Love of games waning

Increasingly over the past couple of years, I have felt my love/desire to play games fall to the wayside. I have been playing Video Games since I was 3 years old. My parents bought me a NES which I had in my bedroom in 1989 and since that point, I have been a constant gamer. I worked for GameStop for the better part of 6 years (hated it by the way), and have owned almost every console released in last 20 years. I have played a large amount of games across these generations and have a lot of fond memories of late night multiplayer sessions, achieving victory in the face of absolute defeat and building relationships that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I love video games and everything that they have brought me over the last 28 years I have been playing them.

Now I am 30 years old (almost 31) with a 1 year old daughter, a wife, a house and a steady job. I don't have the time to play games nearly as often as I used to and the only time I do have to play them is when my wife and child go to bed but at that point, I am so exhausted that I don't have the energy or desire to pick up the controller. I think that last part; "desire", in particular is the main reason. There has not been a game released in the last couple of years that I can recall that I have had the vigor to continue playing non-stop and that bums me out. I recall in my past, certain games that I had almost an unhealthy obsession with, where I would play them for long periods of time, blow off social engagements just to keep playing, think about them at school or at work, constantly be researching tips on how to beat certain areas/bosses or get hidden items, etc.

Now a days, when I do play a game, I play it for an hour or two and then put them down because I am just not invested at all in what I am doing. I have tried multiple titles over the past couple of years and nothing has really drawn me in or stuck with me in a way that the games of my past did. I can't even begin to tell you what the main story beats are of 2 games that I am currently playing (Watch_Dogs 2 and Just Cause 3). The only game that remotely comes close for me in having those feelings of late night sessions and memories is Destiny. That is only because I play it with my friends that I grew up with, so we already have a report built.

I want to keep this part of me alive as it had a large, defining impact on who I am as a person today, but at the same time, this lack of fun that I am having while playing games is alarming to me. I think its a combination of where I am in life right now, where my priorities lie, and the quality of games that are being released but I am longing for that feeling of joy and excitement that I felt in the past when playing games.

I write this not only as an awareness piece to myself but also as a call for help from the community. Have any of you had similar feelings? Was there something that helped you rekindle your love of gaming? Did you just let it go? Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Sure, I take breaks all the time. Then I come back at some point, get deep into some games, then break again. Worst thing you can do is force yourself to do a hobby.

Same stuff with guitar, exercise, reading, etc. I let my hobbies ebb and flow. (I'm 31, for reference)

When I'm not feeling big games, I would occasionally do a Spelunky daily to keep the hobby alive. A half hour a few times a week of a game I really liked kept me from giving things up altogether.

And if I feel that I'm over the hobby, I remind myself of all the amazing games I would've missed since the last time I was "done" during my freshman year of college. No Mass Effect, no MGS after 3, no Gears of War, etc. And that would've been a shame.

It's called growing up. It happens to almsost everyone

Happens to everybody. Raise young kids is tough, might just be incompatible with your life at this time.

That said, have you ever tried hobbyist boardgaming? I got into tabletop stuff when I was tired of video games. It's a good way to satisfy the gaming itch while exercising different parts of the brain, and it's social! Might not fit in your life right now but it can be good way to spend time with the wife if she's up for it.

@matoya: This is not about growing up. You can grow up and still have a healthy hobby.

@holycrapitsadam: Don't force yourself to play. Move on for a while if you need to. If you don't want to play then don't play. If it comes back to you then you know you will have the "desire" to play again.

I'm a little older than you but I was 27 when my first child was born. And my 2nd was born 18 months later. Kids are a lot of work and you may need to take a big break and focus on your child for quite a while. I kept playing through it and now 14 years later both my sons are huge gamer's and it's great because that is how we bond. I play more now than I ever did.

I also just started on as a manager at Gamestop four months ago and holy shit is it destroying my passion for video games.

There was a solid eight months about a year and half ago. I didn't play shit. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Then I got the bug again and I'm back at it. Interest and engagement is like anything else. It comes and goes. You'll be back, or you won't. Maybe you'll pick up a sick new hobby and learn to shred on guitar.

The guy above me. The GameStop manager guy. Run, don't walk, away from that job.

It may be that your interest is waning, which is fine, but I noticed that the games you said you were playing are huge big AAA open world games, which can be incompatible with the lifestyle you now lead. They're intense, mechanically dense, and not well designed to be played in short sessions over the course of a long period. I wrote about being a "bite-sized" gamer last year, and one of the ways that I maintain my love of games despite a demanding job is enjoying short experiences that fit in nicely to my life, where I can complete a game in a couple sessions of two hours each, or where I can play a laid-back game that's not overly demanding after an exhausting day at work. Firewatch is a good example of this, so is Abzu, and I would even put Forza Horizon 3 in this bucket; even though that game has a ton of content it doesn't have a story (making it easy to pick back up months later) you can always achieve some kind of progress in a short session (complete a race or other event, buy and customize a car) and the game has a very laid-back, chill, vibe.

I have a friend with a 1 year old who pretty much only plays Super Meat Boy these days, because it's easy for him to get in, play for 15 minutes, and put it down when he's done.

Have you tried mixing up the genres and types of games you engage with? It may be that as you change your tastes change. Sometimes if you expend a ton of energy at work, and then a ton of energy parenting, you don't want your leisure to be super intense multiplayer, you want something a little more soothing and less intense. There's nothing wrong with that, and it isn't a sign of becoming an "old man." Many of those college kids who make fun of older gamers spend much of their day lying around the dorm smoking the weed or sleeping through class. When you have to bust your hump to pay the bills you don't want a game that's going to keep things turned up to 11 all the time!

Yeah just take a break, and have a fun time introducing your kid to video games in a few years.

Also, taking a year off is great because all the "new to you" games will be at least 50% off.

Once you become a parent it's tough. Just hard find the time or the energy (let alone $$, kids aren't cheap). Not to mention I think certain styles of games only really work well if you can more or less binge on them. I know for me if I set an open world game or a RPG down for more than a week to two weeks, it's often hard for me to get back into it.

Most of the parents I know who game, either become multiplayer mono gamers (like just playing Overwatch or Destiny) since that can double as socializing or switch to easier to pick up and set down things like platformers or iOS games.

Can't say I've ever had this happen to me, and I've been playing video games for somewhere in the ballpark of 24 years. I play almost every single day, always have.

@frodobaggins: I'm with ya there, but I also acknowledge that I have an obsessive personality and a more hardcore approach to what I do then the average person.

For OP, breaks are good! Breaks let you appreciate stuff you did in the past, find new things to hold your interest, and allow games to simmer in the background until they are the perfect flavor again. Just don't try to force yourself to keep playing if you aren't feeling it. Be it video games in general or if someone is forcing themselves to play a game they don't like, I feel the biggest tragedy is a person wasting their precious leisure time and not really enjoying it.

Chill for a bit, focus on your family, and then in a few years maybe introduce videogames to your daughter. It might help you rekindle your interest in gaming.

It's a totally natural reaction/phase, and doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to be down with games forever. I'm in a similar situation - early 30s, married, newborn kid. I went through a period in my later 20s where I just found more and more games to be less satisfying, and I think I was burning myself out. So I played fewer games, and eventually some games came out that I felt like I really wanted to play, and I got back into it. Now with a baby, I'm scaling back again.

So take a little break, spend time with your family, read some books, maybe revisit an old hobby that you stepped away from - I got back into miniatures and model building, which I hadn't done since I was a kid. If you see a game that interests you, give it a shot. One of the things I really like about Giant Bomb is that I feel like I'm getting a taste of a lot of what's out there, without having to devote the time to play a bunch of things I'm probably not going to be that into.

I had/have run into this a bit too. 30, dog, wife, difficult jobs.

Whether we want to admit it or not, video games are pretty mentally demanding. Your capacity for managing the supply of mental ability (your mana, you might say) is quite limited, and recharges slower than you are using it up. There are some days where I want to play a game and end up just watching TV instead because TV is more conducive to recharging my mental capacity. That is normal. The mental compromise I've made is "what game can I play that I can use to recharge my mental energy but also enjoy the feeling of playing a game?" The answer, I think, is mostly in between mobile games and AAA titles, so basically indie games. Diablo 3 is a good outlier though - you don't have to be thinking too hard to play Diablo 3.

Here are some recommendations:

Stardew Valley
Diablo III
ABZU
Crypt of the Necrodancer
Lego Games (bonus can play with wife)
Arcade-Style Games
Bastion
ZEN Pinball (don't knock it til ya try it)

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, suggestions and game recommendations. I appreciate it!