You for a sucker!

Nintendo has done it again! They have succeeded in whipping the public into a frenzy over their latest console system; The Wii.

Since it’s release in December 2006, The Wii has consistently received high praise for it’s innovative design, it’s low (by comparison) price tag and it’s “revolutionary” play style. It has been hailed by critics as a refreshing alternative to Sony’s Playstation 3 and Microsoft’s Xbox 360. It has broken console sales records in three countries and is in such high demand that almost two years after Nintendo launched the system it is practically impossible to find one in stores. The manufacturer has expressed it’s surprise and delight at the console’s popularity.

Not only are the graphics sub-par, but it’s hardly innovative. Now I can hear you saying “Now wait just a goddamned minute! I love my Wii! Nintendo delivered a revolutionary gaming system that’s jam-packed with hours of fun for the whole family!” To which I am forced to reply “What’s it like to be a fucking sheep?” You have been swept up in a marketing campaign that has lubed you up and had it’s way with you without paying for dinner or cuddling you afterwards. So tuck your undies in your pocket and call youself a cab. On the way home you can reflect on some of the other wise purchases you have made in the past.

I bet you still get a kick out of your giga-pet or your oh so precious beanie baby collection. The Wii is the battery powered hula hoop of the 21 century.

Not convinced? OK, let’s take a closer look. The Wii is a gaming console system with a wireless controller and online play. I’d like to introduce you to another gaming system that features a motion-sensitive controller. a wide assortment of games and online play:

Ta-Da!

Crazy right? I know!!! But wait, there’s more…

Because we know that gamers like the advantage of portability. It also comes in a hand-held model:

How much would you pay for such a marvelous system? $800, $1,000??? How about $300. “Oh yeah smart guy, what are the specs on this to-good-to-be-true mythological ‘game system’?” I hear you asking. Let’s do a side-by-side comparison:

Here’s the best part about our game box: YOU CAN ACTUALLY FIND IT IN STORES!!! All that time that you have been spending placing bids online or driving your hybrid from store to store has sadly, been wasted.