Ending stats were something like
 
You: 12 probes
Enemy: 200 Zerg
 
D: wtf happened

...wait what? 
 
You just made probes or what?

" ...wait what?  You just made probes or what? "

Pro Time - Chrono Boost the Zeolots

Zerg Rush, I'm the same boat, never played Starcraft so I'll probably get bowled over as well

I never learned much about starcraft and I'm bad at managing my base while doing other things, so once I get it i bet that's how all my matches will look.

My friend gave me his 7hr free trial so once that finishes downloading I'll try it and see how badly I'll get raped.

I could imagine my results looking similar

As long as you had fun, winning or losing doesn't matter.

I would be surprised to see anyone win their first match in starcraft 2.

I remember my first SC2 game. 1 hour long. Never had one as long since.

You should try 2 vs 2ing against A.I. that's how I got decent at Warcraft 3 and Battle for Middle Earth 2, just playing against A.I. and upping the difficulty, then applying tactics to a normal game, though playing the A.I. on WC3 was always a bummer because they reacted so fast, but it helps you get the basics down and building structures at the start and what not, I'll assume the same applies to the basics of SC2.

tbh I'm more scared of zealot rushes than ling rushes or baneling busts

won my first 3 :) practice league of course. watched a couple of streams of pros on the run up to release tho. helped a hell of a lot

" Ending stats were something like  You: 12 probes Enemy: 200 Zerg  D: wtf happened "

i got my ass Zerg rushed my first game. The sad part is the other guy said it was his first game too.

I had someone ragequit on me in practice league for my first game.  I got annoyed by the rocks in front of the bases, so I built up some reapers and started harassing his base and expansion alternatively, neither of which he really defended except for building some zealots.  As soon as I moved out some forces to attack for real he got pissed and quit.  Really makes me wonder how much practice league helps - just instills bad habits about early base defense, build order, and scouting.
 
Since then I won my first three placement matches - one very close one where I got lucky catching some of his forces off guard and blitzed his base right before he was about to blitz mine - and then got pretty well destroyed in a TvT match where I didn't attack nearly fast enough.  About to play my last one when I get time, though not sure if I'd rather lose or win.  Don't think I'm gold material.
 
It's amazing the disparity in skill that comes out as you play.  You can look amazing one match and get absolutely crushed the next.

" Pro Time - Chrono Boost the Zeolots "