May it remain history
Ranking “Hideo Kojima’s” Metal Gear Solid games based on years old memory
2023 marks the 25th anniversary of Metal Gear Solid and it feels weird in more than one way. It’s an occasion that much loathed Konami Digital seemingly would milk to death as the company crawling back to video games. The series started as military science fiction with near future setting. But with installments never venture pass a decade into their respective future, the series had become an alternative history story just before the current hiatus began in 2015. The rest is history and may it remain history.
The last time yours truly touched any MGS game was back in May, 2019, after some getting all weapon on site “naked” run of mission in Phantom Pain and before the bigger fish to fry appeared. Similar to how Kojima celebrated his quarter century long collaboration with Akio Otsuka sidestepping the products that made them both world famous, I am going to rank them without touching them in years. All 6 numbered installments are present since I did play them all. But allow me to start with the one thing that apparently no one plays.
Dishonorable mention: Peace Walker
Merely days before Sony implying “a new MGS game would come to PSP” back in 2009, yours truly traded in their first Playstation handheld in effort to buy an Xbox 360. Cannot say I regret it. Then in 2010, I did watch the cut scenes of Peace Walker not unlike how Metal Gear Scanlon did it.
This game lays in the bottom here not because of the merits or demerits of the game but rather its novelization. Written by Death Stranding co-writer Kenji Yano under the pen name Hitori Nojima, that fucking book should be avoided at all cost.
Remember how Death Stranding repeating itself over and over and over again? Well, in Peace Walker the book, “William Walker of Nicaragua” is mentioned twice within about the first 30 pages. By the third time that man once played by Ed Harris appears on about page 50, yours truly simply shut the book, dumped it back on the shelf and never touched it again.
Just like how Kojima should not take all the undeserving praise showered upon MGS games, he should not take all the blame for Death Stranding. Yano as a co-writer did not rain in that snake oil salesman in like people worked on the first 3 MGS games. Instead his yesmanship had certainly reduced a legacy that was never that real in the first place.
Sixth: Ground Zeroes
From something your truly did not experience as a game to something that should not have been sold as a game, I present to you, Metal Gear Solid V Ground Zeroes. Of all the things doing Fridging, the disgusting way this fucking thing did it certainly turned me against the trope very radically.
It even fucked up being a tease to Phantom Pain, Big Boss automatically gets up after a dolphin dive is a very baffling mechanic choice this “game” made. It’s short, it’s overpriced, and it’s not worth writing home that much.
Fifth: Guns of Patriots
Not to say ill of the dead, but I cannot disagree more with the late Ryan Davis on this game. Metal Gear Solid series to yours truly is paddling manifested as video games, so it’s very surprising to hear Mr. Davis calling MGS4 not paddling. Combined with Kojima and team’s effort to put the lid on the coffin and nail it tight, Guns of Patriots is just a slug to get through. At least it’s the end of line, right?
Fourth: Sons of Liberty
MGS2 is the first installment yours truly experienced in this series. I do not recommend to begin the series that way. Playing the poorly optimized PC port certainly did not add much to the experience and I dare say optimization is the least of this game’s problems while the pacing is the most.
Under all that long-winded and usually pointless philosophy, Sons of Liberty has a decent cautious tale about the information age to tell. But I dare say it’s bit rich coming from a snake oil salesman who benefit a lot from internet myth making. Not to mention that the uncannily valley of this game’s layered systems do not hold up all that well. But it was 2001 and some horrible thing just did a number on all our mind, right time matters, heh?
Interlude
Sorry about the f-bombs if you like the games above. This is a threshold between thumb-downs and thumb-ups. The 3 below are what yours truly regard as the better Metal Gear Solid games.
Third: Phantom Pain
2015’s Metal Gear Solid V the Phantom Pain is hardly an example for “video game as art”. The story is lacking for one reason or another. The open world is empty. Finishing missions can be satisfying at times, but walking away from the game, one cannot help but feel that it’s a big nothing.
But I dare say that there is no better game to let one feel like a ninja than Phantom Pain. The spy commandoes of Diamond Dogs move so smoothly in this sand box that Platinum games have tank control compared to this. Too bad that not even the current Kojima Productions can recreate that type of smooth movement.
Second: Twin Snakes?
I actually never played the Gamecube remake but in keep with using subtitles in the section here, I took that title and used it here. I played this game shortly after Ground Zeroes came out back in 2014 which colored my option more than one bit.
The more puzzle than action systems of 1998’s MGS is such a breath of fresh air that I could not help and adore it. The story also contains way less bullshit than the numbered or otherwise sequel. I can say that after actually played this, the fuzz surrounding Metal Gear Solid finally made sense to me. I just wish that I had got over the faceless polygonal model and played this earlier.
First: Snake Eater
My first impression of Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater was not a good one. Anime bullshit on top of Hollywood bullshit was just way too much bullshit for that 16-year-old to enjoy. Then Guns of Patriots came out and showed its ass, then MGS3 suddenly smelled much better due to how much less bullshit it contains. Everything has to be rated on a curve.
As the year 2005 approached, I guess people at the then newly rebranded Kojima Productions must have realized that the near future façade would end. So they went into that subgenre of science fiction: alternative history. Snake Eater can be seen as cowardly given how little its alternative history changed on the so-called bigger picture. But as a story standing on its own goes, this is the best MGS series has to offer.
It's a shame that there is not a definitive edition of this game to speak of. The HD remaster has smooth like butter framerate but its PS2 button mapping can be a hurdle to get over. The 3DS version has more modern control scheme but the framerate can be dicey and actually dizzying at times. Still yours truly would take it over any Playstation exclusives nowadays.
