Shark!Shark! is out for modern platforms. It seems unremarkable.
This game is what we all thought it was going to be. It looks like a low to moderate effort update to a somewhat obscure retro game without many attempts to modernize it or add content for longevity. It would have done okay on Xbox Live in 2006 but it's probably going to barely be a blip at a $15 price point in 2023.
It definitely has some of that Intellivision oddity to it, such as touting its music and sound design despite being generic and barely noticeable (whatever you want to say about Tommy Tallarico's 16-bit work the soundtracks with his studio's name were definitely not forgettable) and an ending so bonkers you'd normally think it was drug induced but instead here it was almost certainly a product of extreme laziness. It also seems unfinished, given that the enemy behavior patterns are simplistic and unchanging.
This game won't make a splash, pun intended. It has nothing to offer beyond a bare bones experience that's almost 20 years behind the times in terms of aesthetics and game design, even when updating a classic. If it were modern graphics running on top of an emulated copy of the old game like with the Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap remake it would at least be interesting. Instead it's just thrown together as a pale copy of the original.
Nobody would want to play this. You could probably have some fun in multiplayer because most games can be fun in multiplayer (SNAKE can be fun in multiplayer) but you'd have no reason to seek it out. It doesn't do anything interesting, it has very little content, it looks outdated, and it costs $15. Compare that to Atari's Recharged line of games, with their simple but stylized aesthetics, pounding soundtracks, and dozens of challenges with unique gameplay wrinkles at a $10 price point and this just looks silly. And those games aren't even masterpieces, they're just designed by people who at least have some idea of what they want to sell and to whom.
Amico apologists will bring up how this isn't using the specialized controller and doesn't have important functions like...showing the location of the next bonus pearl on your controller (there are ways to do something similar through rumble), but it's just transparent excuses. This game isn't very good. It might not be flat out terrible but it isn't very good. It's not something people will want at $15 and it's darn sure not something people would want to spend $150 or $320 for a console to get their hands on.
The idea of casuals and children wanting to play this is laughable. Casual gamers are not looking for simple arcade experiences. If they were they would have found them. I can name literally dozens of (better) games already available for multiplayer fun right now. Maybe they'd download it on mobile for $0.99 and enjoy it for an hour but they're not going to want to play it on console. Why would they? There's nothing new here.
None of this is surprising in any way but it's at least proof. Proof that the apparently nude emperor wasn't wearing a clever bodysuit, he actually had no clothes. Proof that can be denied but not countered. The games are starting to trickle out and they are not only nothing special but subpar. There was never anything on offer here except undelivered promises and a whole lot of grandiose claims amounting to nothing but a few sad little fish swimming repetitive paths over 35 minutes of tedium.
We may never find out details of financial shenanigans or when what deals fell through or who actually thought this thing could work, but at least we now that however it played out it was all doomed from before it was ever announced.
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