Yes, this morning I was raring to end this odyssey and see how Kojima's last chapter wound up. Then came tanks. Lots of tanks. I don't like tanks. Especially those that are effectively boss tanks. With that in mind, I visited youtube for the conclusion of the final two missions. There's your full disclosure. I'm not finished but I am done.

Part 1 (1-12), Part 2 (12-20), Part 3 (20-30)

Revengeance Achieved

My last part concluded with me dipping my toes on the doorstep of Skullface's super-secret volcano base. This heavily-guarded fortress houses... nowt. It's like a helipad and three gates. Nevertheless, Kaz reckons the final showdown will be there and so will Sahelanthropus. So we pres on, sneak through an admittedly tense affair and confront Skullamania on the heliport. He then takes on a jeep ride under armed guard.

1. There's a helicopter right there. Is that just going to stand down because you see Big Boss standing there and think, "Oooh, drama!"
2. The armed guard vanish immediately as soon as the game makes the walk to the jeep on rails. I looked behind me expecting a gun at my back but there's nothing bar invisible walls to stop me from turning tail.

The jeep ride (which Kaz insisted I should go on) is nothing more than the game's ladder scene. The Bond villain spells out his masterplan to wipe English from the face of the earth with more parasites. Mainly to piss Zero off but also to stifle Cipher's world domination plans. Revenge and parasites are literally the two character motivations they map to everyone in this game. So the ride ends and Sehalanthropus lies in wait. Psycho Mantis and the Man of Fire say hello before the former takes the latter out because he now likes Eli more. Skullface shouts about revenge again as Mantis decides to pilot the mech using his magic mind powers.

I'll say this about Mantis. At no point in the fiction do they attach a reasonable explanation for it. He's consistent. He's a freak. He and Fortune are the only two that get actual magic powers. Sorrow doesn't count. Ghosts aren't magic. They're ghosts.

One thing the Metal Gear scrap continues to nail is actual scale. You're not fighting this thing on a platform or in a box room. You've got a sizable chunk of the map (that still isn't big enough) to duke it out with the best mech the series will ever have. It's also a boss ripped straight from the Peace Walker design doc. A massive machine with a health bar to match and you do not have enough ammo to take it down in one swoop. One of the reasons I disliked the predecessor was down to just how much of a marathon task boss fights were. Its handled better in The Phantom Pain by virtue of just having chopper and supply support happen automatically. Even then, there's only two instances (this and the tank waves... 'great') where your helicopter is a necessity. It winds up skirting the right side of frustration and feels pretty good when you land the last hit on the hulking behemoth.

And with that gone, the Skullface arc is concluded with some brutal shotgun shells and a touching moment that gets shat on by Huey for comedic effect. Don't do that, Hideo. It's not funny. You're not funny. Fuck you. So that's concluded, credits roll and the epilogue rolls into town with all the best bits from the trailers still to come. So I feel the best way to tackle this is character by character.

McBenedkaz

He opens Act 2 with a stirring speech that finally lays out the fact that he is a paranoid, blind Stalinist. He clearly hasn't got his revenge out of his system and now needs something else to rally against. He still has the idea that a spy is amidst the ranks so the only way to weed it out is to turn the workforce against itself. What a guy. Also, his blindness never has any consequence. He like, bundles into that one kid earlier in the game and then the rest of the time he's running to R&D for some burger meat. This man has been giving us intel the whole game. This man who cannot see has been verifying targets for us the entire game.

It wouldn't be so bad if Ocelot tagged along with him constantly as a minder but ... damn, he finds his way around with no trouble. With no eyesight. Another thing the speech lays out is just how he, much more than Big Boss, is the force that drives Diamond Dogs. It's his baby and he very much commands it. He's built this cult around Big Boss but, without Miller, it doesn't get done.

Huey

Man, I hate Huey. Over the course of the epilogue you discover he was working with Cipher, accidentally causing another outbreak of the parasites and had committed cold-blooded murder against the mother of his child. Sure, it was a loveless couple out of some bullshit convenience but, man, just take her to court. Oh, also he made his giant robot child-friendly. Fantastic dad material. On second thoughts, court would wind up in her favour. And speaking of such things, he loses his trial and then hilariously decides to blame whoever points the finger. That's the kind of thing you do when you lose an argument. So his story concludes with him being boated away to probably die. He also ditches his robot legs which, contrary to what Ocelot said during his torture, haven't shattered his legs to bits. Damn it, Kojima. Keep up with your fiction. Meanwhile Strangelove suffocates in a pod which you could get in and out of all the time in Peace Walker. Whatever.

Poor Hal.

Code Talker

I hate hearing him talk. He is the slowest at explaining anything and his sole purpose is to be a plot point and an exposition hub. He talks a lot about parasites in the epilogue and I simply do not care. He does imply revenge is a concept within the natural world which sounds like complete bollocks. The natural world is all about survival. Revenge is a completely alien concept to microbes. Shut up. He does find out about Quiet's problem, mind. Although he takes forever to tell anyone because DRAMA!

Li'l Foxhound

Eli and Mantis are probably my least favourite double-act in this game as they simply don't need to be there. Mantis already had a backstory setup in Metal Gear Solid and now he's just there as a KGB experiment who decided he was going to be drawn to rage for the next several months. Starting with the Man of Fire who, as we now know is Volgin. Yes, the Russian mindbender has decided to puppeteer a barely living, 20-years-dead Colonel because the only thing keeping him alive is REVENGE. Boom goes a hospital and Volgin walks on. Dumb.

Eli's story is difference in that, you can make a case for him being there. He resents Big Boss for the little time he spent with him but he seems so against authority in general that you wonder how the hell he wound up in the SAS. On top of that, he never changes his tune. He makes no attempt to connect with the father he barely knows and is just angry by default. Big Boss won't commit until that DNA test comes back so it's a stalemate of hatred. When the results do come back, "Oh, he's just some other kid!" and the penny drops. You actually went and did it, Hideo. And then the child-friendly mech which BIG BOSS INSISTED back to base as a symbol is stolen. I can't even begin to fathom that one. I mean, its a real good way to make your base a target. Remember the last time? You were there!

Quiet. Words and Deeds.

Now, I'll stand by and say she is largely a cool new character although she is effectively a punchbag. For some comparisons, let's take Coronation Street character Gail Platt. She's the first thing that springs to mind when I consider punchbags in TV and film. Throughout her tenure on the show, the following happens.

1. Marries a nice man. He gets stabbed and dies.
2. Marries another nice man. He goes and has an affair. They divorce.
3. Marries a psyhcopath. He tries to drown the whole family. It's great.
4. Her kid has a teenage pregnancy.
5. Her other kid decides to become a psychopath because nothing's happened to Gail in a while.

That's a rough existence for a fictional character. Quiet might just trump it.

1. Goes to kill Big Boss. Misses. Gets dead lungs for her trouble.
2. Undergoes parasite therapy instead of a lung transplant because modern medicine doesn't exist in this universe. Only future medicine.
3. Gets deployed to Afghanistan with even more parasites so that she can kill Big Boss with words. (Nice. Got one of my predictions right)
4. Arrives on Mother Base and at no point gains the respect of anyone but Big Boss.
5. Lives in a cage her entire time on Mother Base. Even when she's not suspected of anything.
6. Jumps into a chlorine cloud to save a child's trinket. Nobody gives a shit.
7. Runs away only to get raped.
8. Speaks English. Condemning herself to death.

The depiction of point seven is where I really, really, really hated Kojima. Y'see, he's going on about being ashamed of your words and deeds and yet this is how a harrowing sexual assault is depicted:

The deed happens. Naturally her magic powers conveniently return for her to stab many men in the junk. This is all happening whilst she channels her inner Xenia Onatopp and strangles men with her thighs. A fire breaks out only for Big Boss (who has not intervened at any time despite being within striking distance) to extinguish it. My fucking hero. Quiet emerges with her trademark gear and the camera focuses on her breasts.

YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT!

You can't portray a rape, go on about words and deeds and then undermine the worst thing that can happen to anyone by sexualising her response to violence (i.e. more violence) and then give us a tit shot! No! FUCK OFF! DISGRACEFUL!

But we're not done. The mayhem brings the fury of a battalion of tanks (who seem to turn up despite nobody radioing in) and, after a minute or so of fighting, Troy Baker is given the line, "Looks like Quiet's back to her old self."

YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT!

Jesus Christ, man. You made a big deal about a scene which contains an incredibly sensitive subject and, within a minute of it happening, EVERYTHING'S OKAY! No years of counselling, just kill a few guys til you feel better. I'm shaking my head here and I really, really wonder if Konami had any bottle to intervene at this point. That would've been the time to tell him no. It is the worst way this could've been handled. And now she's off forever to die somewhere. I like you, Quiet. Sorry Kojima was at the controls. Well, there's only one thing left to cover.

Big Boss and his Friend Big Boss.

The Eli tape telegraphed it and I had known beforehand due to me not being astute with spoilers but I was still curious to see the execution. I guess it sorta works. I had given up Kojima playing it straight because he seems to get all of his narrative cues from anime but the long and the short of it is that you have been playing as the medic the whole time. He took the brunt of the explosion and his survival gave Big Boss, Ocelot and Kaz the idea that they needed a body double. Zero placed Big Boss in Cyprus so he could observe his progress and, presumably strike when he came to. In that time, Skullface vegetated Zero with parasites to assume the Cipher chain of command.

In what little time they have, the medical staff drill into Venom Snake the idea he is Big Boss. They give him the face to match and, rather than use him as a simple decoy, they start this whole elaborate ruse where they condition him to be a Big Boss unto himself. That's bollocks, really. The XOF guys are looking for a guy with Big Boss' face. He's unable to walk due to the coma so just pretend to be asleep when Quiet comes, let her ice Venom Snake and then sneak your way out. I know Venom's whole existence is to draw Cipher's attention but a dead Big Boss gets them off your back equally and you can just get on with building Outer Heaven. At worst, they'll do some DNA verification on the corpse but, by then, you're away.

But no, they need two Big Bosses to set up Metal Gear. One commanding Foxhound and the other commanding Outer Heaven. Lets ignore Venom tries to sabotage his own mission by telling Snake to turn his MSX off. I guess instead of a situation where Big Boss might know the jig is up, the context is now that Snake meeting with Big Boss could blow the lid on the imposter. Except he won't. It was never intended that way in the first place. Plus nobody in the support crew bats an eyelid when Big Boss turns up and the guys in the Foxhound control room all look at Venom Snake. Deary me.

On top of this, the ending spells out Ocelot and Kaz being at odds. The former is still a fanboy whilst the latter has had his fingers burnt by the whole charade. So they pick sides. It'll wind up getting Kaz killed and Ocelot will get his lights punched out on a battleship 40 years from now. But there's still problems. Like, where is Venom Snake in Metal Gear 2? Actually, let's go further back. Metal Gear. Big Boss is ended for the first time whilst Venom commands Foxhound. He relieves command of Foxhound to Roy Campbell.

Why?

Is he reprimanded? "Hey, Big Boss. You're going to prison for this even though you died just a minute ago." Does he just up and leave? That's all you can do when the mission flops. The world made a lot more sense when it was just Big Boss Classic picking a rookie because he didn't think he'd get the job done. The events of The Phantom Pain make a lot more sense if you just play it as Big Boss, end it at Mission 31, have Zero pull round and for him to express his gratitude for you doing him a big favour.

Look, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye but I did not want Skullface's actions to be in my name. There's a threat in my organisation. I need it stamping out. You're the only man I truly trust at the moment and you have the personality to keep these men in line. If you're interested, Foxhound's waiting for you. I don't expect a yes. Just consider it. Thanks.

You still get the split with Kaz and the lead up to Metal Gear. Ditch Psycho Mantis and replace him with Gray Fox who, older than Eli, becomes his superior. Eli gets pissed off with that, Big Boss ships the little git away. Eli stamps Fox out in a couple of game's time.

A lot of this game's fiction seemed to be pandering to a crowd rather than trying to connect with a forthcoming fiction. The end for this should've been set in stone but this anime nightmare continued because this is the best Kojima can offer. It's all he knows. And it really, really sucks.

Other stuff

• Ocelot is younger than Big Boss but he looks like he was born old.
• The Metal Gear world is 15 years away from a massive oil crisis. I wanted to see more indications of that besides, "Man, everything needs lots of fuel."
• Sniper Wolf mentioned she met Big Boss in Metal Gear Solid. Missed opportunity.
• If parasites are so cool, why doesn't everyone have them? Why did it take 20 years to figure it out. You had nanomachines in less time. You had gene therapy in less time.
• WHY DID NOBODY ON STAFF OBJECT TO THE RAPE SCENE!? SERIOUSLY! NOT EVEN IN THE REVIEWS!

Man, I am glad to see the back of this.

As an aside I glossed over the timeline they spit after the credits.

1999

Big Boss establishes Outer Heaven. The Outer Heaven uprising occurs but it is squashed by Solid Snake who kills Big Boss' phantom

How? Is Venom leading the uprising? Seems confusing as fuck to have two Big Boss' on the opposite sides of the literal battlefield. As Solid Snake's XO, he should be staying put in an office. They shouldn't be in the same place. That'd be confusing for everyone concerned. If they make another one of these, that's the reboot they go with.

Huey still has the metal hinges in his legs; he just detaches the rest of the leg unit from it.

Quiet got to use her powers again because her pants were taken off I believe (remember she can't do anything with clothes on because she's a plant). But that doesn't explain that fact that you can equip her with the XOF uniform in-gameplay and she is still fully functional.

There's not enough information on the whole Outer Heaven/Venom Snake to say Big Boss and Venom were both in the same place at once. Venom gets the information for Op. Intrude N313 at some point, so maybe he's just stationed there for that mission. While previously it was Big Boss who was doing whatever to construct it up to that point. But all it tell us is that Big Boss establishes Outer Heaven, and the guy you kill at the end of MG1 is Venom Snake. (I'm guess a lot of your questions in "Big Boss and His Friend Big Boss" are changed/cleared with this information though).

Ocelot has always had white hair. See MGS3. Also people like O'Dwyer exist, who are 30 but look 39. And Jason, who's 40 but looks 29.

MGS1 retcons the oil crisis thing.

A missed opportunity with Sniper Wolf? Except, for all we know, Big Boss met her 5 minutes later after he rode off on his motorcycle. So whatever, a missed opportunity for Big Boss is more like it.

Why is everyone so sensitive about Quiet's portrayal in this game and even the camera framing on her. Snap out of it, guys, this is not even a real person it's made out of polygons! And if she was real then she would have been an actress playing a character. Don't treat this like some woman is being filmed without her permission.
It's a nice modeled digital lady and they show her off with sexy camera angles, this is nothing new in the Metal Gear Solid series, where every lady has a perfect body and shows off her breasts. It's part of the series.
The objections against it are as silly as people objecting against the girls in James Bond movies in 1970/1980. In fact, I strongly believe Kojima copied this character trait from James Bond; every woman the spy/super soldier meets is pretty and sexy and dangerous.

Also she does not get raped. Not even close. They barely remove her pants when she gets into action, even Lara gets more "raped" in the Tomb Raider reboot. That's why nobody objected the scene.

@shindig: Big Boss creates Outer Heaven, then when it's time to send Solid Snake in, he has Venom take his place so he can be in two places at once (the real Big Boss is the one leading Foxhound, giving Solid Snake "assistance" over radio). Solid Snake was never supposed to succeed in his mission.

Now a few things on Quiet. First off, I want it known that I despise this character and the way she's presented.

Now, having said that, she does not actually get raped. As soon as the Soviet solder pulls her pants down she goes to work. It's attempted rape, which is still played off in a disgustingly flippant manner, but it's at least somewhat better.

Also, although she did speak English, the parasites won't kill her. She leaves because she's going to become a walking bio-weapon à la Solid Snake in MGS4. The parasites kill you by attacking your lungs. Quiet doesn't have lungs anymore, so she's functionally immune.

@kasaioni: @dussck: @berserker976: Cheers for the responses. That's some gaps plugged. Especially the whole Intrude / double-boss business. I guess Big Boss Classic is the one that has to shive at the 11th hour. So, with Quiet's lack of lungs does that not put the parasites in some jeopardy? They feast on lung tissue for sustenance so will she now have a throat of dead parasites? And I'm still not okay with her representation. I know there's the 'its a cartoon' defence (which I'll happily use to defend violence in games) but there's a history of sketchy business with how Kojima represents female characters. It could be argued an anime fanboy will gravitate towards those depictions but when you bring 'words and deeds' into it, you're asking for a backlash.

And backlash ye shall have.

WAIT!

If Big Boss Classic is the one at the helm of Foxhound, that means he's back in with Cipher. This means someone who isn't Zero has his back. Does Ocelot set that up? He's the only candidate I can think of. Venom and Big Boss are effectively working towards the same end until Intrude so all those Cipher dudes they offed (although the majority were XOF) don't mean a jot because Big Boss can say, "Oh, that was Venom."?

@shindig: Unfortunately, you've now started to think about the plot more than Kojima himself. This wasn't a problem until MGS4, but nowadays you just have to accept that shit makes no sense and doesn't connect in a logical way.

It still doesn't make any sense that the real Big Boss ended up back at Foxhound, MGSV does nothing to clear that up. According to the timeline, Big Boss built Outer Heaven while Venom was dicking around in Africa and Afghanistan, then somehow got back into Foxhound as it's commander of all things. Then, (and this is where it gets murky) when the Operation Intrude missions began, he had Venom step in to take his place at Outer Heaven while he ran the missions (that were designed to fail) from Foxhound. He sent SS in thinking the dumb inferior clone rookie would either die or report back bad information, which would give Big Boss time to finish his Metal Gear. Shit went wrong and Venom ended up biting it.

@shindig: My understanding was that the parasites live in the throat/vocal chords and feed off of something in there, not the lungs? I dunno, there's about a lecture's worth of information on them in Code Talker's research tapes (and I appreciate the depth the parasites as a plot device were given in comparison the the hand-waving nature of nanomachines).

Yeah I'm honestly not sure how exactly Big Boss is able to go back to America to lead Foxhound. But the implication of the timeline at the end is that that's sort of a cover-roll while he "establishes" Outer Heaven. Which is why, I guess, it was a surprise that Big Boss (or his phantom, whatever) is the leader of Outer Heaven in MG1. Also I feel like, as you noted, there was hardly any confrontation between the Big Boss side of things, and the Zero side of things in MGSV. Most of it was between Venom and XOF, and Cipher obviously would want XOF out of the picture.

Also keep in mind that "Cipher" at this point is transitioning into what we know as the Patriots in MGS1, 2, and 4. I believe it's also implied in one of the tapes or the timeline that Sigint helped design/construct the Patriot A.I. at some point. Paramedic -er- Dr. Clark is this super mysterious rumor doctor doing super mysterious doctor stuff according to Huey (no one even knows whether Clark is male or female, how convenient for past game plot details). And Zero is pretty much in a wheelchair already. I wouldn't be surprised if that somehow made it easier for Big Boss to go back to America for some reason. I think Big Boss at this point will go wherever he can to achieve whatever he wants. (and also Kojima doesn't seem to care about that part of the story and said he had no desire to remake MG1/2 in any fashion yadda yadda yadda).

I feel like that's the big problem with Zero. He barely gets a chance to show up since Snake Eater. He's either conveniently in the shadows whilst someone else usurps command or vegetative for the remainder of his long life. You never get a chance to know what his deal is.