This game came to me through a confluence of events that included the Bombcrew's coverage of Japanese PSN during the launch of the PS4. A few months earlier, during the winter of '13, my friend and I started a Japanese PS Plus account to get access to the Playstation Archives, an absolute treasure trove of retro games. Of course, it also got us access to the monthly spread of free games, which tended to be qute good at the time. When I saw Jeff playing Dream Club: Host Girls on Stage during that PSN showcase, I was scoffing along with all of you, finding the whole idea ridiculous. Imagine my surprise then, when I discovered that Dream C Club: Complete Edipyon was part of that month's Plus selection. You heard that right: Edipyon. That cutesy subtitle signifies that it is a rerelease of the original '09 release, including elements of the rather more risqué Dream Club Zero from 2011 such as «erotic eating». Being the largely unironic weeb that I am, and admittedly curious after seeing some footage of it, I started downloading. After all, it's free, what harm could it do?
Oh boy...
Let's just say that I have played this game quite a lot since, though I have put way more time into its sequel. I also blame this game for getting me into The Idolm@ster(again, due to convenient PS Plus Free Play). It does take something out of me though, I can only read blocks and blocks of Japanese text for so long in one go, so there is usually a big time gap between every time I play. So then I thought: Why not start all over again, try to see everything, get every ending, every trophy, every shameful moment of playing this game that still manages to be ever so compelling to me, and document it for you fine gentlepeople on Giant Bomb through writing and the lens of my crappy phone camera? And so it was born: The Endurance Run Nobody Asked For!(Dun, title drop!)
First we get the title screen, featuring a line-up of all the girls available to... choose in this game. I should let you guys know, one thing I noticed immediately on writing the notes for this first entry is that the script, which I thought was going to come across as 50/50 creepy and silly, made a nosedive into 100% creepy almost as soon as virtual pen touched digital paper. «No shit Sherlock» you're probably saying to your screen right now, but I honestly thought the 50/50 part was true when I was reading it in Japanese. It's likely a combination of lost in translation and lack of translating experience, but I cannot for the life of me make the English text look anything but the sleaziest of sleaze. Maybe that will make it funnier? Maybe it gets better further into the game? It's been a long time since I saw most of this stuff after all, and it's not like I am obligated to write out every line . Anyway, reader discretion is probably advised.
When I press the button to start a new game, I am asked what the first and last name of my character is, and what I want my nickname to be. Well, there is only one cool dude we know who is a real hit with the ladies, so I name him Charlie Tunoku. I struggled a bit with finding a nickname for him, but the reference to food in his last name led me to call him "Chahan".
After a lot of fumbling with the X and O buttons, cancelling out and having to write the name over and over again, I finally get to the main menu. Not much to do on this screen yet other than select "Story".
The opening is a classic, white text on a black background. "The Year 20xx, somewhere in Tokyo...". I guess these girls are the latest Robot Masters. Our Megaman is walking down a street filled with eateries and watering holes, complaining of having to work on New Year's Eve. Apparently Charlie has fallen on some hard times, as he is what the Japanese call a «freeter», someone no longer in education but only employed part time, often moving from job to job. I'm guessing he has been working a bar all night, and is heading home . He laments how he has no girlfriend waiting for him at home, but admits to himself that «yearning for what you can't have is fruitless anyway.» So, you know, being a total downer.
But wait... there's a light ahead.
"I don't remember there being anything on that lot. Maybe someone opened a new business..."
«What the heck is this place?! It's so dazzling... looks really high class. Welp, a part-timer like me probably has no business being here anyway.»
Even as he tries to leave, it's as if the building is pulling him in.
«Welcome to the Dream Club!»
This is The Receptionist, an enigmatic character who shows up in every game with only some minor changes from instalment to instalment. She has no name, and no established personality other than extreme professionalism and a level of polite speech that I will completely fail to convey in the English text.
«D... D... Dream Club?!» This line is accompanied by a wacky *sproing* sound effect, like this was a Tom and Jerry cartoon or something.
«This is an exclusive club, reserved only for those who are pure of heart. Our proud mission is to allow you to spend some time with our terrific host girls, refreshing your mind and soul.»
«R... right.»
«So allow me to say: Congratulations! For one year, starting today, you will be a member at our establishment!»
«Just... just wait a damn second! Me, coming to a high-class place like this? I'm not made of money, you know!»
«There is no registration fee, so there's no need to worry! As long as you can pay the cover charge, you can come visit any weekend during the coming year!.
«...really?»
«A warning, however... The membership is restricted to a single year! Past that membership period, it will no longer be possible for you to enter this establishment. Also, I should inform you that our club is open only on weekends.»
«A one-year membership, huh...»
«This will conclude the orientation for new members. On your next visit, you will let you meet our wonderful hostesses and let the healing begin! Is there anything unclear about what I have told you?»
«This seems shady as hell, but yeah, I got it.»
«Then we will meet again on your next visit. Have a nice evening!»
So, before I knew it, I had apparently become a member of the Dream Club...
This is Charlie's room, which I'm going to be seeing a whole lot during the course of this game. It's rather plain right now, but we will be getting some stuff to decorate with eventually.
“So, I guess I can only go to that club on weekends.
Did I really become a member there?! I guess I'll go have a look, just to make sure they aren't screwing with me or anything...”
Another place we will be seeing a lot of. This is where we speak to the receptionist at the beginning of every visit to the club.
«Welcome to the Dream Club!»
«Uh... I'm that guy who got a membership the other day...»
«Yes, of course, sir! I remember you. Please, spend time with our charming hostesses, and heal your tired heart!»
«Which girl would you like to spend your time with?»
This most important of choices is one I will be leaving in your hands, dear readers. I'm heading off to work soon, and hopefully enough people will have read this by the time I come back that we can choose who to hang out with first. This won't lock us into anything, we can change our focus at any time. Even though time is important in this game(It is a dating sim after all, so time management is a huge part of it) it has a pretty solid New Game + feature. Also, I have found a lot of notes from previous playthroughs, so I think I know what to say to get the most out of all the early conversations.
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