for it in spades. Furthermore, the brilliant music and top notch voice acting puts this game heads and minds above any other platformer I’ve experienced in recent memory. Without spoilers, your opinions on Jack Black are rightfully noted (especially when you take into consideration his film career in the early to mid 2000’s) but his performance in this game stands out without question. Double Fine are best known for creating unique games that are far and away different from the standard options found elsewhere; Psychonauts 2 not only meets that bulletpoint but exceeds it. It would make for my number one pick, but another game somehow got past this one…

I never really sat down and watched Inception, probably never will.

1. Forza Horizon 5 (Xbox One/Xbox Series S & X/PC, Turn 10 Studios & Playground Games

2021 was a year where we all needed some form of escapism; just a moment in time where we can go to some place to wash away all the troubles of our current hellscape. Since travel was never in the cards for this year, I decided to spend time getting lost in Mexico, thanks in part to Forza Horizon 5. Turn 10 and Playground Games’ longrunning Forza Motorsports spinoff took players into another Horizon festival, nestled in the Mexican landscape. If you are fortunate to adjust your settings to as high as one can go, Forza is a visually stunning game. Driving games tend to focus the resources on the cars and FH5 does that in spades. Every car is modeled and designed in this game to match the proper look and feel of their real-life counterpart. All hundreds of cars are accessible in this game, with more added regularly. From classic muscle cars, to high performance drift cars, to exorbitantly priced supercars, even a UNSC Warthog because why the heck not. Furthermore, it’s not like it’s a struggle to get the cars you want; in-game credit is often thrown at you, there’s a leveling up system where you can win opportunities to win more credits or cars, and some challenges just give away cars without a catch. Plus you can apply decals and designs to your cars, to give them a personal flair. Since it is an online game, expect the worst in terms of what people have made. I know I shouldn’t say that but when looking up what people made for the Ford Transit SupersportVan, people spend a lot of time making things that are just terrible. FH5 plays out like a celebration of driving and racing, where it’s up to the player to decide what to do next. From in-game challenges that happen around every corner, to story missions, to standard races on winding roads & straightaways, to hourly Forza Arcade events, to weekly Forzathon challenges, it can become overwhelming. Yet in my time playing it, there was never a feeling of being overburdened by everything on the map. There’s never a sense of urgency to 100% the game, or even thrust you into doing events you do not have any interest in doing. The game can be played however you want; if you want the 1:1 simulation of driving a proper race, you can do that. If you want to drive with turn assists and the option to rewind as you bump off other racers, you can do that. If you just want to play around and just drive speedy race cars while listening to Big Freedia while blaring your Doom E1M1 horn at other players, you can do that. If that’s not enough, there is even a car battle royale game called the Eliminator, where the goal is to not only outrun the isolating map, but against other cars through various racing challenges. It’s a rather novel take on the battle royale concept, but not exactly my cup of tea. Ultimately, Forza Horizon 5 is a successful game that surprised even myself. When it was announced as early as mid-June, I had no idea that it would captivate me in such a way that I would be placing it at the top of my list. What’s even more exciting is knowing there’s still a lot more Forza going into 2022. With the potential of more cars, and two expansions (with the auspicious hopes that one of them will be another toy-themed world because fingers crossed we get more Lego Speed Champions [AS PREVIOUSLY STATED I DO IN FACT ENJOY]) Forza Horizon 5 is going to be around my interest for next year, hopefully. With that said, get the Rimac Concept Two, that’s one of the fastest cars of the game and also it’s an incredibly unsafe car at any speed. Ask Richard Hammond’s experience with the Rimac Concept One.

Congratulations! You did it! You made it to the end of the list! I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all of you who managed to get through it, and bonus props if you didn’t just skim through each entry. I wanted to write my little dehumidifying heart out when making this, and if it stirred up any emotion in you as you read it, then I feel it was worth it. Honestly, this was a lot of fun for me to write up; it was kind of rewarding on a personal level to push my limits in word counts. This list has over 5,000 words! That qualifies this to be a short story, which means I could submit this to Reader’s Digest, but first I have to investigate if people still buy Reader’s Digest. Look, I can go on-and-on about this, but I’ll just conclude by saying thank you, and that’s the list. It’s done. You’re free. Enjoy your 2022, or at least make an attempt.…

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HEY PAL, YOU’RE STILL HERE? HAVE A BONUS SURPRISE VIDEO. MY TREAT.