Giant Bomb Review

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Rogue Warrior Review

2
  • PS3
  • X360

Rogue Warrior is probably the most foul-mouthed game of all time, but that's not enough to distract you from the poor shooting and sometimes-ugly visuals.


Ever been stabbed by a man with a tight ponytail? 
In the highly competitive world of first-person shooters, it's hard to believe that a game like Rogue Warrior actually made it to shelves. That's not to say that it's a horrible, buggy mess or anything like that. But the gameplay is astoundingly generic, and the single-player portion of the game lasts somewhere between three and four hours. Also, it has two stock multiplayer modes--deathmatch and team deathmatch--neither of which are much fun. It's the sort of game that might make sense as a throwaway budget title, but at full price, Rogue Warrior shouldn't be on anyone's list. But... there's something about Rogue Warrior that sort of makes it stand out, even when you take into account its otherwise bland nature.

That something is the game's dialogue. It's read by Mickey Rourke, who mutters all of his lines in a way that sounds closer to sleepy than bad-ass. Specifically, it's the content of that dialogue that stands out. Rogue Warrior might be the filthiest, most curse-filled game to ever make its way onto console. When you step into the shoes of real-life Navy SEAL "Demo" Dick Marcinko, you're stepping in a heaping pile of shit. Shits, really. And fucks. And motherfuckers. Almost every line of dialogue, from "eat shit, fuckbag" to "happy fucking birthday" to "rock and roll, motherfuckers, rock and roll" is peppered with the type of language you wouldn't want your mother to hear. Half the time, the lines barely make sense when set against the action. That will certainly be a turn-off to those of you with more sensitive ears. But even if you're accustomed to the rough stuff, the way it's used in Rogue Warrior is only good at making the game a bit more laughable than it would be otherwise. Without the over-the-top language, Rogue Warrior wouldn't have any discernible characteristics at all.

On the story side of things, you play as Marcinko immediately after he's inserted into North Korean territory, where he's planning to investigate a missile-building operation. In true Rambo-like fashion, Dick doesn't stand down after figuring out what's going on. Rather than waiting for backup, you'll infiltrate Russia, blow up some more missiles, destroy a bunker or a palace or two, and then get out. Right about that time, the credits roll. It's a short and uneventful experience with a lone payoff in the end credits, which plays a song featuring stitched-together lines of dialogue. Sometimes it rhymes. You could watch that without playing the game and get just as much out of it as I did.

The gameplay allows for a bit of stealth and even includes close-up melee kills, which are canned animations that play out when you get close to an enemy and hit the action button. These usually involve Marcinko burying his knife deep into the skulls or torsos of his foes, and they get repetitive quickly. Also, in multiple cases the icon for the kill move would appear, but hitting the appropriate button wouldn't actually trigger the animation. It all feels very sloppy.

The shooting isn't much better. The movement feels stiff, and motions like looking down the sights of your gun feel sluggish, like it's taking more time than it should. Also, the guns take up large portions of the screen when you're aiming down the sights, which can make it hard to line up headshots. I ended up playing most of the game with the default pistol, which is silenced and has infinite ammunition.

Ow, my neck! 
The game also has a multiplayer mode, which offers both deathmatch and team deathmatch on a handful of maps. Though you can perform the knife-based kill animations in multiplayer, it only takes a few bullets to drop an enemy. Also, I ran into an issue with the 360 version where, after a match ended, it rolled the credits and gave me an an achievement for finishing a single-player level without dying. Since it played the amazing credit music again, I wasn't too bummed out about that. The multiplayer, like most of Rogue Warrior, is functional, but totally uninspired, with no hook to keep you coming back.

Visually, the game sports some pretty awful effects. Though "Demo" Dick is supposed to be blowing things up left and right, the explosions look awfully pathetic. The animation is incredibly stiff and the enemy character models look really bad. Marcinko himself looks passable, compared to the rest of the game. Also, the frame rate is consistently low, with heavier dips during busy scenes or knife kill animations. It's an ugly-looking game from top to bottom.

You have to wonder how something like this makes its way onto shelves as a full-priced product. Though there's some sort of ironic fun to be had by cruising through the short campaign and listening to Mickey Rourke shout obscenities, it's practically impossible to wring $60 of excitement out of this disc. If you're the ironic type that loves dumb games, you'll have a few laughs at Rogue Warrior's expense, but even compared to ironic favorites like 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, Rogue Warrior comes up short. Jeff Gerstmann on Google+
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Posted by Allprox

2 stars seems a little high from what I saw in that quick look, but hey, fuck that fucking shit.

Posted by Webby

"Dude, im hitting A"

Posted by CharlesAlanRatliff

Good review, motherfucker!

Posted by DoctorPayne

That seems... generous.

Posted by Cheapoz

"  Also, I ran into an issue with the 360 version where, after a match ended, it rolled the credits and gave me an an achievement for finishing a single-player level without dying. " 
 
Holy my goodness. Best Achievement glitch ever.

Posted by Video_Game_King

Hold on a second: lots of swearing, poor shooting mechanics, bad graphics....oh my God! This is Kane & Lynch all over again :P! (Seriously, those phrases are perhaps the most apt way I could describe the game.)

Posted by Kohe321

2 stars is not really surprising after what I saw in the quick look. Great review, Jeff.

Posted by Bigandtasty

Expected a motherfucking two-star. Good fucking review of a goddamn 50 Cent Blood on the Sand type of game. The fact that the game lasts three motherfucking hours is a huge fucking turnoff.

Posted by gingertastic_10

2 fucking stars. Who fucking saw that shit coming.

Posted by LonelySpacePanda
OVERRATED!
Posted by AdventChild

Motherfucker

Posted by cap123

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk yeah
 
fuckkking two stars yeah.
 
more than i expected :)

Posted by LethalKi11ler

Poor Jeff playing through the whole game for us... I would have lasted for about 10 minutes.

Posted by Jimbo

Jeff doesn't give a ****?

Posted by AshleyBTB

I thought the Quick video was funny.
Posted by JackSukeru

2 stars seems about *u****g right.

Posted by Soap

cool..... so how about the achievements?
Posted by Metal_Mills

I'm amazed this even got 2 stars.

Posted by Milkman

Nice review, you cocksucking commie motherfucker.

Posted by super_machine

Dude, that fucker looks like Paul Mitchel.

Posted by Yummylee

Better just to download the credits song really.
Posted by Brackynews
@Webby said:
" "Duder, im hitting the fuckin' A button." "
Fixed.  Fuckin'  A, man.
Posted by Addfwyn

2 seems high for a game that released so buggy and in such a crappy state.
 
Maybe the hilarity got it an extra star, MST style.

Posted by StingingVelvet

This is why video games need to use budget pricing more often.  If this came out at $20 I would probably buy it.
Posted by Almeida69

Fuck! 2 fucking stars? I didnt even expected a fucking review let alone 2 motherfucking stars!

Posted by leky1

In the shithole!I fuckin remember watchin the fuckin Rogue fucking Warrior motherfucking trailer and it amazed the fuck out of me,then these goddamn cocksuckers spit this shit out,fuckin bitch motherfucker!Seriously this fuckin post is to fuckin long so fucking over and motherfucking out!

Posted by spelis

Best review ever!

Posted by JJOR64

I figured this game wasn't going to get a good review.  After watching the quick look, I can see how this game did get a 2 out of 5.

Posted by wwfundertaker

Im surprised it got two stars.

Posted by PhilESkyline

This looks like a game I would play if I was truly bored and were looking for laughs.

Posted by Jayzilla

Jeff said,  "but even compared to ironic favorites like 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, Rogue Warrior comes up short." I said no thnaks to that one too. QL's have saved me tons of money this year! Thanks GB. 

Posted by solviper

It's a fun game to just pop in and do some sick moves and hear many creative ways of using the word "Fuck" but definitely not worth anymore than say 5-10 dollars.

Posted by Siris

more foul-mouthed than... Kane & Lynch?!

Posted by Jensonb

"Rogue Warrior is an ugly, ugly game..."

Posted by DJJoeJoe

I assume one of the 2 stars is for the credit song, right?

Posted by JeffGoldblum
@LethalKi11ler said:
"Poor Jeff playing through the whole game for us... I would have lasted for about 10 minutes. "
It was only 4 fuckin hours long and Jeff's Commie ass got some fuckin achievements out of it and a fuckin review for his fuckin website. I bet he wasnt too fuckin put the fuck out.
Edited by NickLott

Well, at least it was better than Tony Hawk Ride. There's a feather in it's fucking cap.

Posted by get2sammyb

Honestly, expected 1/5.

Posted by reviltihco

Poor Jeff 
 
Thanks fucking Jeff for play this fucking game for me and don't let my fucking life go through that fucking pain.

Posted by mm665
@StingingVelvet said:

" This is why video games need to use budget pricing more often.  If this came out at $20 I would probably buy it. "

Are you  serious dude, this game isn't worth even 5 bucks.
Posted by CrazedJoker

This is bullshit faggot cunt douche mother fucker!

Posted by Moridin

Fuckin' ninja style.

Posted by Sharpless

I'm hitting "  " on this review, but it's not letting me! I'm hitting it, dude!   re you seeing this?

Posted by nnilley

Haha, still - this game is funny.

Posted by Skins

Mickey would be fuckin proud mother fuckers. I hope he fuckin sees this shit.

Posted by Brendan
@Bigandtasty said:
"Expected a motherfucking two-star. Good fucking review of a goddamn 50 Cent Blood on the Sand type of game. The fact that the game lasts three motherfucking hours is a huge fucking turnoff. "

Oh yeah Mutherfucker?? For fucking me, having to play this goddamn sonofabitch for ONLY three fucking hours is a fucking blessing! 
Posted by DayOneAdvantage

Going by the fucking QuickLook, I would have thought this motherfucker would have got a little pussy 1-star. TWO stars, Jeff? You cock-breath motherfucker!

Posted by spilledmilkfactory

i'm fucking surprised as shit this got 2 dick fucking stars. my commie ass fucking expected it to get one shit-assed star based on that granny-fucking quicklook. donkey dick!

Edited by TheIneffableBob
The game deserves 5 stars.
Posted by Mus

motherfu**

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