Goddamn it, Ryan. You son of a bitch.

How could I possibly say goodbye to you when I never got to say hello in the first place?

This is beyond unfair.

Shit...

Ryan. Holy shit, Ryan. You meant so much to me and mine. I'm not even going to bother with pretense or qualifiers here. No one on this site needs to hear it. Everyone just knows: You were family.

Giant Bomb started out as just a funny little games site with a funky achievement system that I would visit from time to time. Then I started listening to the podcast and then the funny videos came. The site very quickly became my alpha and omega of video games coverage and fun, dumb shit.

Before too long GB was just straight up my television. Honestly you guys could have been covering quilting instead of games and I would still come back every single day just to take in your fun personalities.

I never, ever would have thought anything like this would happen. I was not ready... Not in the slightest. This week was supposed to be business as usual...

Every day without you has been nothing but tears, Ryan, and I honestly can't see how I can just 'get over' this loss. I love the GB community, staff, and you. Every time I click back into the site I just... I expect to see you... To hear you.

Shit, man. This just isn't right.

I wanted to say something really nice, really poetic. Something that more eloquently expresses the pain I feel in your absence.

I just can't.

I promise you that I won't cry forever. I know that would just send you into a flailing, goofy rage. The tears, I know, will stop eventually.

I can't promise this wound will ever heal, though.

I'll lower my head, keep on going, and pick up that controller from time to time. I just hope, wherever you are, you can do the same.

Thanks for everything, RTD.