"Man, I sure do like that tabletop game podcast an awful lot, I wish I could do something like that."

What if I said "you totally can!"? Hello there dear reader. @joystick_hero here with the first installment of "DM-ing Like a Pro", a blog written with the aim to help those of you who have never run a tabletop game, or bolster the skills of those of you who have run games in the past. This blog is going to end up focusing on different methods and tools that will help most with running a 5th edition Dungeons and Dragons game, although certainly there will be tips that can be applied to a variety of different games systems.

With that bit of an intro out of the way, let's jump right into the meat of this thing. Today's installment looks at the adventure construction aspect of tabletop games.

So You Want to Build an Adventure

There are a great number of guides that give advice in this matter out there on the internet. Many say to "build the world first and work down to finer details". That... Is incredibly time consuming. If you're running an adventure for friends, they will probably never think to ask "what is the principle export of this village" or "What is the ruling caste like?". In the Joystick Method™, instead of building a million things you may never use, I recommend building out from a specific moment you have in mind for your campaign.

What is the key moment you picture in your adventure? Is it sneaking into a third story building through the window? Fighting countless waves of the undead in a musty tomb? Talking the populace into overthrowing a corrupt king? Whatever it is, this is the most important thing to nail in your adventure, so why not start there?

Just pull out a piece of paper. Do it. Write your adventure thing right in the middle of it. Then circle it. I'll wait.

Notice how vague that is. I didn't put a city, or mechanics, or even who or what the heroes are chasing. Not yet. All I know is that I want my adventure to have a scene where the party is jumping from roof to roof while in persuit of a thing.

Now, we start building backwards. Start filling the story details out, don't worry about game mechanics yet. Give it the 'ol "Who, What, When, Where, Why": Let me give an example:

Who, What, When, Where, Why?

Who is being chased?

Logically, someone running around on roofs must be pretty good at acrobatics. Let's say the party is chasing a thief.

What is the reason?

The person being chased in a thief. They must have stolen something valuable. Maybe a magical item from the local wizard's guild?

When is the chase?

I don't mean a literal time (though, feel free to think that way), this is more a step where you consider what part of the overall adventure this chase takes place in. I want the chase to be towards the end of the story.

Where is the chase?

Well, I established the chase happened because a thief stole a magic thing from some wizards, so the chase itself must be happening in a part of town that's academic. The roofs belong to museums, libraries, bookstores, etc.

Why is there a chase?

In order for the adventurers to chase this thief so fast, they must have been at the place where the item was stolen. The adventurers must have expected a robbery and were there to stop it, but failed.

Boom, You Have a Foundation!

Through working backwards like this, you have ended up building a foundation for what the world around this moment looks like. It's important through most of these steps to keep things sort of malleable (unless there's something very specific you want to include!). This is because as you build more sections to the adventure, you may find that earlier decisions don't fit as well as you would like with the greater narrative you're building. That's totally cool, feel free to change any aspect at any time, it's your game after all, and the players will never be the wiser. Unless they can read minds. That's scary.

Do I Write Any of This Down?

No. Don't. Do not do that thing. Let me tell you another pitfall of playing a tabletop game: The party will never, never, NEVER do what you expect. It's good to have this stuff in mind, but if you go super in-depth about anything your group is going to go around it without even encountering it, every time.

That's okay though! Not doing this stuff saves a TON of time, and knowing your own world lets you adapt easily. Furthermore, not having every moment planned out perfectly makes it easier to avoid forcing the players on rails, which is its own talk sometime down the road.

Welcome to yet another installment of the Tuesday Night D&D blog. The only blog where you can get second-hand information about an authentic Dungeons and Dragons 5e game from someone who has first-hand experience and writes like a third-rate author. Let's get in there.

The Adventure Resumes!

We last left our heroes as Ghengis won a cool 50 g's (golds) playing poker against the rest of the party. From this point, the party had two options:

1. Go to the west, where the assassins were spotted and potentially die.
2. Go to the east, where it was rumored that prisoners have gone and potentially die.

After careful consideration, the party went with the second option, and approached a door to the East of the entrance to the fortress. Behind this door, the party was able to just make out the voices of goblins speaking. A lot of goblins. An uncomfortable amount of goblins.

The Party Handles the Goblin Situation

Hildegaard attempts to lure the goblins out of the room into an ambush, yelling something about goblin food and hiding around the corner. This draws the attention of a single goblin, who opens the door, looks around a bit, fails to see anyone who is hiding, and then promptly close the door again. Rurik found this outcome unsatisfactory, and promptly began pounding loudly on the door before "ding-dong ditching it". This of course gets the goblin's attention a bit more rapidly, and just as it steps out of the room to see what is going on Hildegaard stabs it through the head with her spear, killing it outright without a sound. Shortly afterward another goblin decides to see what happened to its friend and combat begins.

Despite an overwhelming number of goblins, the (now much stronger) adventurers manage to cut them all down with minimal effort. Ghengis was of particular help, casting a fog cloud that disorientated the goblins, following it up with a shatter spell that dealt a total of 52 damage and killed four. It was impressive all around. After a quick search of the room that yielded some much needed health potions (branded with Panacea's logo) and another vial of alchemist's fire, the party went East through the only other exit to the room: a wooden door labelled "Chikn Rum".

The Party Encounters Some Scary Chickens

Inside the chicken room, there were three cages with cockatrices inside. Using their ability to communicate with animals, Hildegaard spoke with one, learning that there were two humans who were "like us" that had been lead through there. It's a pretty safe bet that those were the missing persons our group was looking for, and I'm not just saying that as the person who wrote the whole thing.

Sivi listened at the doors leading out of the room, hearing gutteral speech of a nature that she had never encountered before. Further investigation by the party revealed that the speech was Orcish, and likely being spoken by, well, an orc.

Hildegaard, using her ability to speak with animals, convinced the three cockatrices to help them fight off the orcs in the next room, in exchange for freedom. The cockatrices accepted, as they really just wanted to be able to go back into nature. Hildegaard opened all the cages, and the cockatrices remained docile. It seemed that they'd uphold their end of the bargain.

The party then split up, Sivi/Hildegaard approaching the orc room from one side, and Rurik/Ghengis from the other. A classic Pincer maneuver. Kicking in the doors, the party initiated combat with three orcs in the next room.

The fight went well for our adventurers; with the added help from the cockatrices two of the orcs went down within a turn, with the last orc barely clinging to life. In a desperate moment, the lone orc swung at one of the cockatrices... and dealt critical damage, instantly slicing it in half. This shocked the other two cockatrices who just lost a friend. In a dramatic moment of vengeance, the original cockatrice that Hildegaard spoke to pecked at the orc, causing it to fall to the ground and turn into stone. The party had won the combat, but at the cost of a newly gained friend.

Sadly, the first cockatrice asked if it was okay for it and its remaining friend to return the downed cockatrice to nature,where it belonged. The party agreed, allowing the two cockatrices to leave carrying their fallen comrade. On their way out, Hildegaard asked the lead cockatrice it's name. Having never actually considered having a name, it thought long and hard before settling on the name "Cluck Cluck". The cockatrices leave, Hildegaard shot an arrow into the ceiling in salute, and the party continued deeper into the keep.

The Party Walks Through Three Bedrooms

The party's path took them through an aside where they walked through three different bedrooms, each unique in some way:

• One bedroom had very plain decor, with two training dummies across from a bed. One training dummy had several arrows sticking out of it, most of which were embedded in its neck and head. The other training dummy had been cut several time with what appeared to be a very sharp blade. Hildegaard took the sheets off of the bed inside. She has a thing.
• The second bedroom was finely decorated, with silk sheets on the bed and a fancy bookcase filled with magical research. A bliss lab, smaller but similar to the one in Lord Tybalt's manor, was also located in this room. Rurik took it upon himself to dismantle the lab, spilling a clear, ammonia smelling liquid onto the ground. Ghengis took a handful of books related to divination magic from the bookcase. Hildegaard took the sheets, again.
• The last bedroom had cheap, but expensive looking decor. In one corner, a pile of miscellaneous instruments was sitting, gathering dust. To the north there was a working desk with scraps of poetry and unfinished songs upon it. Hildegaard took the sheets. On the desk, Sivi noticed a recently written note that stated the following:

"Everyone laughed when I made the banner, but I know how important branding is when it comes to having a presence. "Lost Three". It has quite the ring to it, and as long as we only initial, no one will know that it's actually more than one person! I shock myself with my brilliance sometimes."

Suddenly, there was some doubt as to who L.T. actually was. A whole bunch of theories were wiped out with one little note. In the distance, the cackling of a DM was heard.

Ahem.

The party continued deeper.

Oh! We Were Expecting You!

The group reaches... Another door. As Rurik investigates this new room, the DM wonders to himself if maybe there are other ways in and out of rooms. After some research... eh. Not so many. Anyway.

Inside the room are three different figures sitting around a table. One is a seemingly blond woman with extravagant clothing and a lute by her side. One is a half-naked half orc male carrying a bow at his side. The third is an ancient looking dwarven male wearing purple clothes and a hat that's almost as silly as Ghengis'. These are, clearly, the people responsible for the attack.

A BUNCH of story things happen here. So many. Like woah. The party learns that these three people used to run security for the city of Holbeck before adventuring licenses became a thing. The blonde lady, who goes by the name "Elinda Lyrestorm" is ecstatic to see adventurers who actually can make it past a group of guards and overcome them. The other two sit silently as she begins enthusiastically pitching the party on joining their group.

"I mean, you'd have to start out as interns, but you're definitely higher up than those guards back there. Assuming you let any of them survive. Well, I mean. You're just like US, right?" -Elinda

This of course inevitably leads to the party deciding that the Lost Three are a nuisance and should be taken out. I'll give the short version, but there'll be an announcement at the end that takes the sting out a bit.

• Ghengis ends up snorting the Bliss he had taken from Lord Tybalt's palace 5 weeks ago. It lets him cast a VERY large burning hands spell that does some significant damage to the entire group of villains.
• Sivi, enraged, leaps upon the table and stabs both the wizard and Elinda, knocking them both to the ground and near death.
• Ghengis is actually knocked unconscious (the first time in the entire adventure!), Rurik gets revenge by crushing the half-orc to death behind a bookcase.
• Hildegaard ends up stabilizing both Elinda and the wizard, wanting to keep them from dying. She pulls it off, yay!

With two of the Lost Three unconscious (and one crushed to death behind a bookcase), the group explores the remainder of the keep.

They Found Treasure!

In a hastily constructed hoard room, the adventurers found the following:

• A scroll of Fireball
• A scroll of Chromatic Orb
• A Wand of Secrets
• Two Greater Healing Potions
• A Climbing Potion
• 480 Gold Pieces
• Five pieces of rose quartz valued at 50 gp apiece.

They also found Lenny & Lord Tybalt!

The two rascals were kept in a prison cell together. The nightmare that Lord Tybalt endured while listening to Lenny for three days or more was lamented. After some questioning, the party decided that Lord Tybalt was not a villain of any kind and that Lenny should be gagged. It was a good call, as I hurt my throat talking like that guy. (Thanks folks!)

With that, the party left the keep with Lord Tybalt, Lennix Thombend, Krisstina, and the two remaining members of The Lost Three. Short version:

• Lenny and the Lost Two go to prison, hopefully never to be seen again!
• Lord Tybalt offers a single favor in return for his rescue, the party decides to wait on it.
• Sivi escorts Krisstina north to Faycrest, where she has family waiting.

Everything is tied into a nice bow, and the first major story thing is completely and utterly resolved. Huzzah!

So, what now?

Hey guys. Let's do some real talk for a moment. This is... Like, THE MOST WRITING. Ever. It's the worst, even though I love doing it. So, since we've gotten past the "first chapter", I figured I'd be cool and start releasing the recorded versions of my sessions to YouTube. You can watch them there, you can download them as audio (though that might get weird since I'm working with a visual medium), and I get to use these blogs as a place to put side information. It's win-win. So look to the forum post for sessions going forward. I'll be adding the "keep" saga to it (older recordings were super rough, as I was still learning), and newer ones will go up day-and-date as I do them. It's been fun writing 2,000 words a week, but now it's time for me to actually focus that energy into making better recordings. You'll all hear from me ON THE INTERNET.

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Like sands through an hourglass... So are the Tuesdays of our lives. Hey everyone. Your friendly neighborhood GM Brandon here with yet another installment of Tuesday Night DnD. Feel free to get yourself a drink while you read, it's getting awfully hot out there.

Storming the Castle (Keep, Whatever)

We resume our game as the heroes are breaking camp, just at the forest line around a clearing, with an ancient looking keep in the center. I'll just go ahead and post what I said last week about it:

"Overgrown in ivy and covered in cracks, there was only one real defining mark on the keep: a red banner with "L.T." emblazoned in gold text."

Sivi was on the ball overnight. She scouted the fortress and found three different potential entrances:

1. Ivy had grown up a crumbling portion on the east side of the building, allowing access to the roof. Up there, there's a hole in the roof that leads inside.
2. The keep has a water access, on the west side a creek flows into the keep through a rusty-looking grate.
3. The front gate. Not ideal, but it's still an option. There are arrow slits pointing out from the main entrance, four in all.

Recommended Listening for this section:

After some discussion, the group decides to try the first option out. Hildegaard utilized her newly obtained animal companion (a lynx she's affectionately named "Smooch") to be able to climb the wall with ease, lowering a rope for the others to also climb easily.

Once up there, they all sauntered over to the hole, which was roughly four feet in diameter and lead the group down into a room where... Something bad seemed to have happened.

The group was in what appeared to be a broken down barracks, with all sorts of broken furniture littered about. The floor was covered in dried blood and a residue that Hildegaard quickly identified as something a Black Pudding would leave behind. To the west was the only door out, closed but with a 2-foot half circle burned through it with what appeared to be acid.

Long story short, the group thought that perhaps the water route might be a safer means of entrance. They climbed back up through the roof and went to the grate to try their luck there.

The grate entrance seemed fairly straight forward. Rurik grabs the rusty bars, gives it a yank, whole thing comes off with a crack, releasing some rust powder into the air. No big deal. Everyone crouch-walks their way through the relatively narrow water access until they reach a light shining down from above. Climbing up, they discover themselves in a well, in a relatively small room that can only occupy three of them at a time.

They were in.

A Captive Cook

The room, 15x5 feet, was very crowded. This didn't stop Ghengis from nudging his way past Sivi to listen at one of the two doors to the North for some kind of clue as to what lie beyond.

Past the doorway, Ghengis hears what appears to be a very one-sided argument.

"Now you're lucky we let you survive; so you're going to make us food! Alright!?" -A mysterious, angry voice

After some discussion among the heroes, Ghengis hears the argument stop, the sound of heavy boots going to the east, and a door noisily opening and closing.

Sivi at this time decides to exit the small room and see what lies beyond. Turns out, it's a kitchen, with a very distressed looking human woman who is preparing food at a counter.

After some comforting, the woman reveals that her name is Krisstina and that she was travelling by ship with her family when it was attacked by pirates not more than three days ago. She was the only survivor.

As a reward for her soon-to-be rescuers, she offers her only possession to Sivi: a single copper coin. Sivi very nobly refuses the payment, and tells Krisstina to take shelter in the corner of the kitchen until the way out is clear.

This room has two visible exits; a bending hall to the south and a heavy looking door to the East. The party decides to try the eastward path first, Rurik making an attempt to kick it down that only causes the door to rattle on its hinges. This, of course, causes the two Thugs and a Bandit Captain in that room to walk over to see what the commotion is about. The heroes quickly move into position to ambush anyone who comes into the room, and Rurik grips a barrel full of grain.

A Kitchen Fight

I try to breeze through combat descriptions, because they're not super interesting to write about. So, long story short, Rurik throws a barrel at a boss-looking guy and cuts someone else in half the long way, Hildegaard gets a great one-liner ("Stick around a bit longer!" as they stab a dude in place), Sivi hits an enemy for 23 goddamn damage with her twin rapiers, and Ghengis has problems with his magic (until suddenly, a flamethrower from his fingers). Our heroes prevail!

Choices in Direction

The room to the East ended up being a cafeteria, with another door to the East(er) that lead down a hall. The heroes, recalling what one of the thugs had said while fleeing in that direction ("I'd rather take my chances with the slime!), opt to NOT pursue that particular route through the fortress, instead going back to the kitchen and trying the hall to the south.

This hall eventually leads to two distinct doors. Behind one, Sivi hears what appears to be gamblers around a table, behind the other has what sounds like sentries who are looking outside.

Hildegaard comes up with a plan: the heroes bar the sentry door using tables from the cafeteria, while the party goes to examine the gamblin' room. Just at that moment, Ghengis comes up with a plan of his own. Using a newly acquired spell, he takes on the form of the Bandit Captain, and plans to walk through the poker game as if he was "doing rounds".

It's extremely effective. I'd write it all out, but listening to audio of what happens is much easier: Soundcloud Link to Nonsense

Short, unfunny version: there's four guards in the first room off the door, and three assassins further in.

After seeing what seemed to be a "dead end" route, the party switches which door they have barred, and Ghengis attempts to continue his ruse through the other door.

Heya, Bub

This room appears to be the main entrance to the fortress, with a single door off to the east and four sentries with crossbows who are looking through arrow slits to the south, two on either side of an enormous gate that leads outside.

After a bit of talking, Ghengis convinces one of the guards that he should get in on a poker game, while the rest of the party (sitting completely exposed just around the corner the entire time) has a brief moment of panic now that there's a guard coming straight for them.

Just before the guard rounds the corner, Ghengis breaks out another new trick related to his ability to change his appearance : retractable, Wolverine-style claws. A two stab betrayal towards the poker-bound guard initiates another combat.

Combat Bullet Points:

• Hildegaard, using her mighty pet Smooch, tackles a guard and rips its throat out savagely. Smooch looks pleased.
• Sivi pins a guard underneath a table, and mario-jumps on its head, killing it in a most gruesome way.
• Ghengis uses some plants he found to cause a giant explosion, dealing a total of 40 damage and lighting guys on fire.
• Rurik takes a brutal hit that brings him just inches away from death, he recovers enough to pull two handaxes out and decapitate his attacker.

After a lengthy 7 round combat (which is 42 seconds in-game, but more like half an hour in reality) 8 guards are dead, and our heroes look a bit more battered. Rurik is extremely lucky in that one of the guards happened to be carrying a greater healing potion, which nearly brings the barbarian back to full health.

Ending the Session

Searching the poker room revealed a combined total of 50 gp worth of items that some of the guards had been gambling with. Of course, the only fair way to distribute the wealth was with a friendly card game. Despite good efforts by all (and some cheating by Hildegaard), it was Ghengis who had the fortune to win the hand and the prize. Proving that he's incredibly awesome.

With this aside, our session came to a close. What lies in the other half of the keep? Everyone will have to wait until next week to find out.

Hey there. Take a seat by my ornate fireplace and pour yourself a snifter of fine bourbon from my pure crystal decanter. Enjoy the dulcet tones of Morgan Freeman as he reads the remainder of the blog to you inside of your imagination. Welcome to the write up for the third session of Tuesday Night DnD.

Our story opens on the interior of the Celestial Siren Tavern, where our adventurers have regrouped after their time spent training / investigating the disappearance of both Lennix Thombend and Lord Tybalt. The investigation duo of Ghengis and Sivi did not manage to discover much, simply that there was outside assistance involved in the previous session's jailbreak from potent spell casters.

There was a brief aside where Hildegaard conversed with Corstine Littleknight, a halfling bard and Beldak Shipsail, a half-orc. The duo had been talking about some adventuring jobs that they had been recently on, and was just getting into being stiffed for payment on their last job when a messenger came in through the front door with a letter.

The party, clearly wanting to get to the parts of the adventure where things were happening, then departs from the Celestial Siren to go and meet with Vicar Adolman, the captain of the guard.

Before they get there though, they first swing by the FABULOUS Marketplace. It was my DM handwavy way of allowing the group to spend some of the gold I've been giving out on items that have a great deal of potential when used correctly. I'm just going to include the items for sale in this post so that other interested parties can use these (mostly) custom items in their own games:

Items from the Marketplace (In no way associated with Fantasy Costco)

Rod's Rods:

"You'll love the feel of my rods in your hands!" -Roderick, proprietor

Immovable Rod [200 GP]: A D&D classic. Has a button that causes the rod to remain fixed in place until the button is pressed again. Can resist 8,000 pounds of weight. Requires a DC 30 Strength Check to move 10 feet while active.

Invincible Rod [150 GP]: Cousin to the Immovable Rod. Under no circumstance can the invincible rod be destroyed.

Swiss Army Rod [50 GP]: Can turn into the following at command: 50 ft. rope, crowbar, 10 foot pole, Fishing pole w/hook, Miner's Pick, shovel. Also has a corkscrew on it.

Pointy Rod [50 GP]: A seemingly normal looking stick that, on command, extends into a spear. Great for sneaking weapons into places they shouldn't be.

Light Rod [50 GP]: This rod has a button that causes it to light up much like a torch. Has unlimited uses, and will function even when wet.

Panacea:

"We have the cure for whatever ails you! Also, the opposite of that." -Maybelle, Owner

Healing Potion [50 GP]: Restores 2d4 +2 HP upon use.

Hurting Potion [50 GP]: Can be applied to either one melee weapon or 3 ammunition. On hit, a creature must make a DC 10 constitution saving throw or take 1d4 poison damage.

Climbing Potion [30 GP]: Gives advantage on Athletics Checks for climbing

Potion of Night Vision [50 GP]: You gain 60 ft. of darkvision for one hour.

Potion of Blocking [50 GP]: Grants +1 AC for an hour.

As a minor disclaimer, if you plan on using these items in a home game, might want to tweak the gold prices to fit your setting.

Back to the Adventure

Everyone basically just buys healing potions, although Hildegaard picks up a pair of "Pointy Rods" (I'm surprised that no one bit on the immovable rod, honestly). The group continues on their way, but as they pass down a side road they are ambushed by a group of thugs.

"You really ought to be careful about who you piss off" - A Thug

Despite having superior positioning, our group of heroes manage to brutally kill their attackers. A couple of noteworthy events occur:

• One thug, upon seeing how poorly this fight was going for the crew, rethought his life's choices and ran away.
• The leader of the group also ran, but Sivi got him in the back of the head with an arrow.

Having thoroughly disposed of the attackers, our group continued to Vicar's office at the barracks. Inside, Vic tells the party of a stolen ship that had recently left the harbor and was seen going South. He believed that it was likely connected to the recent disappearances, and encouraged the group to go and meet up with Corora Bearcharger, who has a boat waiting for them.

Predictably, shortly after saying all this, there's the sounds of combat coming from outside the door. Vicar calmly bolts his office door, walks to the back corner, and pulls a rope revealing a roof access. He then told the adventurers to sneak out the back, while he would do his best to prevent anyone from following.

This lead to a rooftop escape/chase sequence. It was pretty gimmicky, enemies chased after them, people jumped roof-to-roof; it was interesting to DM. Anyway, there were a few noteworthy things that occurred:

• Rurik found a large ruby stored in a crate as he went across a bit of rooftop storage.
• A man was playing a fiddle on one of the roofs. Rurik shot him a thumbs-up as the dwarven berserker used a zip-line to get from one roof to another, bolstering the fiddler's confidence.
• Ghengis spotted a strange man drawing a pentagram with red chalk through a hole in a roof.
• Sivi spotted a terrified wizard instructing an overly ambitious apprentice.
• Hildegaard slipped on roof tiles and had to hang from the edge of a roof by her fingertips.

Eventually the chase culminated at the city's docks, where Corora stood on her boat, shouting for the adventurers to hurry up as more thugs shot crossbow bolts at them.

They got away. Relief. Everyone took a nice long rest as the ship made a day's voyage towards the south towards an island where it was suspected the boat went to. As night approached, everyone went down into the body of the ship to get a good night's rest.

It's never that simple.

The Ship is Attacked!

The party is awoken by the sound of wood crashing into the side of the ship and the clangs of metal on metal. It's clear that something was attacking, and just as everyone stood up two men came running down the stairs to greet the party, with torches in hand.

I should have mentioned that there was a keg of Dwarven blasting powder in the hold. Torches. Hm.

Turns out, after quite a bit of fighting and a close call or two, the attacking boat was being lead by the assassin from the first session. This teaches the group a potentially valuable lesson: if you allow someone to survive, don't be surprised if they come back to attack you again.

Action Bullet Points!

• Ghengis, in a last ditch effort to stop thugs from lighting the blasting powder with a torch, gets on top of the keg and shoots FIRE at them. This miraculously works.
• Rurik is determined to throw the blasting power into the other boat to blow it up. He stumbles on the throw attempt and it falls into the water. At least there it was no longer a threat to the ship they were on.
• Sivi attempts to pose as the Assassin, but the group of thugs is not fooled by the existence of someone else who looks kind of like their boss. These guys are experts.
• Hildegaard spears dudes like there's no tomorrow. Spears for days. Spears for years, even.
• Corora (accidentally) steals Rurik's idea, and throws the assassin off of her ship, pulling a Harrison Ford "Get off my plane" in the process.

The adventurers now have a second boat. Things are looking up.

Wherein the DM Got Sleepy and Sped Past a Bunch of Content

The adventurers arrived at a forested island that had clear indicators that boats had been visiting it recently. After convincing Corora to stick around for their return, the party goes to the island using the boat they've acquired as loot from the ship battle. Hildegaard, using her expertise at navigating forests as a ranger, quickly finds the trail leading to where all the people on the island have been going: a large, rough stone keep. Overgrown in ivy and covered in cracks, there was only one real defining mark on the keep: a red banner with "L.T." emblazoned in gold text. The adventurers set up camp, and prepared themselves for an assault on a fortress.

Miscellany

In the event anyone is wondering, as soon as I'm done with my school finals and this branch of the adventure is complete, I'll be including my DM notes for how these adventures could have gone. Might be interesting to the players, might be useful for other roleplay peoples. I dunno. But look forward to those.

Welcome to the second official blog post of TNDnD, the only blog officially licensed to write about unofficial Giant Bomb Dungeons & Dragons sessions! (Not actually licensed or official).

Our second session was designed to be a bit shorter than the first, since it had to take place a bit later in the day due to today being a day where there'll literal ripping of teeth out of my head(thanks wisdom teeth!). Making it quite a bit simpler overall than the political intrigue from the first session.

The Opener

The game opened on a scene where a group of goblins, from behind cover, were lying in wait to ambush a wagon coming down a dirt path. The fun twist-y bit was that role of the goblins was played by the players of the group. A silly gimmick, but I secretly enjoyed it.

A cart comes up the path, with 6 guards escorting it. The goblins are in hiding in bushes, three on one side of the path, two on the other.

"Your orders from Gokt, your leader, were clear: "Kill everyone. Take Everything"

The goblin group easily manages to decimate the cart and the guards, largely in part thanks to a decisive firebolt by Zarnk (Played by Hildegaard) that ignited Dwarven ale in the back of the cart, creating a large explosion that knocked most of the guards prone.

After cleaning up the remaining security, the goblins find a chest in the back of the remains of the cart. They manage to pry the chest open, revealing that it is filled with various coins and gems, worth 194 gold in total. Gurg (Ghengis) sees the gold, pulls a scimitar, yells "BACKSTAB!" in goblin, just as the scene ends.

Back to our Adventurers

The scene opens with our adventurers in the office of Vicar Adolman, who you may remember is both the captain of the guard and the person who's in charge of all the adventurers within the city. The group is there to get information about the goblin hunting job, and find out that goblins have become more bold recently, attacking caravans entering and leaving the city with unusual frequency.

"The roads have never been "safe", but usually if you have a few guards goblins won't bother coming close. Something has been motivating these new raids, and I want you to see what it is." -Vicar

On their way out of Vic's office, Hildegaard notices a dejected looking Lennix Thombend sitting in a holding cell off to the side. The party, thoroughly satiated from their previous dealings with Lenny, opt to just let him rot in his cell and head out into the city.

Before heading out, Rurik decides to go and find some shop where he can get a shiny new shield, with which he can bring his armor class up to a much more respectable 15. He stumbles upon a shop called "Asdig Aristdotr's Adventure Emporium" where he meets... Well, Asdig. Asdig is a female dwarf with messy red hair who wears sensible-looking purple clothing and thick glasses which magnify her grey eyes to great detail. She also has a black pet rat who hangs out on the counter. Because that's something any store should have.

"I have exactly what you need! Give me a second. *Runs to a room in the back* *Loud clattering sounds* *The sound of a crate spilling its contents on the ground* "Aha! Found it!!!" -Asdig

Freshly shielded, the party heads out the north gate of the city into the grasslands beyond.

Wherein the Adventurers Find a Cave

After about 2 hours of montaged walking the party predictably stumbles upon the cart from the beginning of the game. Hildegaard, a trained expert in goblin tracking... Actually fails the check to track the goblins. Luckily, Sivi with her goddamn ridiculous rolling skills manages to pick up on the trail of the goblins, which was marked by loose coins and a blatant lack of any attempt to cover footprints.

The trail leads the group to a cave, where there are two nearsighted goblins standing watch from behind a pair of wooden barriers. Hildegaard, using a crude goblin costume she crafted during her time off (basically, just a green carrot and some shoddy ears) manages to draw one of the goblins into an ambush. The second goblin falls soon thereafter.

Having taken care of the guards, the party notices a secondary entrance to the cave, hidden behind some bushes. Hildegaard, being a halfling and therefore well suited for crawling in tight spaces, goes through the tunnel, while the rest of the party analyzed the situation from the front entrance. From their vantage points, the adventurers all see 5 goblins, sitting around a campfire, 4 of them looking like they'd just been in a fight.

The group comes up with a plan: Rurik will bang his shield to draw the attention of the goblins, while Hildegaard moves in from the side to catch them by surprise. It's foolproof.

"Come out to plaaaaaaaay!" -Rurik

Combat happens! It's exciting! The humans quickly learn that a lack of night vision really sucks when one of the goblins puts out the fire in the middle of the room using a bucket of water, but the entire party inevitably prevails over the derpy goblins.

With the threat taken care of, the party takes a short rest, and Rurik searches a chest in the room, finding a vial of Alchemist's Fire. The group then moves further into the cave system.

Wherein the Adventurers Find a Tiger

In the next area of the cave, the party stumbles upon a tiger being kept in a rather small cage. Sivi, being a friend to animals of all types, lays a trail of food leading deeper into the cavern, before opening the cage to release the large feline. The tiger seems grateful, eats the food, and wanders off deeper into the cave.

This ends up being a bad thing.

The party, before walking after the tiger, goes up a side path in the cave, where two goblins attempt to attack the group from the shadows. The goblins die incredibly fast, shocking the DM and motivating him to put 5 goblins next time.

The side path holds the chest from the beginning portion of the game (with slightly less gold than before), thieves' tools, and a mysterious pair of gloves. After Ghengis spends some time looking at them, but cannot manage to figure out what they are. Rurik, despite not having ANY magical background, immediately identifies them as Gloves of Thievery, which lets folks who can't lockpick, pick locks.

Bolstered by the new loot, the group ventures deeper into the cave.

Wherein the Adventurers Find an Enormous Fire

Doing some scouting ahead, the group finds the final room of the cave, where 2 bow goblins stand guard around a throne, on which a larger goblin sits, petting his pet tiger. The group, at this time, comes up with a brilliant plan. No seriously. I'm the proudest DM.

The group takes the bedrolls from the first room, and arranges them along the narrow hall out of the throne room. Sivi then lures the goblins out from the room, leading them onto the bedroll gauntlet, which is then set ablaze by a well-placed firebolt by Ghengis.

The entire group of goblins and tiger were all defeated in two turns. These players are shockingly deadly.

Within the room, the adventurers discover the following:

• A note on a desk within the room, encouraging raids from the goblins, signed "L. T."
• A throne, clearly made by professionals for royalty
• A fine bed... With goblin pornography hidden in the sheets. (Sivi takes it for research)

Sivi also skins the tiger, with a roll of 6... So not so great. But tiger skin! Yaaaaay

Having completed their adventure, the party decides to head back into town to collect their reward, safe in the knowledge that nothing could possibly go wrong.

Wherein Things Go Horribly Wrong

"They're gone!" -Vicar

So, turns out, while the adventurers were out killing goblins, a few things happened.

• The powder Vic confiscated was totally bliss, so he went to Lord Tybalt's manor for an explanation
• Tybalt, turns out, has been missing since the party from last session.
• Vic comes back to his office, only to find that both Lennix and the assassin are both missing as well.
• Vicar has been berating the guards for gross incompetence.

Click here to hear the nonsense. (There be swears in here).

Both Sivi and Ghengis split up to find information on what has happened, while Rurik goes off into the woods to hone his body and mind for upcoming battle.

What's Next?

The group is going to have to play Sherlock and try and figure out what has happened. Where have the missing people gone? Are they working together? How did all of this happen in the span of a day?

The only way to find out is to come back to the next session of Tuesday Night Dee-en-Dee!

Hey everyone, I figured I'd post what happened in the first session of our little 'unofficial Giant Bomb" D&D 5e game. Originally I had some thoughts about potentially recording the session, maybe making it available to folks out there.

Turns out, even trying to edit 3+ hours of anything down to something that approaches being enjoyable to listen to is basically impossible, especially when the people involved aren't professionals by any capacity. However, I haven't given up on logging these sessions. Instead of trying to figure out hosting for 3+ hours of footage, I'll be providing the overviews on here. What a novel idea, that.

The Introduction

“It is said that there is no place in the entire world that is brimming with opportunities as the city of Holbeck. Over the last 40 years, the city, once a simple docking village on the Starwur Sea, has transformed into a bustling center for trade, largely due to the careful guidance of its current leader, Lord Tybalt.

This sudden growth hasn’t been without problems however. With rapid growth came increases in criminal activity and other, vague problems within the expanding citizenry. The town guard, pushed to its absolute limits, petitioned to have additional help. This need for help lead to the establishment of a system, wherein those who are either brave or foolhardy enough could acquire adventuring licenses within the city. These licenses effectively allow the city to help itself, allowing those previously mentioned brave/foolhardy folks to take on paying jobs provided by the populace.

Our story opens on the Celestial Siren Tavern, located in a relatively quiet part of the city, where five recently licensed adventurers are sitting around a table, with three different jobs before them. Despite having a wide variety of backgrounds and desires, fate has seemingly forced them together in this moment. How things progress from here depends on how this first job goes, but which job will they pick?”

The Adventurers Have Job Options

After some debate amongst each other, the group decides to pursue the guard job at the Tybalt Manor. They arrive at the manor's front gate, just as the gala is beginning, where they meet Vicar Adolman, the captain of the guard and person in charge of the adventurers who operate within the city. Vicar expresses some despair at having inadequate city guardsmen to run security for such an important event, and a perceptive Genghis notices that he might not be disclosing everything he knows about what may happen at the event.

The party works their way into the manor and begins to schmooze and work the crowd. While doing recon, Rurik notices one person who seems out of place: a man who is dressed in extravagant green clothing with "a poofy hat" who seems jittery and a bit nervous. Genghis attempts to listen in to find a name:

Here's a voice clip of the shenanigans (I say a swear word in here, just so ya know)

After learning this man's name is Lennix Thombend, both Cay and Genghis talk him up, attempting to learn more about this strange fellow. Genghis successfully fools Lennix into believing that he had known "Lenny's" brother in Wizard Technical college, although nearly reveals that he is working security for the party just as Cay steps in. Cay speaks with Lenny, discovering that at one time Lenny had been in line to be the ruler of Holbeck, but was denied that by the much more popular Lord Tybalt. Before much else is learned, a scream is heard from the kitchen.

Our adventurers run to the kitchen, where they find the staff there in distress and screaming about a "man in black" who had been poking around the food before he punched a kitchen worker and ran off towards the building's basement. The group rushes to the basement, which appears to have been set up to be a practice room of sorts, with training dummies and weapon racks on the walls. However, there is seemingly no sign of anyone being there. As the adventurers split up and look around the room, Cay notices a gap behind a weapon rack, clearly a secret door of some kind. As he approaches, however, three of the blades on the rack begin to float up into the air, blades turning towards Cay. (Turns out, they're flying swords).

There's a really rad battle, people got cut up by magical swords, and it is discovered that thin, flying blades are actually really hard to hit. Also, as it turns out, spears and rapiers are the most potent of anti-sword weapons, and rays of frost apparently can only hit swords that are no longer animated. The group eventually prevails, and travels down the hidden passageway, into a subterranean room where the air feels thick, and the smell of chlorine is potent.

"There are two large, barrel-like reservoirs in this room, each with a paddle inside that rotates magically, stirring the contents. Copper piping connects the two reservoirs, and a third branch of the pipe goes to a nearby table. This table is covered in alchemical equipment, glass tubes, burners, and among the instruments you notice a small, circular glass container with a pearlescent powder within..."

The powder, it turns out, is a rather potent drug known as bliss that has been troubling the town lately.

I'll throw some information about this stuff here, since this isn't exactly a standard D&D item:

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What the party knows about bliss:

For Non-Magic Users: For up to an hour after taking Bliss, you can cast Prestidigitation, Firebolt, or Guidance as if you were a natural magic user. After casting a single spell, the effects of Bliss immediately end.

For Magic Users: You immediately regain a single spell slot, the level of which is equal to 1/2 your highest spell slot level. For an hour after use, the next spell you cast will be more effective than usual (up to the DM's discretion for what that actually means). After casting any spell, the effect immediately ends. You cannot regain more than 1 spell slot per adventuring day by using Bliss.

While under the effects of bliss, the user has disadvantage on all charisma and wisdom based rolls. (Except those which effect spellcasting).

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Some of the party members, predictably, take some of the Bliss with them. For research purposes. Or something.

The party then follows the mystery man's trail towards the back of the room, where a tunnel is located. There, the adventurers find rats. Another fight occurs, where it is learned that

• Sivi is really, really good at killing rats. Uncomfortably so.
• Ray of frost works much better on living creatures than on animated swords.
• Rurik is into rat kebabs.

Once the rats are dispatched, the adventurers find a ladder that leads upwards, and after moving the stone lid out of the way, they find themselves just outside of the estate, in a garden. The entrance to the 'drug lair' seemingly hidden under a rock that moves when pushed from below (but not from above, as they later discover).

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That's about the halfway mark of the first session. I'll write up the rest before the next session. Sorry if the tone of this isn't great from a narrative point of view. I'm an engineer, not a writer.

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Continuing on!

I could have just pretended that I wrote everything in one sitting, but eeeeh. Much like my DMing, not gonna take this writing thing all too seriously.

Anyway, adventurers get up to the top of the tunnel, find themselves in the garden, and are once again approached by Vicar, the captain of the guard. Vic starts harassing the adventurers for seemingly abandoning their posts, but is silenced when he sees their wounds, the drugs, and Rurik's rat-kebob.

The party tells Vic of the drug lab and assassin. Due to the nature of the party, Vic insists that they shouldn't go and try and arrest the lord in charge of the entire town just yet, but promises that he'll follow up on their story once he analyzes the powder the adventurers came up with.

Of course, only Rurik actually handed over any powder. Both Cay and Genghis still had theirs stashed away. For independent study.

Our group then heads back to the gala, where things have really started getting going, mostly thanks to alcohol. They all spend some time recuperating from being stabbed by magical swords, when Sivi notices a few muddy footprints going towards the men's restroom.

Because my fantasy world has indoor plumbing.

Within the restroom there are three stalls. Sivi, being the gung-ho lady she is, promptly kicked all the doors in. Turns out, after kicking one of the doors, the stall was booby-trapped, and a dart carrying a potent sedative shoots out at her. Sivi is exceptionally awesome however, and she gracefully matrix-dodges the dart, causing it to embed itself in the bathroom wall.

The party then notices a window that's ajar. Predictably, this leads them to some muddy footprints, which then leads the group to the estate's stables. Which, despite looking very fancy, still smelled terrible. As a stable will.

Once in the stable, a shadowy figure leaps from the upper floor, and darts out the door. This results in a chase sequence, where:

• Hildegaard pole-vaults using one of her spears onto a greenhouse roof.
• Everyone parkours gracefully off of a roof and into a garden, while Genghis and Cay do the smart thing and just walk around to the entrance.
• The group, using a combined effort, manages to determine which path to take through a hedge maze
• Rurik actually screams "ARBOR DAY" as he rages and cuts two twig blights cleanly in half
• The group manages to shoot the unknown figure in both legs with arrows and ice magics

And they even kept up with him step-for step the entire time! It really was great, considering that the assailant was supposed to be able to get away and all.

The chase ends at the center of the garden maze, around a large fountain. Despite the unknown figure's ability to conjure flying swords, he is quickly subdued by a berserking Rurik, who knocks his legs out from underneath him, before smashing his head into the dirt with the non-sharp part of his axe, subduing him.

Just as everyone starts to calm down, good old Lenny shows up, before freaking out and running away. Sivi, immediately catches and tackles Lenny, as she is some kind of insane flip-wizard.

Exposition, exposition, turns out Lenny hired this unknown person to sow discord in the party in a weak attempt to get people to view Tybalt as a weak leader. Though, thanks to the adventurer's unusual aptitude, he failed spectacularly. Both the assassin and Lenny are taken to the authorities, but not before Genghis pockets a mysterious stone that the assassin had on his person. The stone is clearly magical, but it's a vague kind of magic. Sivi also basically stole all of the assassin's cool black clothes. And they all got 350 XP and a bunch of gold. Good adventuring day, all said.

And that basically covers what happened in our first session. 3+ hours, and a real hum-dinger. Though, there are a couple of loose ends for the party to ponder:

• Where did this assassin come from?
• What is up with the DRUG LAB beneath the lord's manor?
• What kind of magic does the stone have? (Genghis is actually looking on magical wikipedia during his off-time to find out)
• Why is Lenny's voice so annoying?

Most of these questions will most assuredly be answered in future sessions.

Oh, and if anyone can figure out how to host 3+ hours of video without it being an insane nightmare / knows a really good VOIP service, lemme know. 'Cause written documentation really doesn't encompass how rad some of these moments were.