10 (give or take) Video Games I Played and Probably Didn’t Finish But Really Liked in 2020
The average consumer of video games understands that compiling a top 10 list for the year is a subjective undertaking. Not me. I am unencumbered by the delusion that games are a matter of opinion, that everyone is entitled to like what they like. When I rank video games, I appeal to the coldest, hardest truths in this benighted universe.
My methodology: First, I craft a nine-point summoning circle energized by objects of power at each vertex: Pringle shards, CD-Rs, double XP codes torn from junk food comarketing efforts. I douse my extremely naked body in Gamer Fuel and chant the words of the Gamer’s Prayer. If you don’t know what they are, you are obviously uninitiated, and I both pity and despise you.
The shadowy Others abiding in the digital plane reveal these horrible truths to me, and here they are--unimpeachable and absolute, unless I change my mind and edit this post, which seems likely.