Hi guys (and gals),

So this is something diffferent. I don't know how it flies on these boards, I don't even know why I put this here. Maybe just to vent...

So an hour ago my parents called me, the message was straight forward and not to long:

My grandfather (96) is hospitalized and according to the doctors (heared from other relatives) It is a question of days... if even that. It's the last of my grandparents (never have known the ones from my mothers' side) and I haven't seen him in a year... feels so stupid now.

I don't know the specifics and neither do my parents (on their way to the hospital). Somehow it makes me feel like a heartless jerk. Ofcourse I cried, but I have the feeling that I don't feel enough emotion. I have a history of putting emotions aside as a way of a defense mechanism, but this just feels wrong and pathetic.

What is not making it better... I'm currently not in the country (From the Netherlands, on internship in Hungary) but will go home within 8 days. This feels so long now. Obviously I want to be there, but even I can manage to rebook my flight, it is still the question if it will be in time to see him alive. To make things worse... next week is the last week of my internship. failing next week (with my end evalueation and documentation) will result in failing my internship.

See what I mean... this blog is about me again, not about my grandfather.

Anyways... just do what you want, comment or don't comment. I feel this is a better place to put this than facebook or the like, I can't sense if peoples reactions are genuine or that they respond just because thats the way it is supposed to be.