Irving, who you are supposed to talk to in the end after you defeat the Demon didnt appear in my playthrough and instead the templar run up and told us to go back down, does this mean ive lost irving during the battle and will this mean ive only got the option of killing Connor or sacrifice his mom for the Red Cliff quest?

Erm, that's entirely possible, the game certainly suggested that Irving can die during that battle although it hasn't happened to me, you could try and see if there's anyone else you can talk to in the circle though

I've not seen this happen myself .. it does sound possible though, and a bit frustrating I guess.

The head of templar basically offered Irving's position to Wynne but she refused and joined my party, so there isnt any mages left i think.

You have to side with either the Templars or the Mages in the Harrowing Chamber (where you fight Uldred). You have to use the Litany of Andralla--which you should have gotten from Niall's body after the fade--during the fight when Uldred is trying to convert the mages into abominations. As far as I know, and I may be wrong because I made sure to use the litany, if you don't use it Irving will die.

Yeah, you kinda need to save at least one mage to guarentee it (i.e. interupt one cast) .. listen for wynne's emote for when to do it if it's unclear when uldred is casting it

Yeah its possible to mistakenly side with the templars by having Irving die on you.

Afterwards for the connor quest the bring lots of mages to save connor is unavaliable considering that Irving is dead and im insanely pissed when alistair shouted at me at camp of not trying harder and go find a solution in the circle of magi tower despite the fact that ive done just that and that means Loghain for the king instead of him XD