The Simpsons: Hit & Run

Simpsons games have a shady past. A dirty, nasty, Acclaim-related past that you
wanted to leave WELL ALONE. However, in 1997, the worm started to turn for the
Simpsons licence with the release of the surprising Virtual Springfield, that
actually managed to be pretty damn good. Then Fox Fox'd it up again with the release
of the steaming piles of craps that were The Simpsons Wrestling and The Simpsons
Skateboarding. So, the Simpsons franchise was left to rust despite the two good games
out of 20 in the series. Then, thankfully, in 2003, the good folks at Sierra took
mercy on the old dog, and snapped up the rights to make a game. Unlike the mountains
of dusty puke software that Acclaim and The Code Monkeys dumped out of their asses,
Sierra actually took their times with this game, and actually put some love into the
game. And the result was something that many consider to be the best Simpsons Game
ever. That game was called...The Simpsons Hit And Run.

One of the things that managed to draw me in was that the game was advertised to
contain a hefty amount of lolz. And, for once, GameSpot didn't lie. There are a ton
of references, goofs and laughs ripped directly from the show. And, I've got to say,
seeing little injokes from the show was extremely joyous. Seriously, there is NOTHING
better than seeing jokes like the "Don't Eat Beef. Eat Deer." rendered in full 3D
while you jump the Tyre Fire, having Homer scream like a little girl, or be swearing
at a random NPC. The whole thing is a joyous pack of laughter wrapped with a lovely,
yellow, overweight, alcoholic, deadbeat...ribbon.(As you can see, I love playing
the game as Homer, but Apu and Bart do have their moments.)

The graphics... well, as a positive, the game is definately not devoid of colour.
Bright hues of yellow and other non important colours jump off the screen and
overwhelm your eyes in the right way, and for that reason, Hit And Run is definitely
easy to look at, but, I don't know, there's just something about the graphics that
grind my gears. Oh, yeah. It's because the game's in 3D. Now, don't get me wrong,
the game still looks rather nice, but some elements of the game just look plain wrong
in 3D. Maybe it's because I'm a huge fan of The Simpsons, and going without watching
them for 24 hours is like being deprived from oxygen  to me, but when you watch a
show for 14 years, and get used to things in 2D, they should remain in 2D. This is
probably one of the things Hit And Run's successor got right, and yes, by that, I
mean the Simpsons Game. While the 3D look is okay, 2D cell shading would have been
so much better.

Usually, how a game sounds is usually a big factor for me, and this case is no
exception. However, the MUSIC isn't the element that has me hooked. It's the extensive
and downright hilarious voice acting delivered by the complete Simpsons cast- well,
except for Phil Hartman, may he rest in peace. The voice acting is most likely what
will make your experience playing Hit And Run all the better. I guarantee you that
you will go through the game with a smile on your face. In fact, the humour is
probably the games saving grace, because, without it, all you would be left with is
alright GTA-style gameplay, lackluster music, and missions that leave a LOT to be
desired.

Don't get me wrong, the gameplay is fun. Driving through Downtown Springfield on a
monster truck at 100 miles per hour is real brainless fun- but that's really all the
game has going for it, gameplay wise. The driving game is pretty much the game's
pillar, and it it were just a little bit different, we'd be screwed. The arcade style
driving is a BLAST when you use it right, but no fun if you drive like Marge. Which
brings me to the game's OTHER game- the on foot stuff. Now, while in GTA, you can
shoot hookers and weird people and steal their money, all that you can do on foot
that's even a little fun is collecting the mountains of collectibles in the game,
or...repeatedly kicking Milhouse or Ralph, and this is only because you're guaranteed
another one of those lollertastic voiceclips. All in all, the gameplay is inadequate
as a whole, but in parts, it's quite delicious. Mmm, arcade driving.

To its credit, there is one thing that takes the driving game from fun to Trololo
level. It's something that we NEVER see in this day and age of gaming any more.
It is the cheat code. Now, to be fair, the cheats in this don't top something like
NBA Jam, and to be honest, I'd LOVE a big head mode. But you know what's even better
than that? Going through Mr Burns' Mansion at 300 miles per hour, flying through the
air at rocket speed thanks to the right stick, while having no damage enabled, so you
can blitz through as you please. It's probably just me, but this is probably what I
did for 25% of the time while playing Hit And Run. And trust me. I've played this game
100+ hours. And it never STOPS being fun with those cheats. Those magical cheats
just make everything better.

You'd be wrong to think that Hit And Run's story is anything more than something you
could write on a bar napkin. Let's pretend that Matt Groening wrote the original story
on a bar napkin. The bar napkin would still be worth more that the scribbled writings
written. Here is the story, in about 25 words. Evil businessmen have released a cola
called Buzz Cola that will brainwash anyone who drinks it. The Simpsons and Apu(?!)
must stop them. I'm going to be a complete asshole here and say this. TOTALLY
ORIGINAL, GAIS! WAS THIS SCRIPT AN UNUSED SCRIPT FROM SEASON 20?!
Wow, I went crazy. But you get my point. All in all, story REALLY sucks, son.

Edgeworth's Final Cut

Even with all the bad qualities, like the nonstarter soundtrack, and the unbalanced
gameplay, Hit And Run still manages to be a fun, and above all, lulzy package that
you probably shouldn't let go. Sure, this is probably not a superspecialawesome game,
but for pure lolz, you could do a lot worse. And that is why The Simpsons gets a
very respectable 4 out of 5 stars from me. Woohoo!