NavyWalrus

F.E.A.R. is my goty. I played it a long time ago, loved it, but then kinda forgot about it. Then I played it again this year, and man that is a fantastic game!

I am going to try to not think about it as much, but it's hard knowing that there is nothing I can do to stop these accidents from happening. I can take all the precautions, I still will never be safe.

People saying stuff like "it would be a bigger tragedy to live in fear than to die a painful death" sounds nice on the surface, but when the time actually comes, those words will be meaningless when I am trapped in there terrified and about to suffer some horrible death

I am reminded of that South Korean ferry that sank where 300 people drowned and many of them were found with their fingers broken from trying desperately to hold on and climb unto stuff as the ferry was capsizing.

I heard that the actual act of drowning is not painful, but clearly everything leading up to it is incredibly terrifying. Trying to stay above the water, or being underneath it and struggling to hold your breath must be horrific

The reason I am bringing this up is because the grandma of one of the victims said her niece was afraid to go on the ferry but she encouraged her to go telling her it will be ok. But it wasn't ok, she drowned with all the others. The grandma's words of encouragement didn't protect her, she still died a horrible death.

I'm not gonna give examples of this stuff anymore, but I hope you understand where I'm coming from.

I need to try to accept that I am going to suffer like this, but it's hard to make peace with the thought

that I may go through such suffering.

As for therapists, I am kinda conflicted about that. On one hand I want to stop living in so much fear and a therapist would help, but on the other hand, me not being so afraid of it will not change the fact that it can still happen and I will still die a horrible death and all the positive thoughts I would have learned to have from therapy will not help me there. I will be trapped, terrified,and potentially in an excruciating amounts of pain.

I have to preface this by saying that this is going to be a very descriptive thread about the stuff I fear the most. I know this may not be the appropriate forum for this, but I need to say this and I hope it will be ok if I do it here. If its not, you can close the thread, I just hope I won't be banned.

I am terrified of a painful death, such as burning alive. I am afraid of going in a bus or sitting in my own home because of it.

I just can't get it out of my mind seeing on the news all these people dying such horrible deaths like Grenfell tower or those people in that bus.

For example there was a fire in a club where I live, and 60 people died, and there were reports of burned people screaming in pain waiting for ambulances and a nurse was talking about this one guy who was so burned that his flesh was falling off him when touched, but he was still alive and asking if he died. Or one about a guy screaming for help from inside a burning car after a crash and he burned alive.

And I know that in many fires you die from smoke inhalation, but that still seems like a painful death, to be choking on that smoke, and the air to be so hot that it burns your lungs is still terrifying, not to mention the mental anguish you go through.

I watched many videos with people dying or reading about it and it terrifies me. It's not being dead that scares me, but the act of dying. Even if it happens to be relatively quick, like a minute or so, going through that horrible terror and pain as I suffocate and burn until my nerves get burned out and my body goes into shock scares me.

I find it hard to see a reason to be hopeful and optimistic about my life when I can suffer so much pain at any time, when I can be trapped somewhere helpless and terrified about to suffer a horrible death.

Regardless of how much I can plan or think about the future, I can't stop that from happening and when it happens everything else will cease to matter, all my hopes and dreams will be gone and all I'll have is pain and terror.

I am building a budget PC with a Ryzen 3 1200 and an RX 560.

I don't plan on overclocking the CPU or upgrading anything in the future. But I will play some games on it.

So, should I just got with the A320 motherboard?