Have you ever pooped your pants?
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Field trip to the waterpark, I didn't know where the bathrooms were and shit my swimtrunks. I tried to waddle over to the bushes but it fell out, right in the middle of the park. I like to think nobody knew it was mine, even though I probably had a massive shitstain on my trunks.
I most certainly have. Only once, noticeably, and that was in about 5th grade. I was in my kitchen (linoleum floor, phew!) and one barreled down my left leg and out my pants completely without warning. I was talking to my sister and hilarity ensued. I was horrified and ran upstairs to the bathroom. I can't remember if I left a trail.
And a couple years ago, I was going for a run after drinking some black coffee (bad... bad idea), when I though I should relieve some gas tension in my stomach. So, I tried to push the fart out, but instead was greeted with a small smattering of poo all over my underwear. I didn't even realize I'd shit myself until I went to take a shower afterward.
This must be why I still find all poo-related jokes absolutely hilarious.
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