Attack of the Movies 3D

By - Richard J.

What do you get when you take a movie game that hasn't bothered to license any movies, and add gimmicky 3D that doesn't even work? You get one of the worst games this generation, other wise known as; Attack of the Movies 3D As you will see in this review, Attack of the Movies 3D is absolutely terrible and should only be used as a test of will power for aspiring video game journalists, such as myself. I was so naïve, and I thought that maybe it couldn't be "too bad". Oh man, was I ever wrong.

Attack of the Movies 3D features 6 fake movies which act as levels. You start with one level, then unlock another one each time you beat the previous level, until you get to the final level. Sadly, there is no story of any kind linking these levels together. You don't get an intro to the game, and you don't get an outro; all you get is a series of moving galleries in which you shoot things. For a $30 game, this is unacceptable. Any game that costs more than $20 should not end suddenly end with no warning, or even hint that the game is coming to an end. Thinking "huh, I guess there are no more movies..." is probably the most anticlimactic ending to any game I've ever played.

Sadly, the gameplay doesn't make this train-wreck any better. Attack of the Movies 3D is an on-rail, arcade shooter; much like the House of the Dead games that were ported from arcade to Wii. The only problem is that no matter how bad and cheesy those games are, you can always remember that the games were made years ago. However, Attack of the Movies 3D isn't an old arcade shooter ported to Wii; a development team created it only last year. This game has no excuse for being terrible and has no nostalgia to pull in gamers who remember arcade light-gun games.

Once you start playing through a "movie" (level) you'll see that the game is just like any other light game with a terrible twist; you only have three weapons. Your three weapons are a pistol, an Uzi, and an AK-47. I will credit this game though on how each gun feels unique in the amount of bullets they shoot.

What makes having only 3 guns bad is that they carry through to each "movie". That means that you'll be shooting giant insects, flaming skeletons, and full space-ships (just to name a few) with only a few shots from a pistol. This is where any sense of realism in the game gets completely thrown out the window. Despite the levels being totally unbalanced and unrealistic, they are quite varied and distinct. Rolling on a mine cart over fire while shooting things, then flying through space shooting a wide variety of things is quite nice. The movie theme of the game allows them to do this, but it would have been better if they had licensed real movies.

One of the worst parts of the combat comes during the first level of the game. You have to shoot various over-sized bugs in a city scene that you are attempting to escape from. The problem is, there are they Scorpion-like insects that spit these green balls of goo at you which you can shoot to destroy (which brings up another point, why are there scorpions in a scene about insects attacking?). However, most of the time you can't see the goo that is attacking you because the rail moves to fast. Often you will get hit out of no where. So even if you kill the enemy, you will still get hit. This makes for very unbalanced gameplay.

The only thing that stands out more than the terrible gameplay is the uninspired - and most times just plain weird - enemies. It seems like halfway through development, the designers just gave up. In the first few levels you have enemies that while boring, at least offer some variety. However, towards the end of the game this all gets thrown away. In the last few levels you'll see bats, then bats on fire. Followed by skeletons, then skeletons on fire, and even just plain fire. Oh, and I don't want to forgot mummies, and you guessed it; mummies on fire. Attack of the Movies 3D is the pinnacle of terrible enemy designs. If it can't be on fire; it can't be in Attack of the Movies 3D!

While playing Attack of the Movies 3D, I was torn on something the entire time. I couldn't come to the conclusion of whether or not the graphics were comparable to late generation N64 games, or early generation Gamecube games. Oh yes, the graphics are that bad. There are a lot of new release games that have texture pop-in problems, in Attack of the Movies 3D, you think there might be some texture pop-in issues until you get close to the wall and realize that there are no textures. Walls of all kinds don't have any texture at all. It's like they just took generic coloured blocks and built the walls. Most of the enemies are basic solid colours and are far from pretty. However, the second level of Attack of the Movies 3D when you are in space doesn't look that bad. Either way, Attack of the Movies 3D is an ugly game and cannot even come close to competing with the best looking Wii games.

The sound in Attack of the Movies 3D is nothing to write home about. The game does have some music that plays in the background of the levels, but it's so bland that I can't even remember it. Then there are the gun sounds which are just basic fake pistol and machine gun sounds. You could likely find the gun sounds from this game on a CD of 99 sound effects in your local drugstore's bargain bin or beside the beef jerky at the front counter of a convenience store. I think it's best if you put on some music and mute your TV while playing Attack of the Movies 3D.

Attack of the Movies 3D has barely any replay value. Once you beat a level, you can play it again-and-again to try and get the best score. However without any kind of online leader boards, there is no point to playing for a high score. The game features drop-in co-op for up to four players in each level, but that would only be enjoyable for maybe one playthrough of all the levels. Needless to say, don't buy Attack of the Movies 3D if you're looking for a game that will keep you entertained for a while. Actually, there is no reason at all to buy Attack of the Movies 3D. If my review so far hasn't deterred you from picking up this game, then hopefully the fact that it took me only 1 hour and 12 minutes to beat it on my first playthrough will.

Sadly, Attack of the Movies 3D is one of the worst games that I've played so far this console generation. It feels like the development team rushed a bad idea for a game through production, then slapped on a $30 price tag on to take advantage of people who are vulnerable to the 3D craze. To top it off, the 3D doesn't even work! There is both a 3D and 2D option, but the only difference between the two is that in the 3D option, the enemies are kind of 3D. The only purpose I could see for this game is to serve as the video game equivalent of seeing a bad movie with your friends in order to laugh. If you were to do that though, I would recommend at least waiting until the game is $5, sitting beside that CD of 99 sound effects which is beside the beef jerky at the front counter of a convenience store.

PROS

• The on-rails gameplay can sort of be fun at times
• Graphics in the second level aren't that bad

CONS

• For the most part, the gameplay is terrible
• The first levels difficulty is horribly unbalanced
• Uninspired and boring characters
• Terrible graphics for the most part
• Bland and generic sound track and sound effects
• Barely any replay value
• The game is way too short
• Isn't worth more than $5, yet sold for $30
• 3D doesn't work

RATING: 1.0/10

A copy of Attack of the Movies 3D on the Nintendo Wii was provided to me for review by Majesco Entertainment, the game's publisher.