WARNING: THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE HAS A LOT OF WORDS IN IT. IF PUTTING LETTERS INTO WORDS MAKES YOUR BRAIN FEEL SAD, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM READING.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain is without a doubt one of the most hyped up games of the year. And while most people (and by most, I mean all) are looking to Kojima to throw us a bone (in the shape of a release date I might suggest) so that we can finally get our grubby little hands on this masterpiece, there is a more pressing matter. Let’s push all the important stuff that everybody cares about to the side for a moment so we can talk about a little something that may change your perspective on everything. Big talk, I know, but let’s assume for a moment that the Chico is Quiet theory is true as well as the body double theory and the theory regarding Ishmael as an hallucination who really needs a pair of pants. Now I know what you’re thinking: “But anonymous author! We already know those theories are true!” Well yes, I’m well aware of that, but this leads us to the perfect segway into the next “big” theory that will be sure to leave you and that one other friend of yours who likes Metal Gear, talking.

I‘d recommend bringing a flashlight my little lotus flowers, because today we shall be delving deep into Metal Gear lore and scavenging for all the puzzle pieces so as to allow this mystery to spread its wings and fly!

The Phantom Pain has a lot of trailers and material out right now. That much cannot be denied. After all, we have stuff that dates well back to 2012 to look upon. That being said, we’ll primarily be focusing on the MGSV Red Band Trailer, which is arguably one of the most informative trailers regarding not only gameplay, but the characters as well. After sitting through a whole lotta “WOAH OOOHS!” courtesy of Donna Burke, you’ll be treated to some character reveals such as Quiet, Eli, Skull Face, Hal Somthinrich, and so on. But as the title of this novel would suggest, none of these people are the subject of this conspiracy. No no, we’re focusing on the one, the only: CODE TALKER!

First thing’s first, anyone else find it strange that all these super important characters are introduced and they all begin building up to guys we have met in previous Metal Gear games? Then this random old dude who we’ve supposedly never met just pops onto the screen and tells us all to shut up. Not only this, but while ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE revealed during this sequence have been talked about to some extent or seen in trailers to come, Code Talker is NEVER mentioned or shown EVER AGAIN! EVER! “Well teeeeeechnically, Kojima said Code Talker’s name once on a twitter post from July 6th of last year. It was posted at 5:00am HOW DID YOU MISS THAT!?!” Shutup, that doesn’t count. To be honest, I was expecting to see Code Talker roll in on his wheelchair to whack some youngsters around with his cane in the Metal Gear online preview, but they forgot to put him in there I guess.

Seriously though, why would Kojima keep this obviously important character from appearing again later? All the other characters that were shown were plenty important. We didn’t just get some random reveal for: “Bobby Smith” “A hotdog vender living at an apartment in Dallas”. Oh no, we were shown some vital characters. This leads me to believe that Kojima is covering for Code Talker because he is afraid of revealing the truth. The truth that is: CODE TALKER IS A TIME TRAVELER TRYING TO KILL BIG BOSS!!! Oh, and did I mention he is actually Raiden? PLEASE DON’T STOP READING! I have proof!

Let’s make a quick list of what we know about Code Talker: He is old, he has been deprived of his homeland, he likes to sit incredibly close to a plethora of lit candles while wearing a very big fur coat. Now let’s list what we know about Raiden:

First, I guess I need to explain how Code Talker is Raiden (as if it were not obvious enough).

1. 

   The hair: Yeah yeah, it’s a cheap shot, but I mean just look at them! Who else in Metal Gear lore has hair like that?! “Well aaaaactually Major Ra-” No. Be quiet. Oh, and to quote the wikia, apparently Raiden’s hair has been put to question before: “Because of the length of (his) hair, Emma once speculated that the hair was actually a wig and that it was a badly done wig.” Keep this in mind when you read about that mask.

2. The languages: Time to lay some history down on yall! During World Wars 1 and 2, “Code Talkers” were Indian dudes who spoke in code in order to help Americans (and other dudes) win battles from behind the scenes. Code Talker has no exact age, and could therefore be from either World War, maybe both. Why is this important? Well, code talking first became thought of when an American officer, Colonel A. W. Bloor, noticed a number of American Indians speaking to each other while serving with him in the 142nd Infantry in France. Little did you know that one of the many languages Raiden is somewhat capable of speaking is French! Just as some Code Talkers would have known French as well! And considering the fact that Liberia was paired with the US during these wars, (and Raiden’s ethnicity is both Liberian and American) it stands to reason that he’d be familiarized with the French language as well as having an ethnic background that directly related to both wars and to the code talkers!

3. 

   The mask: Alright, I realize I’m sorta grasping at straws up there, but our list is just beginning kiddos. So riddle me this… WHY IS THERE A CODE TALKER MASK!? Seriously guys, why is this here? I don’t see a Chico mask lying around Kojima Land, so why does Code Talker (a character we’ve only seen once) only reappeared in the form of a mask? Well it’s obvious that this is Kojima’s super sly way of hinting that Raiden will be wearing the very same mask when he’s attempting to kill Big Boss. Passing off as a real Indian code talker isn’t everybodies bread and butter ya know? It only makes sense for Kojima to add motion capture to that mask he made, in order to transfer it to the game! Motion captured faces for motion captured faces confirmed!

4. The Bowie: Oh that’s right. David Bowie is the key to all of this madness. Before I even tell you how this relates to my (patent pending) theory, I’d like to point out that this is not the first time David Bowie has been brought up in the Metal Gear universe. Would it surprise you to know that Bowie released the album “Diamond Dogs” in 1974 (the year that Ground Zeroes takes place) and is a rock adaption of a novel named “1984”?! Not only this, but the novel deals with similar themes regarding Big Boss and his battle with Cipher… or Zero… or Major Tom… which, by the way, is the name of an astronaut from David Bowie’s song “Space Oddity”! The Bowie sees all and the Bowie knows all. Oh, but that’s not it. In the Sons of Liberty novelization, Raiden was told by Rosemary before the Big Shell Incident that he physically resembled David Bowie! THIS IS FACT! THE INTERNET TOLD ME! It would appear that David Bowie is vital in the MGSV story, so a character who physically resembles him must be vital as well.

5. The split personalities: Raiden has two known personas: Jack and Jack the Ripper. It’s important to tell the difference between the two, I mean seriously, one moment you can just be shaking the guy’s hand and the next minute he’s tearing your spine out. This is what they should be teaching you in school. My point is that if Raiden has two clearly different personalities, how tough would it really be to have a Code Talker personality thrown in there? Just make him drink some nanomachines, that’ll do the job just fine. Oh, and his eye can turn red cuz he’s a robot guy with robot stuff, so how hard could it be to get a couple of fake eyes that make you look like a blind old dude?

6. The fan service: I’m gonna let you all in on a little secret you might not be fully aware of… people in Japan actually liked Raiden! I’m gonna let you in on something else… Kojima is from Japan! Look, I realize he may not be the coolest kid at the laundromat for us Americans, but if Kojima really wanted to get some Japanese appeal, he’d throw Raiden in there and make him an important character.

7. 

   The FACT THAT HE ALREADY TIME TRAVELED IN THE LAST GAME YOU NINNYS!: Oh that’s right, don’t tell me you forgot Raiden’s convenient appearance in Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes. The guy flat out gets in the same chopper with Big Boss and has an entire section of the game dedicated to him killing aliens. In return for risking his life, Raiden only asks for some XOF patches, aaaaw isn’t that sweet of him? WRONG! Raiden could care less about those meaningless patches, he just needed an excuse to be near Big Boss, see his weapons, his concentration, his mullet, and maybe even his PUMA brand ‘Sneaking Boots’ with a removable gaiter, available now at the low low price of $365.23 order now! My point is that Raiden wanted to get in close to see what this ultimate soldier was really made of. You need to know your enemy before you actually try to kill him. Earning Big Boss’s trust is a good place to start as well. Wait a minute though… that’s not the first time Raiden has time traveled is it? In fact, that was his *checks wikia* 8 flippin times!?! What is it with this guy!? Well, I guess this novel is not over yet.

I’ll be brief and direct your collective attention towards the final Secret Theater cutscene found on the MGS3 Subsistence disk. Which can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dkkHni3H4Q . That’s right, this little beauty ties the whole thing together doesn’t it? Raiden has wanted to be the main character that everybody loves to a point in which he is willing to time travel 8 times in order to kill Big Boss! THIS IS FACT! CHECK THE WIKIA! or don’t… you probably shouldn’t. At the end of this trailer, Raiden, realizing his defeat, is briefly reminded of MGSV. Could it really be a coincidence that Big Boss has become the hero in this next game? Allowing this cold-blooded killer to strike again!? They say lightning never strikes the same place twice, but it will on Big Boss! Just thought that one up, pretty pleased with myself right now.

So now we have a motive. Ladies and gentleman of the internet, assuming you're still reading this for some reason, I’d hope that you’ve come to believe my theory (my TRUE theory) and will back me up in the days to come. Kojima’s reign of confusion and secrecy ends now! Oh, did I forget to mention that Kojima is actually Master Miller who is being voiced by David Hayter? Dang. Guess I’ll save that for next time.

TL;DR version

This Metal Gear fanboy lacks the ability to tell the difference between canon and non-canon content in Metal Gear Solid games and has made a nonsensical theory regarding Raiden time-travelling through different parts of the Metal Gear timeline based off of non-canon content.

I'm one of the biggest supporters of Metal Gear lore on this website and even I can tell when someone is going too far.

Thank you for summarizing that so I didn't have to actually read it.

Also I agree. There's no time travel in Metal Gear.

...I'm totally okay with this.

Metal Gear Solid games are bad.

Pretty sure he's just trying to be funny, dudes.

Big Boss invented AXE body spray in the 1970's. Anything is possible.

This makes more sense than Metal Gear Solid 2.

This actually got pretty hilarious after the beginning bit, thanks for the laugh.

@mooseymcman: yet

That was an amusing read! INDOCTRINATION THEORY!

Also Doritos and Mountain Dew. But only in the Japanese version.

*follows the money*

Yes, all Metal Gear Solid needed was time-travel. As if nanomachines that can subdue cancer and immortal vampires weren't enough. The ridicilous (but highly amusi g) theory of Quiet being a transgendered Chico was all due to a single instagram of a dinner plate with the captions "Farewell sausage." from Kojima himself. I'm not making this shit up.

While you're all here, do people still think Quiet is sex change Chico?

I think you might be onto something.

I guess we'll find out June 22nd.

For the record it was Native Americans, not Indians, that helped with code.

@octaslash: VR Theory dude.

Also, I guess op's theory might as well be true when you take into account everything else that's never been explained, like how Volgin has electrical powers and The Pain spews bees out of his mouth. For the MOST PART things in metal gear can all be explained as long as you have a vast understanding of every game and Kojima himself.

@flstyle: Dude. The entire thing is just one big hilarious joke. Didn't you read it? I loved it personally.

@ssully: At this point either term is interchangeable both in everyday conversation and in academia believe it or not. People have figured it is not worth the effort to make a big stink about it when "Indian" is so firmly entrenched in the lexicon.

Anecdotally, lots of Native Americans don't care either way because that isn't the most egregious thing people get wrong about them.

The Canadians sometimes call them "first peoples" but also don't actually give a fuck about them either.

Fun fact: When Europeans were first exploring the interior of North America, different tribes spent a lot of time playing them against each other to try to expand their own territory.

@reverendk: It's still something that shouldn't be encouraged and those in the know should use the correct terms. I'm part Aboriginal (Ojibwe Métis) and was very active in that community as a teenager and I can definitively say that first nations people hate to be called Indians.

@bisonhero: Crazy people think that. She's obviously related to The End in some way.

I dolike letters being made into words, but I don't like to talk about it. Rude.

@reverendk said:

For the record, it's not "first peoples". The collective term for them in Canada is the First Nations, but on an individual level I would just say "That person is an aboriginal". You could say "First Nations person", but it's so wordy that you'd probably only hear that from a politician or diplomat.

And while it's true that aboriginal people in Canada are sadly marginalized, I'd still say we give more of a fuck about them than the United States. At least in the sense that as much as there was conflict, Canada never just went full on genocide to the same extent that American colonists did.

Also the only people I know who still say "Indian" to refer to aboriginal people are usually like 50+ and seem super out of touch and old fashioned when they say it. It's like continuing to call people "Japs" when you could just say "Japanese".

But MGS 2 makes the most sense of all

@dudeglove: That's pretty great.

I'D WATCH A SHORT-FORM ANIME based on this premise.

To be fair, I think the OP was just being silly/humorous when he made this long post. Read out his about me section!

@gaspower said:

Now imagine how much better that short-form anime would be if instead it was Johnny Sasaki time traveling through different parts of the Metal Gear timeline. I'm kind of imagining it being like Forrest Gump, where he is accidentally barely a part of multiple major events.

Even better, what if it was BOTH Raiden and Sasaki and it was a time-travelling, buddy comedy like fucking Time Trotters but in a short form anime?!? Man, we're basically giving money away by throwing all these money-making ideas out there!

EDIT: I'd also make it so that every deus ex machina event that happens in the Metal Gear timeline was indirectly/directly caused by Johnny Sasaki and Raiden's TIME TRAVELLING SHENANIGANS!!!

This is mainly the reason I pointed it out. As a kid it's what I said, but it got drilled out of me over the course of grammar school, high school, and college collectively. I am not trying to a snob/look down on someone for saying Indian. It just seems super weird to refer to Native American's as Indians, especially in a world where people with actual Indian heritage make up a much larger part of the US population and the country of India is up there with some of the most powerful countries in the world now.

Of course everything I am saying is completely from the perspective of an American. I have no idea how the demographics are in other countries like Canada.

You're all going to be sorry when he's right.